


When the world is on your shoulders and you're falling to your knees, you know love will set you free

by juststreetspirit



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 1930s, Abusive Relationship, Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Animal Abuse, Attempted Murder, F/F, Gross, I know, Lena is married to Mon-El, Mon-El (Supergirl TV 2015) Being an Asshole, Mon-El will be called Michael because what a weird name, Movie rewrite, Murder, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Water For Elephants AU, more than an asshole, performer!lena, vet!kara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:27:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 42,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24511534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juststreetspirit/pseuds/juststreetspirit
Summary: When she peeked her head out of the cart, what she saw was like nothing she'd ever seen before. Rows of people were jumping off the train, shouting and laughing, making their way to the big expanse of grass ahead. Kara was filled with curiousity and jumped down herself, taking in the view, but turned back towards the train when something caught her eye.Daxam Bros, the most spectacular show on earth, CIRCUS.She laughed, shaking her head,how'd I manage to jump on a circus train.ORWhen a tragic event causes Kara to lose everything she's ever known, she happens to fall in with a travelling circus. There she meets Lena Daxam, a beautiful performer she knows will surely bring trouble to her heart.ORThe Water for Elephants AU no one asked for but me.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 44
Kudos: 178





	1. New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I finally decided to write this AU that I just couldn't get out of my head, hope you enjoy!

Everything had went as planned- she was graduating college. All the effort and hard work had lead to this moment, this new beginning.

Kara made her way outside, head held high and briefcase in hand, feeling the early morning breeze on her cheeks. She was wearing her most expensive trousers and fanciest shoes, shining at the toes- the night before spent scrubbing them to perfection until her hands cramped. Her white button-up and plaid blazer also sat to perfection, but it didn't matter how immaculate they were- she would always be looked at oddly.

Women weren't supposed to wear what she wore, it was seen as not normal- unnatural. They were supposed to wear flowy dresses and high heels, but it all never appealed to the blonde. When she was made to wear dresses they felt uncomfortable, always restricting and suffocating her. Trousers made her feel more herself and a few odd looks wouldn't change that.

As she walked towards the yellow, dusty road- her parents close behind- she slowed to a stop, turning to them. The girl was immediately pulled into their warm embrace, a head on each shoulder.

Her father pulled back first, hand resting on her arm, "We are _so_ proud of you, Kara."

The blonde lowered her head, a bashful smile etching onto her face, "I know, but don't be proud of me yet- I still need to sit the final exam."

Her mother tilted her chin up gently, "Don't you be dampening all you've achieved in these past four years. This exam will be a piece of cake."

Kara went to protest but didn't get the chance.

" _Ah._ " She lightly scolded. "You've worked _so_ hard for this and it's finally your time." She started idly fixing her daughter's collar- a collar that did not need fixing. "Now, you go and show them what it means to be a _Danvers_."

Her father chuckled and she responded with a kiss to each of their cheeks, "Kocham was oboje." _I love you both._

"My też cię kochamy." _We love you too_. " _Never_ forget it- good luck!"

She turned swiftly on her heels, straightening her shoulders and taking a deep breath, feeling the fresh air fill her lungs. "Here goes nothing."

Her feet crunched with each step, leaving swirls of yellow behind, as her mother and father watched the retreating form with loving eyes and proud smiles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara was about to start the exam, the only sound was the ticking clock on the far wall- it was deafening. Her stomach was in knots, but her parents words of encouragement eased the anxiety she felt. This was it, the final step to her new life, she was going to graduate in Veterinary Science. But, little did she know- it was all going vanish in an instance.

The classroom door swung open.

"Miss Danvers."

She gulped, _why are they calling me, do they think I've cheated_ , she thought, panicking.

The student slowly raised from her seat, making it screech across the floor, and edged cautiously down the aisle, feeling everyone's eyes on her- boring into the back of her head. When she reached the man, he leaned in close and lowered his voice, "I'm sorry for the interruption, Miss Danvers, but there's been an accident."

Everything after that was a blur, voices were muffled and her body moved on autopilot.

Before she knew it she was at the morgue, face glistening with a layer of cold sweat, eyes dull and facing her two dead parents.

They were gone.

"That's them." She breathed, after staring desolately for what felt like hours.

The coroner turned to her, his eyes sympathetic, "Have you got any other family members we can call."

She swallowed down a lump, "No... it's just me."

The blonde walked out of the building, numb, the fresh air hitting her face with a smack, immediately making her stomach turn nausiatingly. She ran into an alley across the road and was throwing up the content in her stomach before she could stop.

Kara fell to her knees with a thud, not caring about the pain, and stayed staring at the brick wall blankly for what seemed like days.

By the time she was on her feet again, the sun was setting, and she lumbered through the small town, a mile from her house, not acknowledging any of the stares- she was used to it after all.

When Kara finally reached home, the sun had set long ago, and dust had replaced the shine on her shoes. Her parents car nowhere to be seen. The building was dark, empty- it suddenly didn't feel like home.

The door slowly creaked open, the sound echoing down the dark hallway. It was so very different from what she was normally greeted with- the smell of her mother's cooking and obnoxiously loud music playing from her father's radio.

Instead, the radio was quiet and the air empty.

She walked past family photos, not giving them a seconds glance, making her way to one place.

Looking at their bed- that's what broke her. She collapsed onto it, a choked sob escaping her lips, as her senses were enveloped with the smell of her mother's perfume- she cried and cried, soaking the pillow with her salty tears.

At some point she fell asleep, tiring herself out completely with the gut-wrenching sobs and unexplainable grief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Miss Danvers, the house and _all_ their assets are property of the bank."

Kara furrowed her brows in frustration, "No, I'm telling you- you're _wrong_. My father owned that house, he worked hard for it."

The man behind the desk sighed, "Well, these documents were signed by him _four_ years ago. Did they need money for any reason at that time?"

Kara closed her eyes, shoulders slumping, and sinking further into her chair, "My tuition."

"There you have it. Now, if you hadn't gone to college, maybe you'd still have a home." He said simply. "But, I doubt it with the way your father ran his business."

Kara controlled her anger as she replied, "My father was a good man, when people asked for help, he gave it to them."

"No, your father was an _irresponsible_ man, who let people pay him with chickens and eggs and whatever they had _instead_ of money."

The blonde sighed deafetedly, rubbing her face.

"Don't make the same mistakes he did."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her home was now empty, bare of all furniture. She had one briefcase full of clothes to bring. Bring where- she didn't know.

Kara had absolutely no idea where her life was going. She'd had it all planned a few days ago- graduate in veterinary science and become a vet. It's what her whole life had been leading up to, but now- now she had nothing.

She closed the briefcase, leaving her home and life behind.

The sun had risen and the blonde started walking, she didn't know where she was going, just knew that she had to get away. A few hours later, her top button open and face shiny with sweat, she came along a train track and decided to follow it- surely it would lead to somewhere.

The blonde spent the rest of the day walking down the middle of the track, waiting for a train that never came. It was dark when she finally spotted a tiny lake and decided to stop, her body aching all over and feet blistered and sore. She gently took off her shoes and rolled up her trousers, lowering her feet into the cold water- she couldn't help the small groan that escaped.

The water made her burning feet feel much better and she let herself relax, listening to the birds chirping amongst the trees and the lake moving with her feet- nothing but her and the stars. Although, her moment of peace was short lived, interrupted by what sounded like a stampede with loud bells. Then it clicked, _Finally_ , she thought.

Quickly pulling her shoes back on and lifting her briefcase, she ran towards the train, trying to decide whether to jump aboard or not. The sound was thunderous, and it was going at a much faster pace than she'd expected, making her decide quickly.

She threw her briefcase to the side, landing in a bush, needing both hands to pull herself on. The blonde sprinted along side the train, trying to find an open cart. When she finally caught sight of one- she jumped.

Her hands managed to just about grip the bottom of the moving vehicle, and she pushed herself up onto her elbows, trying to get her leg around. Her foot landed inside, and it was all she needed to swing her body up.

She let out a breathy chuckle, facing the moving ground. When all of a sudden she felt strong arms around her, grabbing her by the neck and pushing her up against a wooden box. A gun cocked beside her head and she tried twisting to see it, fighting against the strong hold.

"Hey, don't mess with Jimmy- throwing people off train's is one of the perks of his job." Said a gruff but friendly voice coming from the darkened cart.

"We don't need any bums on this train." The man- currently choking her- said threatingly.

The friendly voice spoke again, appearing to her left with a lantern, "Will everybody just calm down. Jimmy let her go- on the _inside_ of the train. And Alex, put that _damn_ pistol away. I'm telling you we don't need no trouble, look at them clothes- she ain't no bum."

The man- Jimmy- let her go, eyeing her clothes wearily.

"Don't worry, kid. It's only a reflex with Jimmy there. I'm John-" He pointed towards a woman not too far, leaning against the side of the train.  
"-that's Alex, and you already know James, but we like to call him Jimmy."

Kara tried catching her breath, "I'm Kara.. Kara Danvers."

"Well, it's good to meet you Kara Danvers." He said, taking a gulp of whisky and pointing it in her direction.

She took it gladly.

"You're pretty young to be on the rails. You running from somethin'?"

Kara interjected quickly, "No-no- nothing like that."

"Well, where you headed?"

Kara swallowed thickly, trying to cover the rising saddness, "I don't know."

John seemed to understand, changing the subject, "You hungry.. outta work? There's no shame in that." He hummed lowly, "What can you do?"

She chuckled lightly, "Umm, just about anything- I _guess_."

" _Ahh,_ well we land and deposit in the mornin' and we'll get you some work for the day. If you're still alive by the end of it, I'll take you in to see Michael- the lord and master of the known and unknown universe _himself_."

"And who's that?" Kara questioned curiously.

John just smiled, "You better hold on, kid- you're in for the ride of your life."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After her near-death experience, they lead her to an array of bunk beds, squashed and lined up the two sides of the train- only one narrow aisle in the middle. It felt clammy, confined and very sweaty, but she'd take what she could get. _Good thing_ _I'm_ _not claustrophobic,_ she thought.

"There, this'll be your bunk for now." John informed, gesturing to an empty bottom bunk.

Kara smiled gratefully, patting his shoulder, "I appreciate this... thank you- for not killing me."

He chuckled, " _Agh_ , don't you worry about it. Now, I'll see you in the mornin'."

Kara nodded eagerly, "Yes, of course. Bright and early."

He left her to it, making his way to his own bed as she lowered herself onto hers. It creaked with each movement and the man above her didn't seem to mind moving _a lot_. She went to sleep hoping she'd wake up alive and not crushed by some sweaty stranger.

The blonde did in fact wake up, but to the sound of the train stopping and what seemed like hundreds of people getting off. She raised her head, looking around empty bunks with squinted eyes- sunlight coming in from the open cart. She shuffled out of bed and tried flattening her dishevelled clothes- the clothes that kind of saved her life.

When she peeked her head out of the cart, what she saw was like nothing she'd ever seen before. Rows of people were jumping off the train, shouting and laughing, making their way to the big expanse of grass ahead. Kara was filled with curiousity and jumped down herself, taking in the view, but turned back towards the train when something caught her eye.

 _Daxam Bros, the most spectacular_ _show_ _on earth, CIRCUS._

She laughed, shaking her head, _how'd_ _I_ _manage to jump on a circus train._

People were busy unloading wagons, carrying pillars and dragging along ropes. The sun was shining brightly in the sky, making the field seem somehow greener. She started walking, hands in her pockets, passing everyone doing their jobs. Some people were hammering pillars into the ground and attaching ropes to bring up the tent, others were unloading wagons and trotting by with their horses.

But, the thing that struck Kara was the fact no one was paying attention to her. She wasn't receiving the usual disapproving, odd looks- she was just another person walking by.

It felt freeing.

Groups of men were pulling the ropes, rising the tent slowly but surely. And she made her way under the large piece of material, looking up in awe. She came back later, once everyone had left and the tent was at it's full potential, observing the animals that had been wheeled in- deep in thought.

She had a feeling her parents sent this train her way.

There were lions roaring to her left, and a hyena laughing to her right- all in cages except one. The blonde slowly made her way towards the giraffe near the back, tied to a pillar.

When there was only a foot between them, she held her hand out, letting it sniff her palm.

"How are you, ma'am?" She asked, smiling.

" _Hey_! What the _hell'er_ you doing in here! Get out of there!"

Kara spun around quickly, shoulders slumping with relief, when seeing it was only John.

He waved his arm, "Come on, you ain't no menagerie expert. I've got you some work."

"With the animals?" She asked hopefully, jogging over.

"Oh, you _betcha_ \- follow me."

They exited the tent and made their way back towards the train.

"You'll want to have as little clothes on as possible. The smell clings to them like nothin' normal."

A confused look settled on her face, "What?"

John laughed, "You'll see."

When they were aboard he threw her a white tank top and an old pair of trousers and boots. "Put that on and head to the last cart, Alex is waitin' for you."

She gave him an _are you serious_ look.

"It'll all make sense soon- you'll thank me later. You're in the circus now, what'd you expect."

He left, giving her some privacy, and Kara started to unbutton her shirt. She looked at the thin tank top wearily, _at least_ _it's_ _not a dress._ Once her new attire was in place, she went outside, making her way down the train, suspenders hanging low, hitting the backs of her thighs.

She spotted Alex, shovel in hand and waiting.

"Fuckin' _finally_ \- what took you so long!"

"I'm sorry, I had to change." She replied, gesturing down her body.

The brunette rolled her eyes, "Well, grab a shovel and come on."

She did just that and followed, "What exactly is it we're doing?"

"Shovelling shit! Now, get in here!" She shouted whilst jumping into the cart, Kara not far behind.

The smell hit her instantly, and she had to resist the urge to gag.

"You get used to it... eventually." Alex said, already starting.

Kara screwed her face, taking her first shovels worth, "This is not what I had in mind when John said I'd be working with animals."

Alex tried to stifle a laugh, "You better get used to it, nobody else will do the job but us peasants." She paused, showing uncertainty. "But.. umm.. I wanted to apologize. We got off on the wrong foot- you know with the whole me holdin' a gun to your head-"

Kara raised a hand, waving her off, "Listen, it's fine. I understand what it must've looked like, and I'm just grateful you didn't shoot me."

"Yeah- me too. It's nice havin' another woman round. I've been stuck with gross, sweaty men for the past year." She joked.

When they were finished, shiny with sweat and jumping out of the cart, Kara spotted a crowd that had gathered around- what looked like- a stage.

Alex leaned over, "That's where we're headed next. So, go get outta those dirty clothes and meet me there."

"Yes, _ma'am_." She replied, saluting playfully.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara made her way down to the crowd, sun bright and blinding. She was now in a clean button up, suspenders on her shoulders, and flat cap that didn't smell of horse shit- _thankfully_. She spotted Alex waving in her direction, and walked over.

"We have to keep the crowd situated in this one spot, so we'll stand at the back and keep nudgin' them forward. Jimmy's here too."

Kara nodded in understanding, "Okay, I can do that."

She spent the next hour listening to loud shouting and cheers- gently pushing people forward when needed. The crowd was in line to pay for a 'Women's show' and they showed demonstrations of someone breathing fire- it was impressive.

"What's the 'Women's show'?" She asked Alex once their job was done.

The brunette smirked, "You'll find out in half an hour- we're workin' inside. Our job is to keep out any heads that try to peek in without payin'."

Sure enough, half an hour later she was in a small tent, watching the show. It wasn't what she had expected, there was just one woman dancing on stage, with very little clothing. It got worse when she took off her bra and jumped up and down, certain areas jiggling. The woman looked in her direction and winked, resulting in Kara's eyes widening comically, and her face flushing crimson.

Alex was chuckling next to her, about to get a dig in the ribs, when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Jimmy was pointing to some boys head's that were looking beneath the tent from outside.

"Hit them with this." He said, handing her some sort of wooden hammer.

She did, and the head's never appeared again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was later that night, sun down, sky black, and Kara was shovelling more horse shit. Although, this time it was outside- making the smell more manageable. Her back and shoulders aching from all the effort.

Just as she was finishing up, she heard light gallops coming from the small tent next to her. The material fluttered open with the wind, letting her peer through.

And her eyes caught sight of the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen- causing a breath to catch in the back of her throat. Long raven hair flowed down her back in waves, and the palest skin adorned her body. The woman in question, broke her from her thoughts, speaking.

"Thunder." She said, gesturing towards her face.

A black horse walked towards her- with difficulty Kara noted.

"That's it, _good_ boy." The woman praised, patting his nose, but stopped- noticing something. "Are you okay- you're _shaking_." She breathed, worriedly.

Kara could see the horse keeping his weight off of one leg, limping. The other woman seemed to have realised too, rubbing it soothingly.

The blonde gripped the tent and pulled it back, walking through before she could change her mind. As she walked closer to the woman- who's back was facing her- her palms became sweaty and she regretted her short moment of confidence.

She nervously cleared her throat, "Um.. excuse me, ma'am."

The woman spun around startled, facing her with concern, then a look she couldn't identify. She was even more beautiful up close and Kara was momentarily stunned, meeting sparkling emerald eyes. She fiddled with her hands self-consciously, "Do you mind if I take a look?"

In response she moved slightly, giving her room to see, and Kara placed her hand gently on the horse's leg, trying to figure out the problem. But before she could, a whistle blew- signalling the start of the circus.

The woman straightened hastily and called for the horses to follow. She marched away quickly- horses galloping behind- and glanced over her shoulder, locking eyes with the blonde. She broke the gaze abrubtly and continued on her way.

Kara watched her go in a daze, long legs in see-through tights and a tightly fitted pink leotard- sparkling just like her eyes. The blonde was knocked from her thoughts when the woman was no longer in her range of sight, and she picked up her pace, trying to follow. When Kara saw her walk around the main tent, she slipped through the back and sat amongst the cheering crowd- waiting to see her performance.

A spotlight was turned on, showing a man- that looked to be in his thirties- in the middle of the tent. He wore a red suit and black top hat, swinging his cane around as he spoke.

"Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages! Welcome to the most _extravagant extravaganza_ the human eye can behold! Welcome the stars of the Daxam Brothers most _spectacular_ show on Earth!"

Everyone erupted into applause and cheers, waiting in anticipation.

The acts Kara saw that night were like no other- a woman walking on a tight rope, acrobats doing flips from one bar to the next, a dog doing insane tricks- but it didn't matter how amazing they all were.

Nothing compared to _her_.

As soon as she emerged into the tent it was magic, and Kara couldn't take her eyes away. The horses ran around her in circles, listening to the woman's every word as she twirled and flipped so gracefully, holding everyone under her trance- well, Kara anyways. She didn't seem real, the lights making her look otherworldly, and it was over far too soon for the blonde's liking.

She jutted out of the tent at top speed, trying to catch a glimpse of the woman consuming her every thought. But, she was too late- the woman and her horses already gone.

The blonde scuffed her boots against the ground, disappointed, and started her trot back to the train. The sky was dark, filled with thousands of twinkling stars, and the air fresh- unlike the place she was headed. Yet, her mind was still wandering elsewhere. Green eyes, pale skin and long raven hair. Kara pondered the woman's name, listing off every one her mind could think of. _It had to_ _be_ _beautiful_ , she thought, smiling.

When she pulled herself onto the last cart of the train- heavy boots thudding with the movement- Alex, John and Jimmy were huddled on the ground, passing around a bottle of _God_ _knows_ _what_.

"There you are! How'd you like workin' with the animals." John shouted, chuckling.

"Oh, it was _great_." She replied sarcastically.

"Come sit." He said, patting the patch of hay next to him.

She collapsed onto it heavily, "What're yous doing back here?"

"We like the peace and quiet." Alex informed, passing her the bottle.

She took a gulp, immediately feeling the burning sensation in her throat, and spluttered out, " _God_ , what is that!?"

They all laughed- even Jimmy.

"It's the good stuff." Replied John.

Alex interjected, "But, also _cheap_ , so there's more of a burn."

"Well, thanks for the warning." The blonde muttered, trying to clear her throat.

The brunette snorted, taking back the bottle, "You're welcome."

"So, how was your first day of work?" John asked curiously. "You seemed to have survived it rightly."

Kara sighed, throat back to normal. "It was definately harder than I expected- my back and shoulders are killing me from all that shovelling."

"Yeah, mine were like that when I first started too. You should fill a bucket of cold water, soak up a rag, and rub it along the sore muscles." Alex suggested with a shrug. "I used to do it and it helped a lot."

The blonde hummed surprisingly, "I'll be sure to try it out- thanks."

"Kara had a good time today at the 'Women's Show'." Jimmy suddenly said- out of the blue- making Alex double over in a fit of laughter.

"She sure.. did." The brunette managed to gasp out, nudging Kara.

"I don't know what yous are talking about." She stammered, trying to hide her flustered state.

" _Mmmhmm_." Jimmy hummed, playfully winking. Just making Kara redder and Alex louder.

"Right, leave her alone you two." John grunted, interrupting their teasing. "Come on, Kara. I'll take you to get some food and then see Michael."

He staggered to his feet, waving for her to follow.

" _God_ , have fun with him. That man is the definition of a cockroach." Alex muttered as Kara raised to her feet.

She turned to them, saluting buoyantly, "Do widzenia." _Goodbye_.

They nodded their heads in return even though they didn't have a clue what she had said.

"Come on you!" John shouted impatiently from the next cart.

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

Once she was caught up and beside him, she asked, "So, what's up with this Michael guy?"

He let out a breathy chuckle, "Oh, you have _no_ idea."


	2. Welcome to the Circus

After leaving Alex and Jimmy, the train started moving- seemingly packed up and ready to go again. It made Kara feel wobbly and unstable at first, but she soon got the hang of it.

"Here, eat this." John said, handing her a plate of mashed potatoes and beans.

"Thanks- I'm starving." She replied gratefully, taking the food to her bunk, and immediately choking it down with impressive speed.

"You'd better slow down before it all comes back up on you."

"Ugh, I'll be fine."

He raised his hands, "If you say so."

Once she'd finished eating every last drop, John hit her knee, standing.

"Come on, I'll take you to see Michael."

 _"Now-_ but it's the middle of the night." She stated, perplexed, going after him.

They started squeezing their way down the narrow aisle, John in the lead. "It's the only time circus people live- even the boss. But just keep in mind, _everyone's_ below the bosses- don't _ever_ forget that."

People on the top bunks suddenly started hitting Kara on the head as she squeezed past, making her jerk in surprise.

"They're clowns- no one ever gets a safe passage through here."

When they got to the next cart it was far less confined, and women were laying on the bunks fanning themselves. 

"Heya Maggie, sweetheart. How're you?" John asked, up ahead.

 _"Oh,_ I remember you." Someone purred in Kara's ear, and she spun around so quickly she was surprised she didn't get whiplash. "You were at my show." 

"Oh." Kara replied dumbly, trying to back up from her close proximity.

She poked the blonde's chest, continuing her advance with daring eyes and a smirk, opening her mouth to speak again- but John beat her to it.

"Lucy, leave the poor girl alone!" He shouted, dragging Kara away by the arm.

Lucy made a disappointed noise, but shouted, "Goodnight, John."

"Goodnight, ladies." He replied, and Kara released a breath she didn't know she was holding.

They kept working their way up the train, and it was getting fancier by the second. "Now, try not to talk til' you're familiar with the vernacular, or you'll get your head bashed in- like performers aren't performers they're kinkers, but never call them that to their faces."

She squinted her brows, confused. "So what do I call them?"

 _"Performers,_ but just don't talk to them at all- you'll live longer." He slowed down. "Now, be nice and quiet along here, because we have to show some respect to the-" They crossed into the next cart. _"-Ladies and Gentlemen."_

They received some greetings and Kara made sure to nod back respectfully. This cart had luxurious booths, filled with men in suits, smoking and drinking- it was too classy for the blonde's liking. They passed through, continuing on. 

"Hey, John. Who's the woman that works with the horses?"

John turned, shushing her, "That ain't no woman, that's the boss's _wife-_ Lena. She's a star attraction and she don't talk to nobody and you don't talk to her." He stated pointedly.

Kara felt a twist of disappointment in her stomach. _Of course she's married, I wouldn't have had a chance anyway, but I was right- what a beautiful name._

"You know, I've got a son about your age, lives outside Pennsylvania. Haven't seen him in years." He said mournfully, coming to a stop infront of a glass door. "Fix your shirt, there."

Kara let out a breathy chuckle, buttoning it up and flattening it with her palms.

"Before we do this, I gotta ask you- and I don't wanna know your business- but I do know that you ain't been on the road too long. So, before you start, I gotta ask- have you got any kinda life to go back to? Cause if so, that's what you should do." He strongly advised.

Kara shook her head, "I don't."

John grabbed her by the shoulder, "I'm _so_ sorry to hear that." Then cleared his throat, "Now remember, when you meet Michael, let him do the talkin', don't go blowin' your wig and don't _ever_ mention the Krypton Brothers- he hates them bastards." He raised his hand- knocking the door. "Now, this is Otis and he's gonna take you in."

He gestured between them, "Otis this is Kara."

"Nice to meet you, Otis." The blonde said, reaching over to shake his hand firmly.

"Yeah." The deep voice replied. "Follow me."

John gave her a nod, turning to leave, while Otis took her through the door. The first thing she saw inside was a red curtain pulled halfway across the room.

"They're just behind there." He said, practically dragging her around the piece of material.

When Kara was at the other side, she saw a group of men sitting around a circular table playing poker. One man with dark brown hair- who had his back to them- spoke up. "What's this, Otis?"

He straightened, "The stow away that _rummy_ took under his wing- college girl."

The man spoke again, not turning to face her. "I don't believe we had the pleasure."

"Kara Danvers, sir." She responded, feeling nervous all of a sudden.

"So, what am I supposed to do with a Kara Danvers?" He asked.

"I'm just looking for work, sir."

"Ever worked a show?"

"No, sir."

"Ever _seen_ a show?"

"Yes, sir- Krypton Brothers." She winced, noticing what she had said, as Otis nudged her.

Michael froze, slowly turning towards her with an icy stare. "Krypton, _hey."_

"Uh.. yeah- but it was _terrible."_ She released a breath as he turned back around, realising it was the man who wore the top hat during the circus.

"Well, they do try- don't they boys." He smirked smugly, the men around the table laughing.

"Seen our show?" He asked, continuing the poker game.

"Yes, sir." She replied, getting more uneasy.

"Yeah- what's your favourite act?"

She spoke without thinking, "I like the one with the black and white horses."

He looked over his shoulder, smiling. "You've got a good eye- my star attraction." He turned back to the table. "Well, I do believe we're looking for someone to carry water for the elephants- _aren't_ we Ben."

"We don't have any elephants." Ben replied as Michael slapped his arm laughing- the table joining in.

"That would be perfect, I'd _love_ to work with the animals." Kara informed earnestly.

Michael turned around, gesturing for her to come closer. She slowly took a step forward, and he grabbed her wrists, turning her palms face up so he could see- they were cut and blistered from her days work.

"These from one day of work." He asked, quickly dropping her hands and wiping his- a look of disgust appearing.

"Yes, sir."

"Why would a college student dirty her hands as a filthy _roustabout."_

Kara felt herself become defensive, her back straightening and brows furrowing in annoyance. "I guess because out of all that dirt and sweat, working with all these fellers- you wouldn't want to be caught in the daylight with- comes so much _beauty."_

"You grandstanding me, kid." He accused intimidatingly.

She shook her head quickly, "No-no, sir."

"Well, that was beautifully put. Yet, you ride my train, you eat my food- _without_ my permission. While hard-working men labour all day for the same privileges, and these filthy roustabouts are my family, you- _you_ are an intruder." He paused. "Next stop- throw her off." 

Turning back around he quipped, "Probably studied poetry." Making the table errupt with laughter again.

Otis grabbed her by the arm, dragging her towards the door. "I did veterinary science, _not_ poetry." Kara retorted firmly. "And I can tell you one thing, that star attraction horse of yours- it's not going to be walking in a few weeks, let alone _performing!"_

"Otis, _wait!"_ Michael shouted, making him shove her back towards the table. "Veterinary sciences- what school?"

"Cornell."

He raised his brows in surprise, "Your a _Cornell graduate."_

Kara swallowed and nodded, not trusting her voice to sound convincing- she never graduated.

A man at the table spoke up, "She did work the ropes for me earlier on- pretty good."

Another one then said, "She shovelled horse shit all day that don't make her no horse doctor."

She blurted, "I'm sure Krypton has it's own vet."

Michael stood, fixing his blazer. "Cornell, come with me."

He stepped outside the train, the raging sounds filling her ears immediately. She followed him, the force of the wind nearly making her lose balance, as Michael disappeared around the side. He grabbed a hold of the ladder that was attached to the train, making his way to the roof.

Kara turned the corner carefully, not wanting to slip, and reached for the ladder. She climbed her way up, Michael giving her a hand when she reached the top, and when she stood, the wind was even stronger, making her feel like she was flying. He sat down, patting the space beside him.

"It's _incredible!"_ Kara shouted over all the noise, whilst taking a seat. They were speeding past thousands of tree's and big lakes, the stars on full show.

"Takes your breath away, doesn't it?" He turned to her. "My star attraction is limping, and I can't get a new liberty horse mid-season. So, you make sure the horse performs, and the job is yours- nine bucks a week." He clarified. "You do right by me, Cornell, and I'll show you a life most suckers can't even _dream_ of." He smiled, "Come on!"

Michael stood, starting to run up the train, jumping from cart to cart. Kara got up behind him, and couldn't believe what she was about to do.

"I could use an educated person around here- it gets pretty tiring talking to the people on this train!" 

They kept going further up, leaping across the gaps, and Kara felt like she was in a dream. Michael suddenly stopped, "This cart is where your new room'll be!" He informed, already making his way down the ladder.

The blonde got back in one piece- to her surprise- and revelled in the quiet. The loudness of the train had started to give her a headache. 

"Winn, I have a roommate for you." Michael stated, opening a small door, revealing a brown-haired boy sitting on his bed. Kara recognised him as the act that performed with the dog.

"Oh, what is he?" He asked, sounding friendly, a small jack russel laying at his feet.

 _"She-_ and this is the shows new vet. Ivy league no less, which puts her a good deal higher than you. Perhaps you would like to offer her your cot." The boss said pointedly, leaving. "I'll find you in the morning to see about that horse, Cornell." Shutting the door on his way out.

She stood awkwardly for a moment, before introducing herself, "I'm Kara Danvers." 

"Nice to meet you, Winn Schott." He responded, shaking her hand.

"I thought your performance was amazing, I'd never seen a dog do anything like that before." She praised, reaching down to pet the animal, but it barked loudly, making her jump back in surprise.

He chuckled, "He'll get used to you eventually- just weary around new people. But, thank you." He got up, gesturing for her to sit.

"Oh no. I'm not taking your bed, the boss was just joking- right?"

He gave her a tight lipped smile. "I'm afraid not, he's not really the jokster type."

"Well- I don't care. I'm not taking your bed." She said with finality.

He appeared to be shocked, "Thank you, Kara."

She smiled, settling herself on the other bed along the opposite wall.

"So, how'd you manage to get from college to _here."_ Winn asked curiously.

She sighed, "It's a _long_ story."

"Well, we have plenty of time, roomie."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By noon the following day, they were stopped again, taking a break to feed the animals and head into the nearest town. When Kara awoke in her new bed, her shoulders were even worse than the day before, and she made a mental note to try Alex's method when she got the chance.

When she emerged from the train, Michael was already out waiting. "There you are- ready to check the horse? My wife is with him now."

"Of course." She replied, fixing her shirt- not for anyone in particular.

They made their way down the train, heading to the horse's carts. When they were near, Kara caught a glimpse of raven hair- her heart leaping. Lena emerged from the train with the horse, looking just as beautiful as the blonde remembered.

"Darling, may I introduce to you-" He patted her shoulder expectantly.

She stammered slightly, "Uhh.. Kara Danvers."

"Kara Danvers, Daxam Brothers _very own_ ivy league veterinarian." He bragged.

Lena looked up, eyes piercing into her own. _"She's_ the vet?"

"Yep, studied at _Cornell_ university." Michael replied, patting her again, knocking her from the gaze. Lena let her eyes wander up the blonde and stepped aside.

"The right front hoof." He directed, as Kara crouched lifting it up.

"It's an abscess." Lena jutted.

 _"Darling."_ Michael chastised, shaking his head.

Kara looked at the hoof with furrowed brows, releasing a saddened breath. A small, swollen, red lump- that looked to be very deep- stared back.

"It didn't look this bad at the show. Do you need a hoof tester?" Asked Michael.

"No, I don't think so." She replied, somberly.

"It needs heat and cold until it breaks, then a salt wrap- it'll be _fine."_ Lena informed, not knowing who she was trying to convince. "Come on, boy." She directed, taking him back onto the train.

As soon as Lena was out of sight, Michael turned to her expectantly, _"Well?"_

She sighed disheartingly, "I didn't want to say anything in front of Mrs Daxam, but the horse has laminitis."

"English." He demanded.

"The connective tissue between the hoof and coffin bone has been compromised." She explained using her hands- whilst trying to keep her voice down. "So, when he walks the coffin bone rotates towards the sole of the hoof- until it punctures through."

"But it hasn't punctured yet?"

"No, it hasn't, but it's just a matter of time, and he's in a lot of pain."

"How much time?"

Kara grimaced, "Two- three days... He needs to be put down."

Michael appeared surprised, "And you know all this just by _looking_ at it- is there nothing you can do?"

The blonde shook her head, "No, it's pretty severe... I'm sorry."

"No, I appreciate it." He replied, swallowing thickly.

They both spun toward the cart, hearing footsteps. It was Lena making her way back off the train, and Michael immediatly started speaking, "Oh darling, Cornell agrees with you here- there's nothing really to worry about." Kara glanced towards him with confusion, uncertainty showing in the crease of her brows.

"Morgan, tell Jack to help Lena." Michael instructed the man, making his way off the train, next to his wife.

"Jack's going to feed the cats." He replied.

Michael turned to Kara, "No, we'll do that. You just take care of him- come on." He said, hitting her upper arm.

They made their way further down the train, towards the lion cages. Michael handed her a bucket of scrap meat with a whirlwind of flies buzzing around, and a stench that made her want to puke. 

"They get a bucket each." He said, a lion roaring behind, making the blonde jump- she tried playing it off.

She examined the meat with squinted brows, concerned. "Do they like this stuff- it's gone bad."

 _"No."_ He chuckled. "They like goats, but we're all out of goats." He pointed towards one of the carts, "Why don't you start with Bruce here in the middle."

She glanced at the animal wearily, "Do I just open the door and toss it in?"

He shrugged, "Unless you think a formal sit down is more appropriate."

Kara scoffed and slowly made her way over- her sore shoulders tense. The lion growled, making her flinch.

"Slow and quiet. He won't notice your there." Michael reassured.

The lion stared at her as she released a quickened breath and raised her hand, trying to work up the courage to open the cage. He roared again, making the blonde pull her hand back with a speed she didn't know she even possessed.

"Didn't they cover this in class? Place it in gently- _don't_ throw it, you don't want to startle him."

She eased the cage up and placed the bucket in gently, but the lion had her hand in it's mouth in a flash. She yelled out, pulling back instantly, and falling off the cart in the process. Kara landed on her back with a thud, groaning and quickly checking her hand with growing panic, but was filled with relief when she saw it was still attatched to her body.

Michael was laughing uncontrollably, making the blonde irritated. "You think that's _funny!"_ She shouted up to him, still on her back.

He placed his hands on his knees, peering down at her whilst chuckling. "Yes, I do."

"I could've lost my _arm!"_

"No, you couldn't have- he doesn't have any teeth!" Michael exclaimed between chuckles.

Kara rolled her eyes and released a deep breath, letting her head hit the ground, as Michael jumped down from the cart. 

"Does it hurt?" He asked offering his hand, which she took gratefully. But, before she could stand he suddenly twisted her arm, holding it in an armlock. "Like _this."_

Her eyes widened in shock as her back hit the ground again, and she grunted out in pain.

Michael's voice went threatingly low, "You're gut tells you to _shoot_ my star attraction... no treatment, no hoof testers- just your Cornell _gut._ You know how a circus survives? You said it yourself, kid- in blood, sweat, pain and _shit."_ He took in a deep, angry breath, nostrils flaring. "When a circus begins to die and animals eat garbage, you know what they need- _nothing._ You're heart goes out to an animal's suffering, we'll that's noble and that's good, but all that tells me is you've never saw _men_ suffer."

He pulled her to her feet abrubtly, and started smoothening out her collar. "So, before I get back from town, you do whatever it is they told you in that ivy league _sandbox,_ and get that horse ready for the parade." He warned, slapping her shoulders- she tried holding back a wince. 

"As long as we can walk- we play." He turned swiftly on his heels, leaving the blonde in shock and breathing heavily. Thoughts running a mile a minute.

Kara rubbed her aching arm and started walking towards the cart she suspected the injured horse would be, anger flowing through her veins at the thought of Michael not caring about the animal at all. 

When she peered into the cart, she wasn't expecting to see Lena on her knees, caressing the injured horse. It was laying on it's side, stretched along the ground of the train, receiving the performer's words of comfort.

"It's okay, baby." She whispered soothingly, and all of a sudden Kara couldn't speak. Her tense shoulders relaxed and her anger dissipated.

Lena raised her head, locking eyes with the blonde, hearing her heavy footsteps.

"It's not an abscess- is it?" She asked, dejected.

Kara shook her head apologetically and cleared her throat. "He's got a founder."

Lena cast her now glassy eyes to the horse, continuing to stroke him lovingly. "I should've taken him out of the show." She whispered, sniffing.

"It's not your fault- it happens." Kara reassured softly. "It's not uncommon... but he's suffering... and the pain's only going to get worse. The right thing to do would be to put him down."

Lena sniffed again, "That's not going to happen- is it?"

The blonde scrunched her brows as Lena continued, "Not when Michael can get a few more shows out of him. Round here everyone works until they're run into the _ground._ Nobody _stops,_ nobody _dies_ until Michael says so."

Kara inhaled sharply, making a rash decision as her anger resurfaced, and she turned, hearing Lena's soft coos behind. She stomped her way to the next cart determinedly, knowing a pistol was stored there, and grabbed it, checking to see if it was loaded. It was, so she held it close to her trouser leg and strode back to where Lena and the horse lay.

When she appeared again Lena looked up in shock and understanding, catching sight of the gun. Kara crouched beside the horse's head, stroking him comfortingly- a lump forming in her throat at what she was about to do.

"What about Michael?" Lena asked worriedly. 

Kara caught her gaze, "I'm the vet- it's _my_ decision."

"It'll be your last one." She stated.

Kara sighed, "Listen, you should go. I don't want you seeing this."

"No- I'll stay." Lena breathed shakily. "I'll keep him calm."

She turned to the animal. "Good boy." She whispered, and started to sing. The blonde didn't think she'd ever heard a more beautiful voice, it's what she'd imgine the voice of an angel to sound like. "Hush little baby don't you cry.."

Lena continued as Kara raised the pistol to the horse's head- a slight tremble to her hand. She put her finger on the trigger, whilst closing her eyes and taking in a deep, shaky breath.

She pulled it. 

The echoing bang made Lena's whole body jump and she immediatly lowered her head, letting her tears fall. Kara wanted to _so desperately_ comfort her, but held back. Lena quickly wiped them away, sniffing.

"Are you alright?" Kara asked timidly.

Lena gave her a small smile, trying to catch her breath. "I'll be alright." She reassured, voice trembling, and gazing at the blonde softly.

Kara rose to her feet, gun still clutched in hand, when Lena spoke again. "Miss Danvers." She breathed, making Kara meet her stare. "I'll be sorry to see you go."

The blonde smiled sadly, slowly walking off the train.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was later that day, the train was on the move again, and Kara was filling up barrels of hay. Winn was next to her practising his act, the dog spinning and jumping. She smiled, amazed, but he suddenly became tense and quickly spun in the opposite direction, making his way to the next cart- dog in his arms. 

Kara frowned in confusion and before she could ask, she was being grabbed and lifted from behind. Two men held her over the edge of the train, an arm and leg in each hand, the strong wind hitting the back of her neck. Michael appeared between the two of them.

"This circus, _my_ circus- is a sover nation. You break my law you have to pay a penalty. I tell you to fix the horse, you _shoot_ it- that's breaking my law, so penalty is red lighting. You need to get off the train, except we don't _stop_ the train. There's a chance you might survive, although unlikely."

She tried shouting over all the noise, "Mr Daxam.. just _let_ me explain.. I-"

 _"No-_ no need." He interjected. "You took initiative, I respect that, but I'm a law biding man- toss her!" He shouted, lifting his hands in a shrug.

The men started swinging her from side to side, chanting, "ONE... TWO-"

"NO, WAIT!"

 _'THREE!"_ But, instead of swinging her outside they let go of her on the inside, causing her back to hit the wall. She landed in the pile of hay beside Michael.

"The only reason you're not a permanent part of this landscape right now is because you probably saved my Lena from injury, and you solved a great problem for me. You saw what we fed the cats, wasn't right- was _it?_ Now because of you, Thunder will make sure the cats eat good, _fresh_ meat until we can sell some tickets. But, you killed my star act, so if we don't sell tickets and the men aren't payed, they're going to be looking for someone to _blame."_ He hit her shoulder, "Welcome to the circus, Cornell."

They left, leaving her gasping for air amongst the hay, and as she lay on the ground trying to slow her hammering heart and quickened breaths, Winn came rushing in, his dog running over to sniff the blonde.

"Kara, are you okay? _God,_ I'm sorry for leaving, I just got scared. I know what they do to people." 

"Winn, it's _fine-_ I'm fine." She assured, leaning her back against the wall.

 _"No,_ I should've _helped._ I should've-"

"Winn, it's fine- honestly. They could've _killed_ you."

He slowly slipped to the ground beside her, "They almost killed you."

She sighed, "Yeah, but somehow they didn't."

"What did you even do?" He asked, confused.

"I killed the star horse."

_"WHAT!"_

"He had laminitus."

Winn gave her a _what the hell is that_ look.

"He was suffering and in an immense amount of pain. I wasn't going to let Michael push him to perform- it would have been _unbearable."_

The brown-haired boy smiled gently, touching her bicep. "You're a really good person, Kara. This circus is lucky to have you."

She ducked her head, shrugging. "I don't know.. but, thank you.. for being here. It's been a rough day."

Winn nodded in understanding, and they sat in comfortable silence for the next hour, watching the world go by.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the middle of the night, but Kara couldn't sleep- the events of the day keeping her up. She had tossed and turned for the past hour, eventually giving up, and deciding to go and take Alex's advise on easing the ache in her shoulders.

She tried being quiet getting out of bed, Winn sleeping not too far from her, and slipped out the small door gently.

The blonde wandered down the dark train, not knowing where to even find a bucket and rag, but thought her best bet would be the horses cart. So, she made her way down, lantern in hand and footsteps silent.

When she arrived, an orange glow already lit up the cart, and she panicked for a moment assuming it was Michael. But, it was in fact Lena who raised her head, shocking her. 

"What are you doing here?" Kara asked hesitantly.

"I could ask _you_ the same thing."

Kara chuckled lightly, "I'm just looking for a bucket of water and a rag. I come in peace."

 _"Why?"_ Lena asked, her nose scrunching adorably.

"My friend recommended that I put cold water on my sore shoulders- apparently it helps." She shrugged, as the performer gave her a questioning look.

"It's from all the shovelling."

Realisation crossed Lena's face, "Oh, well I do actually have what you need." She got up and walked towards the cupboard opposite her, taking out a clean rag, and handing it to the blonde.

Their hands touched slightly and Kara immediately felt a spark of electricity shoot it's way up her arm, straight to her heart. Lena pulled back like she'd been shocked, and pointed to something in the far corner, trying to compose herself. "A bucket of water is back there."

Kara felt the warmth of her touch disappear, replaced by the cold air of the cart, and made her way over to the bucket to stop herself from reaching out again. She sat down on a small wooden stool and soaked up the rag in cold water. 

Lena watched with peeked interest as the woman struggled to reach her shoulders- groaning in pain everytime she tried lifting her arm- and her mouth was moving before she could stop it. "Would you like some help?" She asked, scolding herself internally.

Kara glanced at her over her shoulder, looking shy and uncertain. _"Maybe."_

The performer chuckled, taking the rag from her hand and moving to stand behind the blonde. She swallowed, gently lifting the strap of Kara's tank top, and slipping the rag along with her hand under. She tenderly rubbed over the inflamed muscles- muscles that moved and rippled- suddenly making her mouth dry. 

Her cheeks flushed light pink as she tried focusing on the task at hand, ridding any inappropriate thoughts, but the broad shoulders paired with the little groans of approval weren't helping at all.

"That feels _great."_ Kara praised, making Lena's blush spread down to her chest. _Get it together, it's only a pair of shoulders._

She continued along the exposed skin, reaching her neck and gently moving the blonde ponytail to the side. Then switched hands, doing the other shoulder.

"Listen, I heard what happened today. And I... I want to apologize-"

Kara spun around immediately, making Lena's hand fall uselessly to her side. She tilted her head up to the standing woman- blue meeting green.

"You don't have to apologize for _anything."_ Kara stated firmly. "It was _my_ decision to put down the horse and I knew there'd be consequences- even though I didn't think they'd be as drastic as 'getting thrown off the moving train'."

"I'm just.. I'm glad you're okay." The performer whispered sincerely, breaking their intense gaze.

Kara smiled, clearing her throat. "For a second I really thought I was a goner."

Lena looked away, distracted- feeling angry and responsible for Michael's actions. But, the blonde seemed to notice, and slowly raised her hand to rest over the performer's. The sparks happening again, making their hearts thump harder.

"You can't blame yourself for this. It's _not_ your fault." Kara urged, letting her thumb graze over the soft hand before pulling back.

Lena sighed, letting her shoulders slump. "Thank you." She breathed, slightly inching further between Kara's open legs.

She hesitantly layed one of her hands on the side of the blonde's neck, and raised the rag with the other. "Now, let me get back to helping."

"No, it's quite alright- you've already helped me enough." Kara assured, flushing at the feeling of her burning touch, sending a wave of goosebumps down her body.

"No, I _insist."_ Lena responded determinedly, dabbing the rag on the other side of her neck, soothing the muscles there. She suddenly raised it to her cheek, smiling when Kara gave her an odd look. "You just had a bit of dirt."

 _"God,_ this whole time!?"

Lena let out a small giggle, and Kara wanted to hear the sound everyday, for the rest of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Ruby

Kara opened the door to her room quietly, shoulders soothed and smile bright.

"Where have you been?" 

The sudden noise made the blonde jump in surprise, and she caught sight of Winn rubbing his eyes, sitting up in bed.

"Umm... out. I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk."

He squinted disbelievingly, "You went for a walk. In a _train._ In the _dark"_

"Yep." Came her quick response.

He sighed, waving her off, "Okay, if you say so. Just try to get some sleep, we should be stopping again soon."

She fell onto her bed, another big smile creeping it's way onto her face.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked, brows furrowed.

Kara schooled her expression immediately. "I'm not."

"I _just_ saw you."

"You saw wrong."

Winn rolled his eyes, sitting up again. "Did you happen to bump into anybody in _particular_ while you were on your _walk."_

 _"What!?_ Where did you get that idea from?"

"Uhh.. maybe the gigantic grin you just had on your face after nearly getting _killed_ today!" He exclaimed, looking at her pointedly.

She finally broke under his scrutinizing gaze, "Ugh, _fine!_ I saw Lena."

 _"Excuse_ me. This better not be the Lena I'm thinking of."

"Well, is there another person called Lena on this train!"

 _"No!_ Which means your talking about Lena- the boss's _wife_ Lena."

 _"God,_ don't you think I know that!" She threw her hands up, exasperated. "What's so wrong- I only spoke to her."

He scoffed sarcastically, "Yeah, well tell that to your face."

She crossed her arms, huffing silently like a petulant child, but eventually sighed, "Okay, maybe.. _maybe_ I like her, but nothing's ever going to actually _happen."_ The blonde whispered sheepishly, expecting a look of disgust at her admission, but was surprised.

Winn's eyes sofened, and he made his way over, sitting next to her. "You need to be careful Kara, this is _very_ dangerous- imagine what Michael would do if he found out you were wooing his wife. It's just going to lead to disaster and a broken heart- or neck. So, my advise would be to stay away, it'll be better off for everyone involved."

Kara let her shoulders sag, "I know, I know. I just... I get the feeling she's not happy.. and it upsets me because.. she deserves _so_ much more than that stuck-up _jackass."_

He chuckled, "You're not wrong there."

She turned to him with uncertainty, "So, your okay with me liking her- like _that."_

He touched her shoulder reassuringly, "Of _course._ Why wouldn't I? I don't get the people who _aren't_ okay with it- the people like Michael who think the whole world revolves around them."

Kara laughed, relieved. "That's so true." She opened her arms, "Come here."

Winn leaped into her embrace happily, wrapping his arms around her now relaxed shoulders.

"Thank you." She breathed into his neck.

"Ugh, there's no need- I'll always be here if you need to talk. But, don't be going off and telling anyone else about your growing affection for Lena- word travels quickly round here."

Kara pulled back, raising her eyebrows. "I'm not new to this- I have been this way my entire life. I know most people aren't as accepting as you are, so I keep to myself- if I didn't, I'd most likely be thrown off the train."

Winn gave her a sad look, "You shouldn't have to hide yourself- it's not right." He tried smiling optimistically, "One day you'll be able to show it to the whole world."

Kara laughed light heartedly, "Maybe.. maybe one day."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple of days had passed since her encounter with Lena, and she could still feel the ghost of her touch on the side of her neck. She hadn't gotten another opportunity to see her, which left the blonde disappointed, but she tried pushing the feeling down, knowing she had to stay away.

"Hey, Kara!"

She lifted her head towards the sound, catching sight of Alex and Jimmy.

"Haven't seen you in awhile. How's life as a vet?"

The blonde scoffed, "Not much different. How've yous been- I was actually going to go down to your drinking cart tonight, see if you'd be there."

"We're _always_ there." 

Kara chuckled lightly, nodding towards the bottle in the brunette's hand. "I can see you're still on it." 

"Of course- not much else to do round here." Alex plunked herself down on the barrel beside her, Jimmy just stood awkwardly. "Listen, we were wonderin' if you'd like to go down to the local bar with us tomorrow night. The train will be at the next stop shortly, and we'll be there for a few days."

Kara pondered the idea, happy that they'd considered her. "Sure, sounds like fun. Would it be alright if I brought my roommate?"

Alex shrugged nonchalantly, "You can bring whoever you want- as long as they're not a dickhead."

Kara shook her head quickly, "Oh, no- he's quite the opposite."

Alex smiled, "Good, it'll help loosen you up after everythin' that's happened the past few days." She said knowingly. "But, just remember you're welcome down at our side of the train anytime- we're here for you."

Kara nodded in thanks. "I'll catch up with yous tomorrow."

Alex touched her arm, getting to her feet. "We'll probably head out round dinner time- meet us outside the train."

"Sure thing!" She shouted to their retreating forms, feeling the ground beneath her come to a slow stop. The bells of the train rang loudly, indicating they'd arrived.

Kara slid the cart door open with little effort, raising her arm to cover blue eyes from the blindingly bright sun. She jumped down, feeling her heavy boots sink into the grass below, and inhaled the fresh air of a summers day.

 _"Kara,_ just the woman I was looking for!" Shouted Michael, filling the blonde with unease. "We're heading into town- I've got a surprise for everyone!" He exclaimed excitedly, much different from their last encounter- when she was half hanging out the train.

She spun in his direction, instantly catching sight of the woman who'd been constantly on her mind. It felt like there was a magnetic pull, causing their eyes to connect everytime they were near.

Lena was standing behind Michael, eyelashes fluttering against the harsh sunlight, and hair blowing with the slight breeze- so beautiful she made Kara's heart beat painfully in her chest.

"Come on, we're taking the horse and carriage." He informed, waiting on the men to remove it from the train, and helping Lena up first.

 _This is going to be an awkward ride,_ she thought, squeezing inside and taking the seat opposite Lena, their knees brushing.

Lena peered at her through her long lashes, piercing green showing behind, and gave her a small smile. Kara nearly choked from inhaling so sharply, but managed to keep herself in check, returning her own shy one.

Michael broke their moment with his loud, abnoxious voice, as the carriage started moving. "I hope you've settled in alright, Cornell."

She flicked her eyes over to the man, clearing her dry throat. "Yes, everyone has been very welcoming." She replied, intentionally locking eyes with the performer.

Lena ducked her head, a light pink rising in her cheeks, with memories of the other night flooding back- tanned shoulders and wet muscles.

Michael, clueless to their unspoken communication, continued, "That's good. We don't have far to go, I just wanted to take a short ride in the carriage. We haven't been out in it for _ages-_ have we darling?" He asked Lena, turning to kiss her cheek, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Kara looked down uncomfortably, her body moving with a particular hard bump in the road, staying quiet.

"What is it we're doing exactly?" Lena asked curiously, as the carriage slowed, horses coming to a stop.

"All will be revealed shortly." He clarified, opening the door and stepping down. He made his way to the back of the carriage, lifting something out.

Kara followed, but turned to Lena, offering her hand. She took it gratefully, murmuring a soft _thank you,_ as she exited the carriage. The blonde's breath hitched at feeling the smooth, pale skin of her hand against her own- so delicate.

Michael re-emerged with a bottle of champagne, handing them both empty glasses. "Follow me."

They crossed a dusty path over to a grassy area, where a few members from the train had already gathered in front of a tall, dark green double door- proving the carriage was completely unnecessary. Michael spun around excitedly, popping the bottle of champagne and shouting at one of the men to pour it for everyone.

"I want you all to experience the _earthquake_ impact of what I'm about to show you. I've made an acquisition that will make Daxam Brothers a _top_ draw tour!" He made his way over to Lena, hands on her shoulders. "Darling, I know I could never _truly_ replace Thunder for you, but I hope you'll give me a chance to try."

"Oh, Michael- you didn't need to do that." She replied, as he threw his arm around her.

"Jack- the doors." Michael ordered, gesturing towards them.

Two men slowly slid the doors open, revealing a breathtaking, fully-grown elephant. It's big ears flapping, and long trump swaying. Kara stared in awe at the massive animal, neck craning upwards to see.

"Children, meet our _salvation!_ We got ourselves a _guaranteed_ sell-out, crowd cheering bull! Her name's Ruby, she's fifty-three and she's _brilliant."_

Kara released a chuckle in disbelief, as the elephant made a little noise.

Michael continued proudly, "I'm going to come up with a whole new star act around you and her."

Lena turned to him abrubtly, "Darling, I'm not getting up on that- I've never ridden an elephant in my _life."_

He patted her shoulder reassuringly, "You didn't know how to stand up on a galloping horse until I showed you- you're a fast learner. This act will go through the _roof."_

An important looking man approached him, leaning in. "Where the _hell_ are we gonna put it?"

"We'll make room." He retorted, lowering his voice.

"How're we gonna _pay_ for it?"

"Well, I won't pay the men for a few weeks- we've done it before. Once we start selling-out, the men will have more cash than they know what do with. She's gonna pack it in- I _know_ it."

A scruffy man with a dirty face and flat cap stepped forward. "You the bullman?"

"No, he's my menagerie man." Michael replied.

"You ain't got no bullman I gotta tell the township- or else I can't sell it to you."

Kara stepped forward hesitantly, "I-I'm the bullman."

He gave her an odd look, "That allowed?"

"Of _course_ it's allowed." She replied, irritated. 

"Alright then, you should've spoken up- I ain't got all day." He leaned in close. "You see this animal, this here is the stupidest _goddam_ animal on the face of God's _good_ Earth. Here's your bullhook- you're gonna need it." He said, handing her a pole with a sharp end. "Well, good luck to you. If I ever see another _dumb_ bull in my life it'll be _too_ soon."

Just as the words left the man's mouth, Ruby raised her trunk, water shooting from it and drenching him from head to toe. Everyone flinched, trying to dodge the spray of liquid.

Kara let out a loud laugh as Lena gasped in shock and amusement, making the man stomp away, unimpressed.

Michael straightened, "Cornell, give her a once over. Darling, get acquainted- you two are gonna make _history."_ He proclaimed, walking away, all the men following suite.

Kara excitedly made her way over to the elephant- Lena not so excitedly. She leant against the side of the green door, with her glass of champagne, facing the blonde.

"I think he's lost his mind. Do you have any idea how hard it is to break in a new act."

Kara glanced at her, about to speak, but was interrupted. Ruby rose her trunk up to the blonde's face and she laughed in joy, taking it in her hand. Lena stared at the interaction fondly, an unfamiliar warmth blooming in her chest. 

"My name is Kara Danvers, and this is-" She turned to Lena expectantly, causing her to offer her hand to the animal. Ruby surprisingly took it, making them both laugh in disbelief, as Kara continued, "This is Lena Daxam."

She touched the space in-between the elephants eyes, rubbing it affectionately. "You're a beauty." She breathed, whilst also holding a glass of champagne- that dissappered suddenly. 

Ruby tipped it towards her, sucking all the liquid into her trunk in an instance, making them both laugh again. She moved it to her mouth, drinking it.

"Oh _great,_ just what we need around here- another _lush."_ Lena expressed, teasingly.

Ruby raised her trunk back up to Kara's head, patting it gently. "Oh, you're welcome." The blonde chuckled light heartedly, as she then moved it to rest along her chest.

Lena watched, eyes crinkling at the edges from smiling, as music started playing in the distance, making the elephant sway. 

"I think she likes music." The performer mused, moving beside Kara to touch the animal. "It is a _lovely_ song."

"I'm confessing that I love you."

Lena made a noise of surprise, looking up at her with widened eyes.

Kara stammered, face flushing, _"No.._ ah.. i-it's the name of the song."

Realisation showed on the performer's face, as she released a deep breath, laughing nervously, "Oh right- of course. Louis Armstrong." 

Kara nodded, fidgeting with her hands apprehensively.

"Well, I guess now's as good a time as any- right _bullman."_ Lena smiled playfully, making her way over to a ladder sitting against the wall. "Can you help me with this?" She asked, lifting it to rest against Ruby's side.

"Of course." Kara replied, walking around quickly, and holding the ladder steady as Lena climbed up.

"Michael once dropped me into the middle of this monkey act- the _meanest_ monkeys you've ever met. They were biting me during the entire performance, and I had to just smile and act like it was part of the act." She explained, reaching the top and swinging her leg over the large animal. "Oh gosh- good _grief."_

She looked at the ground anxiously, not used to the height, but swallowed down her fear, scooting towards Ruby's head slowly. "Well, I think it's very important to form an offstage relationship." She expressed, putting her hands on her hips, and lifting her chin. "How do I look- silly right?"

Kara raised her head, smiling timidly. "No.. you two were made for each other."

Lena lowered her gaze, stroking the elephants head, "She really is beautiful." 

She peered down at the blonde- almost lying flat across the animals back- head resting on her hands, watching Kara endearingly as she held Ruby's trunk with care. They caught eyes again, gazes soft and smiles shy.

"Come on, Lena- we're leaving! They need to move Ruby back to the train!" Shouted Michael. "Kara would you be alright to help them- since your the _bullman."_

"Of course, sir. As long as your okay with me doing it- I didn't mean to give myself that role."

"Oh, no, no- it's _fine._ It'll not be the same as a man doing the job, but I'm sure you can handle it." He assured, waking back towards the carriage.

Kara clenched her fists, nails digging into her already cut palms, and her brows creased in annoyance.

 _"Hey."_ Lena murmured gently, head still resting on top of the elephant's, noticing her tense posture.

The blonde turned, fists unclenching at the sight.

"You'll be amazing- better than _any_ man who would've done the job."

Kara looked taken aback, "Thank you." She smiled, releasing the tension in her shoulders. "Now, let's get you down from there."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time they got Ruby back to the train it was dark, and Kara was exhausted- the little sleep from the night before letting itself known. Her mucky clothes stuck to her warm body, and her boots felt heavier than usual, so when she reached her room, she sighed in relief, practically falling through the door.

 _"Jesus!"_ Winn exclaimed, hand on heart.

She smiled sheepishly, "Sorry."

He waved her off as she spotted an envelope on her pillow. "Who's this from?"

"No idea. It was already there when I got here."

She hummed curiously, opening it up, observing the eloquent cursive writing. 

_Mr and Mrs Daxam request the pleasure of your company for cocktails and supper._

She furrowed her brows, _That's weird._

"Well?" Winn asked, expectantly.

"Oh.. umm, Michael and Lena invited me for cocktails and supper." She replied, sounding confused.

"That's odd- and gonna be awkward."

"Yeah- thanks for the reminder." She rubbed her temples. "I also might've made myself a bullman today."

"What?!"

Kara winced, "Yeah- I didn't mean too. It was a quick and rash decision to keep the new act."

"The things you get yourself into." He muttered, shaking his head like a disapproving parent. "Just so you know, you can't arrive to their cart dressed like _that."_

"Well, I don't have anything _fancy-_ I shovel shit for a living now!"

Winn chuckled in amusement, "I can lend you a waistcoat, just try to find a clean button-up."

"Alright."

Once she had slipped on a white shirt with _no_ stains, Winn handed her a dark maroon- almost brown- waistcoat, buttoning it up.

"There- _mighty fine._ Maybe the waistcoat was a bad decision, you're giving Michael a run for his money."

"I doubt it."

He rolled his eyes, "Now, don't you be giving them eyes to Lena tonight. We don't want Michael figuring out about your secret _admiration."_

She sighed, "I know, but it's kinda hard."

"Well, you'll have to get it together, because it'll be worse tonight- she'll be wearing something _fancy."_ He teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

She shoved him lightly, as he laughed. "Really though, don't stare. I want you on this train for the long run- no getting thrown off."

"I'll try my best." She said jokingly, exiting their room.

"You better!" Shouted Winn, his voice muffled by the closed door.

Kara made her way down to the boss's cart, palms clammy and stomach in knots, not knowing what to expect. She approached the glass door, taking a deep breath, and knocking gently.

A soft _come in_ came in response, and she slowly etched it open, being greeted with a dangerous amount of exposed alabaster skin. The blonde's throat went dry, suddenly forgetting how to breathe, as she took in Lena's completely bare back, eyes wandering, yet trying not to stare at the same time- Winn's stern voice in her head- but it was merely impossible. She wanted to reach out and trace the delicate curve of her spine.

Luckily, before her thoughts could go any further, Lena spun around, revealing her deep maroon dress that hugged her curves perfectly- collarbones on full show.

 _"Kara,_ I'm so glad you could come and celebrate our new, beautiful elephant." She expressed happily, a bright smile on her lips. Lips that were also deep maroon.

 _God help me,_ Kara thought, as she hovered in the door frame with uncertainty, trying to calm her racing heart at seeing the new smooth skin of her shoulders. She chuckled nervously.

"Is something wrong?" Lena asked, straighting, her brows creasing with worry.

"Oh- uhh.. I-I feel a little.. under-dressed." She stammered, trying to clear her dry throat.

Lena let her eyes roam down Kara's body, trying to cover her sharp intake of breath. She looked up through her dark lashes, "No, I.. I think it's perfe-"

 _"Nonsense!"_ Michael interrupted, emerging into the room, fiddling with his bow tie. "I told you, nothing but the best for our _very own_ Cornell graduate vet, which those Krypton bastards do _not_ have- I checked."

He opened a set of red curtains, revealing their bed, and what seemed to be a _very_ expensive blue dress laying on it.

_"Volia!"_

Kara immediatly felt dread form in the pit of her stomach, making her swallow nervously. "I'm sorry.. I know that was probably really expensive.. but I don't wear dresses."

Michael scrunched his face up in confusion, "What do you mean, you're a woman- aren't you?"

 _"Yes,_ but I just think they're uncomfortable, so I don't wear them. I'm sorry again, I can try and give you the money-"

Lena interjected politely, "No, that won't be a problem." She turned to Michael expectantly, "You can let her borrow one if your tuxedos- right?"

His eyes widened in shock, _"What?!"_

Lena caught his gaze and he sighed, nostrils flaring. "She'll not fit into one of mine- it'll be too big."

"No, it won't be, you're the same height."

He looked offended, but moved his gaze to Kara, raising his chin slightly- ego bruised.

"Fine, there's a new one hanging up in the room. Go and change."

Kara smiled gratefully, moving past the pair.

"Will you help me with this?" He asked, showing his bow tie to Lena.

"Of course."

Kara spotted the black tux and closed the red curtains, starting to undress. _So much for Winn's waistcoat,_ she thought, letting it fall off her shoulders.

When she slipped on the new white shirt, it felt unbelievably soft and very expensive, like nothing she'd ever worn before. It was so fancy, the buttons clipped together, and she tucked it into her trousers neatly.

Then it came to the bow tie- that she didn't have a clue how to do. She hadn't thought that far ahead, and didn't want to ask for help now, too embarrassed. So, she started pacing in the tiny room, trying to think of something- _anything._ But didn't realise how long she'd been pacing for.

"Are you alright in there?" Lena's soft voice asked from behind the curtain, putting the blonde out of her misery.

"No."

Kara heard her release a small chuckle, "Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

The curtain slowly opened, and Lena stepped in, closing them again. She looked up seeing Kara's troubled expression and the undone bow tie around her neck, putting two and two together. She let out an amused laugh.

"Well, I'm glad someone finds this funny." Kara joked, her face flushing and worry dissipating.

Lena raised her hand to cover her giggles, "I'm sorry, I just.. this wasn't what I was expecting. Why didn't you ask for help sooner?"

"Well, it's embarrassing. Now, it's even worse."

Lena's gaze softened, "Come here." She murmured, lifting her hands.

Kara stepped forward, Lena's strong perfume filling her senses, as the performer gripped the black piece of material on both sides of the blonde's neck, breath hitching at their close proximity. Kara watched her intently, heart thrumming with the closeness, and focused on her moving hands- _not_ her dark lips. 

Lena glanced up, meeting the bluest eyes she'd ever seen, filled with so much warmth, causing a swarm of butterflies to errupt in her stomach. She broke the intense gaze, trying to continue knotting the smooth material.

The blonde stayed silent, hands hanging loosely by her sides, worried that if she moved a muscle the moment would be broken.

 _"There."_ Lena breathed, smoothening down Kara's collar and resting her hands just below it, feeling the blondes beating heart. 

"Thank you." Kara whispered back, catching sight of the beautiful emeralds surrounded by dark lashes, making them stand-out more than usual. 

She was in awe of this woman.

"Do you want to put on your suit jacket?" Lena asked, breaking the sudden tension in the small, _very_ warm room.

Kara cleared her throat, reluctantly stepping back to grab the black jacket and slip it on. "How do I look?"

Lena stared, pupils darkening as she took in the sight, making Kara feel more self-conscious the longer she stayed silent.

"Perfect."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After her mini-crisis, they made their way into the next room, where a white round table sat in the centre, a candle in the middle. Michael was already sat smoking a cigar, and ordering around the waiter as he set down the food.

Kara took the seat opposite them both, thanking the waiter.

"When I started with the Daxam Brothers, this show was nothing but griff. A man couldn't walk a straight line through the mid-way without getting his pocket picked half a dozen times." He layed a napkin along his knees. "My father was a cheap _bastard,_ he didn't invest a _dime_ in new acts, so when he pulled a runner everyone thought we were billy up." He hummed lowly, "But, not me."

"And you were nineteen, right darling?" Lena asked, as he agreed. "And Michael got rid of all the pick pockets and grift barkers, he sold off two dead beat clowns and a train car so he could buy Lucia- our fat lady- and Bruce."

"That's right. I needed money, so I had to scavenge _every_ dead circus for _every_ act we have."

Lena touched his shoulder, "But you didn't have to buy me- did you?" She teased.

"No, I had to _marry_ you." He replied, leaning in for a kiss.

Kara tried her best to smile, and ignore the throb in her heart. "Were you a performer?" 

Lena laughed, _"No,_ Michael taught me everything I know, and he told me that one day we'd be as big as Krypton Brothers."

He nodded, "We're on our way. But, this bull.. it has to be _spectacular._ I take care of the spectacle, now I need someone to take care of the bull."

Lena turned to her, "You're going to be the official bullman, you'll have full charge of training Ruby- with a raise." She informed excitedly.

"Modest raise- you'll _hardly_ notice it."

Kara fiddled with her hands wearily, "I know I sort of put myself in this position, but I don't know _anything_ about elephants."

Michael leaned in closer to Lena, "Are we going to tell her the truth." She nodded as he released a deep sigh. "Some outfit will be feeding off our _carcass,_ if we don't bring in the people. And I mean _crowds,_ falling over their feet to get inside our big top. This bull has _got_ to work, Kara- she's _got_ to."

Kara furrowed her brows, swallowing a lump anxiously, "I-I've got to tell you something, and um... I'm not sure you'll trust me after you hear it."

Lena looked at her, confusion showing on her beautiful features.

"I never finished Cornell.. I'm not a _real_ vet. I didn't get my degree- I'm not licensed." She revealed sighing, prepared for the worst.

Michael stayed silent, making her feel more on edge. "Kara, do you think Lucia the fat lady weighs eight hundred pounds."

Lena chuckled lightly, "She's _four_ hundred at tops."

"And when our hippo died, we swapped out her water for formaldehyde and kept on showing her- for two weeks we travelled with a pickled hippo."

They all laughed, Kara out of relief.

 _"Kara,_ the world's run on tricks, everyone plays.. But it's having a _true_ talent, a gift born within- something _no_ degree can give you." He paused, taking a puff of his cigar. "You have such a talent, you knew with one look about Thunder."

He reached over to grab the wine bottle, the dark liquid filling their glasses. "You must learn Cornell, that these rules of the United States of suckers do not apply to us." He raised his glass, "To talent and illusion."

Kara raised hers, still in disbelief. "To Ruby." 

Lena moved her eyes to the blonde, "To Ruby."

Their glasses clinked, "To _all_ we love!" Michael exclaimed dramatically.

It was an hour later, and Kara made her way into the main room, where the slow music was playing. She caught sight of Michael and Lena slow dancing and clumsily sat down.

Michael started to sloppily kiss her, and the blonde looked away, the pang in her chest making itself known again.

"Darling.. be _gentle_ darling.. we have a guest." Lena spoke between kisses, moving her gaze towards Kara. 

The blonde looked down abrubtly, feeling awkward and out of place. But, quickly looked back up when Lena let out a painful gasp.

Michael had her chin gripped tightly between his fingers, raising it towards his face.

"Michael- _Michael._ Know your own strength, darling." Lena urged softly, rubbing his cheek, trying to hide her fear. "I'm _right_ here."

Kara stiffened, not wanting to jump to conclusions, but her fists clenched in anger, as she tried to stop herself from intervening.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Lena murmured. "Excuse me, Kara." She said, helping him get through the curtains and into the small room, he collapsed onto the bed.

Lena moved the curtains, a gap still in the middle, as she sat down and started taking off her heels, her long, creamy legs making Kara feel flushed.

When she re-emerged, closing the curtains again, Kara averted her gaze quickly.

"Is everything alright?" She asked cautiously. 

Lena gave her a tight-lipped smile, "Yes, he's just had too much to drink."

"Should I leave?" 

Lena turned, smiling shyly, "No, I wanna dance."

Kara swallowed nervously, thinking about the closeness, as the performer moved towards her sitting form, offering her hands. "Come on, just dance with me _one_ time, and then I'll let you go home."

Kara raised to her feet slowly as Lena pulled her closer, placing her slim hand onto the blonde's shoulder, and grabbing the other. But, Kara didn't want to seem inappropriate with her other hand, so she just let it hang by her side lamely.

"You do know how to dance, right?"

The blonde released a breathy chuckle, "Of course I do."

"Well, what are you doing with your other hand?" She asked, looking up with an endearing smirk and knowing eyes. "Your allowed to touch my waist, you know."

Kara flushed, stuttering, "R-right.. just wanted to make sure."

Lena giggled, resting her head on Kara's shoulder, as she finally grazed her waist, being cautious not to touch her exposed back. They slowly started swaying to the music and the blonde felt the smooth, silky material of the dress beneath her hand.

"I hope you had fun tonight." Lena murmured, lifting her head and meeting her blue orbs. "Michael really likes you, he could use a friend- we both could."

They continued moving, foreheads getting closer and closer. Feeling the length of their bodies touching.

"It's a pretty song." Kara commented quietly.

"Don't tell him what happened." She whispered softly.

Kara lifted her head, brows furrowed. _"No-_ no, I would never do that."

A beautiful grin made it's way onto Lena's face. "It's the name of the song." She giggled.

Kara laughed airily, "The song?"

"Yes."

They became quiet again, still swaying lazily to the gentle sounds coming from the record player. Lena tilted her head up slightly, eyes gravitating to the soft, pink lips only an inch away, and her breath caught in her throat, as she faintly raised onto her tiptoes, wanting to get closer to the warmth radiating from the blonde. 

Long, dark lashes fluttered shut, as her lips hovered over Kara's, feeling the blonde's hot breath against her own, pulling her in, and they both inhaled sharply, hearts pounding, noses bumping.

 _"Kara."_ She breathed shakily, the air rushing from her lungs all at once. "You should go." She whispered, eyes opening and stepping back, trying to put some distance between them, but immediately missing the blonde's warmth. "I think you should go."

Kara opened her eyes disorientedly, trying to knock herself out of the daze she was in, her pupils dark and dialated. "R-right." She managed to get out.

"Goodnight." Lena whispered, dissappering behind the curtain, before she did something she'd regret.

Kara stood staring, her heart still racing, mind still spinning and hands still shaking, emotions running wild. Lena almost kissed her.

_Lena almost kissed me._

A bright, boisterous smile replaced her stunned expression as she finally turned to leave. _Winn won't be happy about this._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As she made her way down the side of the train, she heard a crowd near her room.

Winn was doing tricks with his dog, people gathered around to watch, and laughing boisterously when they did something funny.

He spotted Kara, grinning happily, "This is my new friend and roommate, _Kara!"_

She looked down smiling shyly, everyone's eyes on her.

"I'd like you to all make her feel at _home."_ He declared, making everyone cheer and shout excitedly.

Before she new it, they were all lifting her up onto her back- above the crowd- making her let out a sound in surprise, and taking her down the train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed he new chapter! Thanks for reading :)


	4. Promise Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Back with a new update hopefully you'll enjoy.
> 
> Just a warning for some violence in this chapter for anyone who needs a heads up.

Kara groaned, waking up with a splitting headache that felt like she was banging her head off a wall.

 _"God,_ what did I do?" She asked herself, voice groggy.

"You threw up on Lucy." Winn replied with amusement, sitting up in bed flipping through a book, his dog laying at his feet.

"Oh _God."_

He let out a loud laugh, "Don't worry, the rest of the time you had fun."

Kara scoffed sarcastically, "Well, that's reassuring." She groaned again. _"Ugh,_ I forgot I agreed to go to the local bar with Alex tonight."

Winn laughed again, "Well, you have a head start on her."

"So do _you._ I said you'd be coming as well." She replied smugly.

 _"Great!"_ He said more happily than she had wanted. "Enjoy your first day as a bullman."

Kara rolled her eyes, starting to change out of the suit from the night before. The suit.. _Lena._

 _"Shit!"_ She exclaimed, under her breath, remembering the almost kiss.

"What happened to my waistcoat?" Winn asked expectantly, removing her from her thoughts.

Kara chuckled lightly, "I'll tell you later."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara opened the doors to where Ruby had stayed over night. It was a small barn, and she was laying amongst the hay on the ground.

"Good _morning."_ She greeted with a toothy grin. "I forgot how _big_ you were."

She crouched down, removing the chain Ruby was attached to, immediatly making her stand tall, her big ears flapping. Kara jumped back in surprise, and the elephant raised her trunk to the blonde's face like the day before, making her chuckle.

"Alright, you have to take it easy on me today. I'm not in the best form." She touched her trunk, "Do you feel like walking?"

 _"Wild_ party I hear." Said a soft voice, making her way over to the elephant.

Kara turned to Lena, her breath catching. "Yeah, I've forgotten most of it. Seems like the rest of these guys haven't though."

Lena moved closer, stroking Ruby's trunk. "Umm.. about last night I-" She looked around worriedly. "It was just the champagne."

Kara lowered her head, trying to cover the hurt showing on her face. "Alright, I-I understand."

Lena tried catching her blue eyes, "I meant what I said about us being friends."

The blonde met her gaze, giving her a small smile that didn't reach her eyes, but suddenly Ruby's trunk raised in between them, making them laugh.

"Good morning, children!" Michael shouted, making Lena walk towards him abrubtly.

"Morning, darling." She replied over cheerily, accepting his embrace. 

"Where were you?" He asked immediately. 

"Oh, I woke up early to train with the girl."

He hummed lowly in response and turned to Kara, "Now, Cornell. Any living creature needs to know who's in charge." He lit the cigarette in his mouth, "They sense when a person's power is in _full_ strength, and when a person's power is, shall we say- _not."_ He clarified, taking a puff.

Kara looked down, trying to hide her annoyance.

He continued, "First of all, can't do anything with a bull without a bull _hook-_ can you?"

Kara stood still for a second, not wanting to take it, but Michael waved expectantly, making her lift it reluctantly.

"And with it, you must claim the role of master- _immediately."_ He spoke, swirls of white smoke coming from his mouth. "And you use it-" He pointed, "-right there, above her shoulder."

Kara made her way to the side of Ruby, bullhook in hand, meeting Lena's anxious eyes.

"And you use your _full_ voice to command."

She cleared her throat, "Uhh.. Ruby- _walk!"_ She ordered, raising the bullhook, but not touching her with it. "Ruby- _move!"_

But the elephant didn't.

"Now, _jab_ her! She needs to know you mean it." Michael pressed, his brows creased in annoyance.

Kara looked to the animal, swallowing a lump, dread and sadness in her eyes. She sighed, "Ruby, _walk!_ Ruby walk- come on." She tried to make her move by touching her lightly, but she just wouldn't.

Michael marched towards her quickly, "Watch me!" He demanded, snatching the bullhook from her hand and shoving her back.

He started jabbing Ruby's shoulder, piercing her skin. "Up." The elephant let out a noise in pain, but didn't move, causing Michael to do it harder. _"Move!"_

Ruby roared loudly, starting to walk, but Michael kept jabbing her harder and _harder,_ puncturing her skin with the sharp edge, and Lena raised her pale hand to her face, hiding the way her brows scrunched up in pain and sadness.

 _"Up! Move!"_ He kept shouting, as they left the barn, and Kara clenched her jaw in anger and sadness, watching the retreating forms. 

She moved her gaze over to Lena, meeting her glassy eyes, and shared a look of understanding.

They both winced at Ruby's roars of agony.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There you are!" Shouted Alex. "I thought you might've decided not to come."

Kara made her way over, Winn not too far behind. "No, I need it after the day I've had." Ruby's noises of pain still echoing in her head.

"Well, we better hurry. The train's leavin' again tonight, so we have to get back in time." John informed, standing next to Jimmy.

Winn nodded, "Alrighty, let's get going then."

The five of them walked into the small town, the orange glow of the streetlamps helping them see their way. It was quiet, but as soon as they stepped through the bar door that changed. It was _very_ rowdy.

Jazz music was playing from the gramophone in the corner, and they were immediately hit with the smell of smoke. 

_"Jesus."_ Winn coughed, causing John to laugh.

Alex took the lead going over to the bar, all of them receiving a few odd looks on the way. "What do yous want?"

"Something _really_ strong." Kara retorted, voice low and flat.

Winn appeared beside her, hand on shoulder, "Hey, I thought you wanted to take it easy after last night."

"Yeah, I've had a change of heart."

Winn looked at her worriedly, "What happened today?"

"I don't wanna talk about it right now. I'm just going to try and enjoy the evening." She replied, wanting to just forget Michael and Lena and _poor_ Ruby.

Winn understood, and backed away, going to order his own drink beside Alex.

"Here you go- one shot of whisky." The bartender said, sliding the small glass over to her. 

The blonde thanked him, setting down her money, and tipping her head back, swallowing the burning, dark liquid. The sensation was far better than the one currently in her chest, so she ordered another.

An hour later they were sat in a booth, Kara's brain and body fuzzy with the alcohol, helping her relax. But, it didn't matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get herself to focus on the conversation. One person on her mind.

Winn suddenly leaned in close, knocking her back into reality, "There's a girl dancing over there that's been giving you the eyes for the past half hour." Alex nodded in agreement. "You should go over and say hello, get your mind off of _you know who."_

Alex gave him a confused look, "Who?"

"Lena." Kara jutted, causing Winn to groan out in exasperation.

"Kara, I told you not to tell _anyone!"_

Alex's eyes doubled in size, "As in _Lena_ Lena."

"Yes." Winn replied before she could open her mouth.

"We almost kissed last night." She blurted, the alcohol giving her loose lips.

 _"WHAT?!!"_ They both said in unison. 

"Michael was sleeping, and we were slow dancing- she was _so_ beautiful." She revealed, almost painfully. "But, this morning she said it was the champagne, and that she wants to be _friends."_

Alex touched her shoulder comfortingly, "I'm sorry, Kara- that's rough." She said whilst Winn started muttering.

"Oh _God,_ this isn't good- this is _not_ good at all."

Kara scoffed, "Tell me about it."

"What did I say about keeping your distance!" He hissed anxiously.

"I know- it won't happen again. Lena made that _crystal_ clear this morning."

He released a sigh, "Good.. it's just- I'm worried, that's all. Michael is-"

"Unpredictable." Alex finished, Winn nodding in agreement. "Which gives you more of a reason to go and talk to bedroom eyes over there." She suggested knowingly.

Kara risked a glance at the girl dancing, hips swaying, looking directly at her. "Her eyes aren't green." She mumbled sadly, causing them both to roll their eyes.

"Kara, Lena's _married,_ I think it's time to move on. You deserve to be happy, and she's not going to be able to give that to you when she's got Michael." Winn stressed. "Go and have a bit of fun."

Kara straightened, picturing what Lena and Michael could be doing right that second. "You know what- you're _right."_ She got to her feet wobbly, trying to pshyc herself up, not being able to deny that the woman _was_ beautiful.

Alex clapped her shoulders, "Go on, girl."

"You can do it!" Winn shouted, laughing slightly in relief, and giving Alex a high five.

She slowly made her way onto the dance floor, heading straight towards the girl in the red dress who was staring at her intensely. The alcohol the only reason she had the courage to do it.

"H-hey." Kara stuttered, _great start, idiot,_ she thought.

The brunette smirked, stepping closer, grabbing the blonde's hands, and placing them onto her slim waist. "What's your name, good-lookin'?"

"Umm.. Kara." She cleared her throat, looking around timidly, _are people okay with us dancing together?_

"Well, _Kara-_ I'm Imra." She breathed hotly into her hear, sending shivers down her spine, and placing her soft hands at the nape of the blonde's neck. "Haven't seen you round here before."

Kara chuckled nervously, feeling the woman start to sway beneath her hands. "That's because I'm just passing through."

She bit her cherry red lip, looking up at the blonde through her long lashes. _"Aww,_ what a shame."

They had turned so that Kara was now facing her friends booth, Imra's back to them. The blonde made the mistake of looking up, seeing their shit-eating grins and excited thumbs up, and nearly laughed at John's eye roll.

"So, do you live here?" She asked, trying to ignore them, and look at this woman without wishing it was someone else.

"Yes, _unfortunately._ This town has very little to offer. You're a nice change."

Kara tried giving her a charming grin- which seemed to work- because Imra suddenly grabbed her by the hand and headed towards the back exit, looking over her shoulder with a glint in her eyes.

As soon as Kara felt the cold night breeze against her face, Imra pulled on her suspenders, crashing their lips together, and catching her by complete surprise. It was all tongue and teeth, full of lust- on Imra's part- and Kara slowly moved until the brunette's back was pressed against the alley wall.

She kissed her fast and rough, trying to forget green eyes and soft, alabaster skin. But the harder she kissed, the worse she felt, and she couldn't forget.

It all just felt _wrong._

Kara pulled back, breathless and lips stained red, about to speak, but never got the chance.

"What the _fuck_ is this!?" Came a deep, angry voice.

The blonde looked up, catching sight of two men making their way down the dark alleyway.

"Corben, this isn't what it looks like." Imra said suddenly, walking towards the blonde man worriedly, but he stormed right past her, straight to Kara, and she knew what was about to happen before it even transpired.

His fist made contact with her face, causing her lip to bust open, and filling her mouth with blood- the metallic taste bitter in her mouth. The force of it made her fall to the ground, and she tried shaking herself out of her shock.

"What the hell are you doing trying to give your _illness_ to my woman!" He yelled, kicking her in the stomach, as Imra pleaded him to stop.

Kara let out a groan in pain, spitting out some of the blood as it ran down her chin. Her body shook with adrenaline, and she stumbled to her feet before he could kick again.

He threw another punch, but Kara quickly dodged it, hitting him square in the nose with as much force as she could muster. A loud crack echoed down the empty alley, as he cried out in pain, clutching his nose that was now running with blood.

_"Fuck!"_

"Yeah, it's not nice- is it?" She sputtered out, wiping her chin, the adrenaline numbing the pain in her- now bruised- knuckles.

Although, before she could take another swing- all her pent up anger from the past few days resurfacing- the second man grabbed her from behind, keeping her hands behind her back.

"Not so _smug_ now." He growled in her ear. "Go on, Corben- take another swing." 

She tried twisting out of his grip furiously, but it was no use.

"With pleasure." He grinned wickedly, teeth red with blood.

He hit her in the stomach _hard,_ making her face scrunch up in pain, and all the air leave her lungs. She heaved, trying to catch a breath, but didn't get the chance before he hit her again, making her knees give out.

 _"Hey!"_ She heard a familiar voice shout. "Get the _fuck_ off her!"

Suddenly Alex was running towards them, punching the man doing all the damage, as Jimmy handled the man behind her- also giving him a piece of his own medicine. 

Winn and John helped her hobble over to the wall as she tried catching her breath.

 _"Jesus,_ Kara- are you alright?" Winn asked, eyes wide with worry.

"Just dandy." She wheezed, wincing in pain when trying to give him a reassuring smile.

 _"God,_ this is my fault. I shouldn't have made you go over to that girl."

"Speak of the devil." Muttered John.

 _"Kara,_ oh my God- I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" She exclaimed, blue eyes glassy with unshed tears.

"Why did you come onto me if you had someone?" Kara asked weakly, breaths still short and ragged.

"I _don't-_ he's my ex." Imra stressed. "But he just can't let the whole thing go."

Jimmy and Alex walked over to the group, the two men on the ground unconscious behind them.

"Let's get going- the train will be leaving shortly anyway." Alex informed, resting her bloody hand on Kara's shoulder.

The blonde turned to Imra, "Will you be alright?"

She smiled sweetly, her eyes apologetic. "Yes, I'll be fine. Make sure to fix up that lip... I-I'm so sorry."

Kara nodded saying goodbye, and the five of them made their way back to the train, her arm wrapped tightly around Winn's shoulders.

"Thank you, guys. If you hadn't come when you did, I don't know what shape I would've been in." 

"Well, I'm glad we didn't have to find out." Winn answered, patting her back.

"How'd yous know something was wrong." Kara asked hoarsely, wincing in pain with the effort.

Alex turned to her, "We didn't, but we saw those two _fucks_ follow yous out, and they just looked suspicious."

"Well, thank you." She nodded at Jimmy and Alex. 

"No need- I enjoyed it." Jimmy replied lowly. "They were bastards." 

"Yeah, I wish I'd gotten a punch in." John retorted disappointingly.

They all laughed, causing Kara to double over, coughing in pain, but Winn patted her back comfortingly.

The blonde smugly rasped, "I managed to break his nose before yous came out."

They all errupted into cheers, and Kara finally felt like she'd found her people.

Once they arrived at the train, Kara and Winn parted ways with the rest of the group.

"You need to get ice on that lip right away." He pressed, helping her into the cart.

"I know, but I'm going to go and see Ruby for awhile."

He gave her a weary look, "Shouldn't you just be getting to bed."

"No, I _need_ to see Ruby, and I can clean my lip while I'm there."

"Fine, just don't be staying too long." He warned, letting go of her gently.

She gave him a salute as the train started moving, and managed to stumble her way to Ruby's cart. The elephant was laying down, exhausted after a day of Michael's constant abuse.

She shuffled to her side with a bucket and rag, getting to her knees, and setting down a lit lantern. She instantly spotted the pierced skin, blood running down the animal's shoulder.

Kara was immediately filled with rage- at herself and at Michael. She should've stopped him, but instead she just watched.

The blonde gently dabbed the wet rag onto Ruby's wound, the animal letting out a noise in pain, staining it red.

"Przepraszam." _I'm sorry._ She whispered regretfully.

Ruby touched her face with her trunk, almost as if she understood, bringing tears to her eyes. But suddenly she heard soft footsteps behind, and a voice that made her heart stutter. 

"What did you say?"

Kara looked towards the woman, as beautiful as ever, the orange glow reflecting off of her green eyes. "I'm sorry." Came her raspy response. "It's polish, my parents are- _were_ originally from there, so they taught me it growing up."

Lena made her way over, settling on the ground beside the blonde. "It sounds beautiful."

"Jesteś piękna." _You are beautiful._ She uttered under her breath.

"How is she?" The performer asked, turning to the elephant. But Kara didn't get the chance to answer as Lena suddenly gasped, touching her cheek tenderly, and turning it towards the light so she could see her face better. _"Oh my God-_ what happened?"

Kara couldn't help but lean slightly into the warmth of her hand, the feeling it gave her better than kissing Imra all together. "It's nothing, just some jerks at the bar."

 _"Oh_ Kara." She murmured, caressing her face with featherlight touches that sent sparks throughout the blonde's entire body. "You need to clean that lip before it gets infected."

She tried waving her off nonchalantly, "It'll be fine-"

Before she could finish, Lena was already up and opening the cupboard in the far corner, grabbing another clean rag, and making her way back over. "Did they hurt you anywhere else?" She asked, green eyes worried and roaming her body for anymore injuries.

"Just a few times in the stomach- I'm fine really." Kara answered, trying to sound convincing.

Lena gave her a disbelieving look as she soaked the rag in cold water, and tilted the blonde's face towards her gently. "This might sting a little."

As soon as the rag made contact with her lip, she fliched out of her hands, hissing in pain. "A _little!"_

Lena chuckled breathily, "Oh come on, don't be a baby." She teased, touching her cheek and dabbing the split lip again lightly.

"What is it with you and always helping me?" Kara asked, the corners of her mouth quirking up slightly, causing her to wince.

"Stop speaking while I'm doing this." Lena chastised softly as she wiped away the blood stain on her chin.

Kara let her eyes wander to Lena's concentrated expression, and the way she was biting down on her soft, delicate lip. Her gaze stayed glued to the act as she suddenly became aware of the situation and their closeness. The hand on her cheek was burning, and she looked up, green eyes already on her own.

She'd been caught.

Kara cleared her throat, hoping the orange glow of the lantern hid her growing blush, and blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "Um- ah, n-nice shirt."

Lena bit the inside of her cheek, trying to hold back her smile in amusement as she brushed her thumb under the broken lip soothingly. "Thank you- even though it's my sleep shirt." She whispered, letting her hands linger a second longer than needed.

Kara rubbed her face in embarrassment, causing Lena to spot her purple and swollen knuckles, and the performer immediately moved it into her lap, gently cradling the bruised hand between both her own.

"Does it hurt?" She asked, grazing them lightly.

Kara let her, the soft touches making her throbbing hand tingle. "A little." She shrugged.

"You'll have to keep something cold on them to stop the swelling." Lena informed, tracing the knuckles with her fingertips. "But they don't seem to be broken, which is good."

Kara snorted as Lena caught her eyes, a slight curve to her rosy lips at the sound. "Can't say the same for his nose."

"I'm sure he deserved it." The performer stated, letting her thumb raise back up to the bust lip, making her point.

Kara inhaled sharply at the contact as her eyes darted back down to the smooth, tempting lips before her. She watched as a pink tongue poked out, making them moist, and she started leaning closer on her own accord, heart thumping in her ears. But before she could get any further, Ruby's trunk came in between their noses, letting them know she was still there.

Kara chuckled, shaking her head whilst patting the animal. "No, we haven't forgotten about you."

"Or your bad wound." Lena added, wetting the rag with a sigh. "What am I going to do with the pair of you?"

Kara smiled, helping to clean the elephant's shoulder. "Keep us out of trouble- right girl?"

Ruby flapped her large ears in response, but let out a noise when they touched the cut skin.

"I know, I know." Lena soothed quietly, her brows creasing in sadness, as the rag slowly turned red.

Kara noticed and moved closer, placing her bruised hand on the performer's shoulder comfortingly. _"Hey-_ I'm not going to let him hurt her again."

Lena looked up worriedly, "You can't stop him, he'll do whatever it takes to get her to perform... and I don't want you getting hurt."

"I can't just _let_ him do this to her-"

 _"Kara,_ you have to promise me you won't intervene." Lena interjected shakily.

"Lena-"

 _"Promise_ me... please."

Kara lowered her head, a crinkle forming above her left eyebrow. "I promise."

Lena closed her eyes, exhaling in relief. "Thank you." She breathed, leaning slightly on the blonde's arm. "I don't want to have to tend to your wounds regularly."

Kara smiled tightly, "You won't have to." She murmured, turning so that her lips were an inch away from the performer's forehead. 

And _God_ did she want to close the space.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Kara was outside with Ruby, getting her ready for her first show. She was slightly worried because Ruby hadn't had very long to practice, and God knows what Michael would do if she messed up.

As Kara turned to get the animal's face harness, Ruby pulled the nail- that was attached to a chain and keeping her in place- out of ground with her trunk, and started walking across the grass.

Kara saw her move in her peripheral, and watched in disbelief as the elephant went over to the pot of pink lemonade, drunk some of it, and walked back to her original spot, pushing the nail back in place. 

The blonde let out a breathy chuckle as she shook her head, eyes filled with shock and fondness, and went over to put on the harness.

"Hey, bullman. How's your lip?"

"It's fine." Kara replied, turning with a smile, but quickly had to swallow as she took in Lena's outfit.

She was wearing see-through tights and a purple leotard that left very little to the imagination, as it only seemed to cover the most vital parts, and a sparkling tiara rested upon her head. She tried her best not to stare at all the smooth, alabaster skin on show.

"Is she ready?" The performer asked.

"Uh, y-yeah. Should be."

Lena smirked lightly, "Would you mind helping me get up- we don't have a ladder round here."

Kara scratched the back of her neck, trying to keep her eyes up. "Umm.. how- I mean- you won't be able to reach." 

Lena walked closer, a spark in her eyes, "I can if I stand on your shoulders- unless they're still sore."

"No, no- they're fine now. The cold water helped." She assured, nearly falling over her own two feet at _that_ memory. "W-will you be able to balance, I don't want you to get hurt."

Lena looked at her with amusement, "Kara, I _am_ an acrobat."

"R-right, how could I forget." She stood awkwardly for a beat, not knowing what to do. "How do we do this?"

Lena smiled widely- her perfect, white teeth on show. "Just crouch down so I can get onto your shoulders, and then I'll be able to balance myself as you stand."

Kara cleared her throat nervously, as she did just that. "Alright, hop on."

Lena made her way over, gently placing her tight-clad feet onto the blonde's broad shoulders, and balancing herself. "Okay, you can stand now."

Kara gripped the feet on either side of her neck and stood easily- the extra weight not a problem to her- as Lena steadied herself against Ruby, feeling flushed at the show of effortless strength, but soon realised she still couldn't reach.

"Umm, Kara- I still can't reach. You're going to have to stand on something."

"Oh, okay. Sit on my shoulders while I get the wooden platform." She said, spotting it only a few feet away.

Lena did what she was told immediately, and Kara quickly realised her mistake- her head was _literally_ between Lena's legs, her long, slender legs. She could feel the tips of her ears turning pink from the warmth radiating from them.

She manovered the platform to beside Ruby quickly, and stepped up, wanting to get out of this situation as quickly as possible, "Are you ready?" The blonde asked, trying to cover the way her voice quivered as she placed her hands under the performer's thighs, ready to lift her back onto her shoulders.

"Yes." Lena replied, sounding breathless.

 _That's odd, is she nervous,_ Kara thought.

Kara lifted the performer up slowly until she could place her feet back onto her shoulders, and Lena gripped her head to steady herself.

It made Kara chuckle slightly.

"Stop laughing! You're making me lose my balance!" Lena exclaimed, trying to hold in her own laughter.

As she stood up straight, now she was able to reach and climb onto Ruby's large back effortlessly.

She peered down at Kara with a small smile as the blonde removed the elephant's chain. "See- easy." She scooted herself closer to Ruby's head. "Are you coming to watch the show?"

Kara craned her neck up to look at the woman, affection clear in her blue eyes. "Of course. Couldn't miss watching my favourite girl." She replied patting Ruby, but locking eyes with the performer.

To the blonde's surprise Lena looked down, a light blush working it's way onto her cheeks. But the whistle for the circus starting interrupted them.

Lena patted Ruby, murmuring for her to move, as Kara shouted, "Good luck!" 

The performer looked back over her shoulder, a small smile gracing her features, as Kara lowered her head with one of her own.

Once they were out of sight, Kara made her way into the main tent, and the audience was already situated and cheering, listening to Michael introducing the acts.

Kara sat down as the performers made their entrance, the crowd errupting in applause. She spotted Winn first and gave him a wave, but quickly directed her gaze back towards the entrance when Ruby walked through, Lena on her back proudly.

The performer was waving with a big grin as Ruby walked along the audience, but Michael suddenly made his way over with the bullhook, making Ruby move towards the crowd. They all leaned back in fear as the animal got too close, and Michael started jabbing her, trying to get her to move. 

He put a smile on his face when turning back to the worried people, keeping them entertained and oblivious to the situation, but returned to Ruby with a snarl and jabbed her harder. This made the animal release a roar in pain as she stood on her two back legs, making Lena hold onto the harness for dear life.

Kara watched with furrowed brows, as the elephant suddenly ran towards the entrance with ground-shaking stomps and loud sounds of distress, causing Lena to also look worried.

Although, the performer quickly grabbed onto the bar above the entry and twisted towards the crowd like it was meant to happen, causing them all to applaud as she spun herself around the bar and landed a backflip.

As soon as she landed, she bowed eloquently and made her exit, but Kara caught sight of her limping and was already out of her seat and running across the tent, Michael going after her as well.

She spotted Lena outside leaning against a wagon, Michael holding her foot between his hands, and ran over.

"Are you alright?" She asked worriedly.

Lena winced slightly, "Yeah.. I just landed funny on my heel."

"Get that _damn_ bull before it's driven out of town- _don't_ forget the bullhook!" Michael demanded angrily.

Kara nodded, lifting it from the ground, and giving Lena one last glance before turning to leave.

"Kara, some of the guys saw it headin' for town. I'll help you, kid." John informed, appearing next to her.

She nodded gratefully, giving him a tight-lipped smile in response.

Once they got into town, they immediatly spotted a large crowd with _of course_ Ruby in the centre. Kara pushed her way through, seeing an officer beside the animal, as she ate a ball of cabbage from a nearby stand with her long trunk.

"This yours?" He asked, tone authoritative. 

John spoke before she could, "Yeah, we'll take care of it officer, don't you worry- thank you."

 _"Ah-_ my cabbage. You paying for those?" The man behind the stand asked.

"We will, we will." Kara replied, no intent of doing so.

John suddenly picked up a bucket, filling it with whisky, and letting Ruby drink it. "They just _love_ booze. One whip of this and she ain't thinkin' about corn no more." He exclaimed as Ruby started following him.

Kara watched her move in shock, surprised it was actually working, and laughed as John took a sip of his own, stumbling slightly, _"Damn_ this old leg a mine!" He then turned to Kara, "Is she following?"

Kara looked back with a smile, "Yeah, she's following."

 _"Ah-_ good."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they had finally got Ruby back into her cart, she made her way to Michael and Lena's, wanting to see how she was. When she entered, it was completely silent, and Lena was sitting down while Michael was leaning against the opposite wall, smoking.

"You okay?" Kara asked softly, the tension in the room stifling.

Lena quickly looked up, giving her a reassuring smile, "Oh- I'm fine. I have a sore wrist, a bruised heel- I'll be fine." She moved her gaze over to a silent Michael, "I-I think Michael could use a drink. Maybe you should take him out, Kara- get him to relax a bit."

He blew some of the smoke from his mouth, "Did you catch that bull?" He asked, voice threateningly low.

Kara released a chuckle, smiling endearingly, "Yeah, I got her back in the cart _eventually."_

"Good." He strode towards her, snatching the bullhook from her hand, and making his way to the door.

 _"Michael."_ Lena warned anxiously, getting up to follow him as he exited the cart, Kara close behind.

Once they were outside his steps became quicker and more determined, until he was fully marching, making Lena shout after him shakily.

"Michael, _don't!"_

But he ignored her shouts, fiery eyes focused, jaw clenched tightly and steps fast and heavy, his body shaking with anger.

Kara ran past Lena, straight to the raging man, "Michael, _don't!_ She was _good,_ she came back on her own- she just needs more time! She wasn't _ready_ yet- _hey!"_

She grabbed his shoulder, twisting him around and trying to stop him, but he shoved her to the ground, lifting the bullhook above his head about to strike. Kara raised her hands for protection as Lena gasped in fear, but he lowered it, turning back to the train- the performer's body visibly deflated with relief.

Kara quickly got up as he went into Ruby's cart, and Lena let out an anxious, _"Kara."_

But the blonde didn't acknowledge her as Michael immediately started plunging the sharp edge into the elephant over and over, shouting and using as much force as he could by swinging it over his shoulder. 

Kara ran in angrily, wrapping her arms around his midsection and pulling him away from the animal, but two men suddenly stopped her. They lifted her out of the train as she struggled, and threw her to the ground in front of Lena. She tried getting up again, but Otis held her in a head lock, keeping her down, as she tried fighting it.

 _"Stop it!"_ Lena screamed anxiously at Otis, as the other man slid the door to the elephant's cart closed.

And they had to sit and listen to Ruby's muffled cries as Michael rocked the entire cart with his strikes. Kara continued to fight the hold as Lena raised her hands to cover her ears, breaths heavy with panic.

When the shouts finally stopped, Michael opened the door, breathless and covered in blood. Lena gave Kara a quick once over to make sure she was alright before turning to Michael with an unreadable look, and walked away.

The blonde watched him with fury as he went after her, and Otis let her go. She huffed out in anger as she stood, stomping quickly into the cart with a lump in her throat.

When she saw Ruby, her eyes became glassy and she tried swallowing the lump, but it was no use. The elephant lay covered in blood with her skin pierced in _so_ many different places, but flapped her ears at seeing Kara, making the blonde's tears fall silently.

Two pairs of feet came running into the cart behind her, but stopped dead in their tracks when seeing Ruby. John took his hat off as Winn touched her shoulder comfortingly.

"We need to get a lot of whiskey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	5. Podnieś Nogę

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer wait, but my updates will be coming slower now- hopefully you'll continue to stick around. Anyways, here's the fifth chapter. Enjoy!

"I don't understand why a man like that wants to be around animals in the first place. He shouldn't have the _right-_ if you ask me." John stated somberly.

Kara took one last blurry look at Ruby before snatching the bullhook off the ground angrily and striding towards Michael's cart with a clenched jaw and determined steps- dangerous scenarios running through her mind.

She spotted Michael sitting on his bed, head in hands, and stepped into the cart quietly, her hands shaking with the pure rage coarsing through her veins. He immediately jumped up, hearing her.

"Lena?" He asked hopefully, exiting the bedroom, but his face dropped when seeing that it wasn't. "Did Lena send you?"

"No." Kara replied lowly, bullhook still clenched tightly in her vibrating hand- it was taking all of her self-control to keep it from making contact with his face.

Michael lowered his head with a crease forming between his eyebrows, "She doesn't want to see me, she won't talk to me... She won't forgive me this time- but maybe you could talk to her." He asked expectantly, but Kara stayed silent. 

He continued when realizing he wasn't going to get an answer, "I know there is no excuse for what I did.. is she alright- Ruby?"

"She could use some whisky."

"Here, here- take all I've got." He started rummaging through his cupboards frantically, lifting out every bottle he could find. "Take it- and will you tell Lena."

Kara shook her head, "Tell her _what?"_

"I saw the bull rear up and run away with her, and I lost my mind. That's no excuse- I know that." He sat down slowly, the chair creaking with the weight. "It's just I've spent all that money on the bull.. I need to pay the workers- I have debts to pay- I _need_ to sell tickets." He stressed, taking a shaky breath and raising his hand to his head. "And that bull is _useless._ If I lose Lena, you must understand, I lose _all_ of this."

Michael suddenly raised his head, catching sight of the bullhook in her hand, eyebrows lowering. "What were you planning on doing with that bullhook... _Kara?"_

The blonde slowly lowered the object in question, staying quiet. She lifted the pile of whisky and left without another word.

She returned to Ruby, the sun setting, and started cleaning her wounds whilst John emptied the whisky bottles into a bucket.

"Are you sure that's not too much- she might get drunk."

John took a sip himself, "She weighs four tonnes, she'll just get sleepy."

"Well, she can barely move as it is." Kara affirmed as the animal let out out a little noise.

 _"Aww_ she'll be fine- isn't that right?" He cooed, patting the elephants side.

Kara sighed, "I don't know what to do, John. He'll _kill_ her next time."

"Well, there's nothin' you can do with a man like that. He throws men off movin' trains so he don't have to pay, you think he thinks twice about killin' one of God's innocent creatures." 

Kara furrowed her brows in anger and sadness, "Can you pass me the other rag?"

"Huh?" He looked around confusedly.

"It's under your foot."

"Oh."

"Lift your leg... lift your leg. Podnieś nogę."

Kara's eyes widened in surprise as Ruby suddenly lifted hers, John having a similar look on his face. She spoke again to make sure, "Opuść nogę." _Lower your leg._

And she did.

Kara let out a breathy laugh, sharing a shocked look with John.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara and John got Ruby out of her cart and onto the field, twinkling lights surrounding her in a circle. The blonde had wrote down every command she could think of and was excited to show them to Michael.

"I want you to read these out loud to Ruby." She explained, handing him the piece of paper.

Michael turned to her expectantly, not knowing what to say.

"Um, podnieś nogę." She replied, reading from her piece of paper.

He then said it aloud, but the elephant didn't move, and Kara felt dread and disappointment work it's way into her chest.

"Might help if you said please." John interjected.

Kara nodded in agreement, "Say, proszę podnieś nogę."

"What does that _mean?"_ Michael asked with annoyance.

"Just try it." She assured.

He released a sigh and shouted the unfamiliar words, sounding odd on his tongue, but it caused Ruby to lift her leg and raise her trunk in a curve, making his brows shoot up in shock.

Kara smiled, "Now, do the next one- opuść nogę."

"Opuść nogę!" He commanded, making the elephant stand back to normal.

"What's the next one?" He asked with more enthusiasm.

"Poloz sie." _Lay down._

"Poloz sie!" He shouted, and she did, making him let out a gleeful laugh.

They spent the next hour working through the list of commands, Michael getting more exhilarated by the second. Once he was heading back to his cart, promising to celebrate the next night, Kara helped Ruby get back into hers, saying goodnight to John.

The blonde settled against the elephants side, her back leaning on the grey skin. "Dobra robota, dziewczyno." _Well done, girl._

Ruby placed her trunk over Kara's lap, and the blonde ran her hand along it softly feeling the rough skin there. But suddenly a shadow appeared, blocking the shine of the moonlight from getting into the cart.

"Kara." The quiet voice breathed shakily.

The blonde raised her head, "Lena." She replied, surprised.

The performer slowly walked closer, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. "How is she?"

Kara smiled sadly, "She's getting there. The whisky helped a lot."

"That's good." Lena replied, hovering with uncertainty. "I'm sorry for intruding- I can leave-"

 _"No,_ no- you're not intruding at all. Come sit, she'll be happy to see you." Kara reassured, patting the empty space next to her with the hand not occupied by Ruby's trunk.

Lena made her way over, lowering herself to the ground beside the blonde, and tucking her legs beneath her thighs, their shoulders brushing. She leant her back against the elephants side, rubbing her soothingly. "Are you alright? Otis had a good hold on your neck."

"Yeah, I'm fine.. just wish I could've gotten to her sooner."

Lena nodded in understanding, swallowing the lump that'd been present ever since the incident, "I feel sick to my stomach.. he went _too_ far this time. He almost _killed_ her-" She choked on a sob, feeling her chest constrict, but tried her best at holding it in. "And _you.._ I thought he was- you almost-"

 _"Hey-_ we're both fine." Kara assured, hesitantly wrapping her arm around the shaking girl's shoulders and pulling her close to her chest.

Lena immediately gripped the blonde's shirt tightly between her fists, letting her tears fall and nestling her head into Kara's warm neck, soaking the fabric of her collar.

 _"Shhhh,_ it's okay." Kara cooed as the other woman continued to tremble, her body lurching with each gasp.

"I-I'm... s-sorry." Lena spluttered, burying her face further into the soft, safe place she'd found.

Kara felt her own chest hurt, but found the confidence to raise one of her hands to the back of the performer's head, letting her fingers run through the raven locks tenderly, as the other continued to rub circles into her back. "None of this is your fault."

The words just made her cry harder and the longing in her heart stronger. Being wrapped up in Kara's arms was like being in a cocoon of warmth and love. It felt like home, and that scared her greatly. The hand in her hair soothed the performer until her sobs turned to sniffles and her shoulders relaxed.

Lena reluctantly moved from her safe spot, wiping away her tears hastily, and looking up at the blonde through her dark, wet lashes. Her now vibrant green eyes meeting the already waiting blue empathetic ones.

"No one's ever treated me the way you do." Lena breathed shakily, hands still gripping her shirt like she'd disappear if she let go. "You're so kind and... warm. It's just.. I've never met someone that makes me feel special- or like I mean something. And not in the way of being a star attraction- in the way that's just.. _me."_ She released a deep breath. "Michael's never made me feel that way."

Kara worried her bottom lip, contemplating if she should say what was on her mind, but eventually gave in. "Why do you stay with him?"

Lena smiled sadly, the blonde watching her with intent. "I was born a passenger.. they found me wrapped up in a newspaper under a seat in Baltimore, Ohio- I was just three days old." She sighed, idly fiddling with a button on Kara's shirt. "I grew up in foster homes.. always daydreaming about who my parents were and hoping that one day I'd run home and they'd be there, waiting with open arms."

Kara lowered her brows in sadness and Lena suddenly raised her finger up to trace the crinkle forming.

"And then the circus came to town, and I remember these six gorgeous black friesians with red tassles hanging down their manes- _so_ beautiful." She expressed fondly. "And Michael was right out front, and as soon as he looked at me I knew.. I'd never live with strangers again. So we got married, and where did I end up? Living on a train."

She shrugged lightly, "It's the only real home I've ever known, and... I'm the star attraction. Out there.. I've got nothing, just like everybody else."

Kara met her soft gaze, swallowing thickly, "You're a beautiful woman, you deserve a beautiful life- that's all there is to it."

Lena's heart throbbed, and in that moment it belonged to the woman next to her. "Where were you when I was seventeen?" She murmured, making Kara look away bashfully, her cheeks reddening.

The performer's gaze drifted away, catching sight of Kara's soaked shoulder, _"Gosh,_ I'm so sorry- I've ruined your shirt."

Kara waved her off, "No, you haven't. You needed it- it was my pleasure. And you're always helping me, it was about time I repayed the favour."

"Well, thank you. I didn't mean to get so emotional, but I'm glad you were the one here." Lena revealed with a small smile. "Um.. do you mind telling me how you got here, joining the circus- you don't have to- I don't mean to pry-"

"No, it's quite alright. You opened up to me, it's only fair I do the same. But just a heads up, I'm not a murderer on the run or anything, if that's what you're thinking." Kara joked, making Lena giggle- the sound music to the blonde's ears.

Although, she immediately felt the grief she'd pushed down creeping back up, and the guilt for trying to forget them. Kara hadn't spoke of her parents to anyone but Winn, and that was brief, but she wanted to tell Lena, show her the parts of herself she hadn't shown anyone else.

"Well, it all started on the day I was going to graduate..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The live jazz band was loud from the stage, and Kara felt out of place even though she was dressed to the standards that were expected- _the almost kiss_ tux is what she called it. The place was very crowded, a sea of people occupying the dance floor. 

Although, Kara was at a small table with Michael and Lena, celebrating her discovery with Ruby, and sipping at her glass of champagne. Taking quick glances at the performer every chance she could.

"The only authentic miracle is success, it washes away old sins- don't you think? Just the thought of it makes all things right." Michael expressed over the trumpets, raising his glass. "Anyway, to Ruby- our big, fat, _beautiful_ bullseye of a star attraction."

Their glasses clinked, Lena locking eyes with the blue ones opposite her and taking a gulp of the strong liquid. She was discreetly admiring the way the tuxedo fitted the blonde's body.

"I need to get more champagne." Michael declared suddenly.

"Let me get it." Kara informed, standing quickly.

"No- _sit._ My party." He instructed, setting down his glass and moving away from the table.

Kara sat back down slowly, looking towards Lena who already had her gaze set on the blonde. Her green eyes intense and vibrant, piercing into Kara's own, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

She cleared her throat nervously, trying to break the sudden tension between them. "It's good seeing him like this, looks like we'll be standing room only from now on."

Lena seemed to ignore her attempt at conversation, her gaze staying unwavering, "Let's dance."

The blonde immediately felt nervous, having flashbacks to the last time they did just that and how it ended. But she couldn't deny the woman, so agreed as Lena reached over the table to grab her hand, her touch making Kara's heart thump erratically.

They squeezed their way through the countless dancing bodies, never letting go of the other, and once they'd found a bit of space in the middle of the crowd, Lena's hand was already on the blonde's shoulder and pulling her closer. 

The live music was upbeat, making them sway quicker, and Kara twirled the performer with a bright smile, receiving one in return. When she twirled her back, Lena's back pressed against the blonde's front, and Kara inhaled sharply, raven hair tickling her nose. Lena's hips were swaying to the rhythm beneath her hands and the performer tilted her head up, brushing her nose under the blonde's chin with a smile, making Kara feel very, _very_ warm. Lena felt the blonde's touch burn through the material of her dress and suddenly wanted them on her skin desperately.

She spun back around, bringing her hand up to the nape of Kara's neck, playing with the hairs there and urging her closer. Suddenly it felt like everyone around was in slow motion and they were the only two people in the room- the only two people in the world.

They both leaned closer on instinct, eyes boring into the others, about to cross the border of friendly, when there was a loud bang.

"This is a _raid!"_

It was chaos in an instance, everyone screaming and tripping over each other to get out, and Kara felt Lena get shoved out of her arms, disappearing into the moving crowd.

"LENA! _LENA!"_

She tried looking over the swarm of heads but couldn't see her anywhere, and she was getting shoved towards the exit before she could look any longer, people knocking over tables on the way. 

Once she got outside, squeezing from the crowd and finally feeling like she could breathe again, Lena was standing waiting and shouted, "Kara!"

The blonde whipped her head towards the sound and spotted her, immediately grabbing her hand tightly, and taking her down the nearest alley- Lena's heels clacking as they ran. Kara caught sight of a gap and pulled the performer in quickly. 

They could see people running past them, down the dark alleyway, but stayed hidden from sight. Kara's back pressed against the wall as Lena huddled in close, giggling slightly.

"Are you alright?" The blonde asked, out of breath.

"That was really close." She replied, still giggling.

It made Kara chuckle airily, "I don't know how we're going to find our way back. Especially if we don't find Michael."

They became quiet, Lena looking at her intently, and Kara cleared her throat, "We should probably go look for him- right?" She asked, letting her eyes drop down to the ruby red lips she desperately wanted to taste.

Lena was also staring at the soft lips in front of her, licking her own, and moving closer- Kara's warmth pulling her in. She was so close she could feel the blonde's hot breath against her own, and Kara's heart pounded in her ears as she surged forward, _finally_ closing the distance.

Lena's breath caught in her throat as her lashes fluttered shut at the feeling of smooth lips sliding perfectly into place against her own, her hand immediately going to the blonde's warm cheek. She pulled back slightly, letting their shaky breaths mingle together for a moment, before rushing back in- and it was _so_ unbelievably soft, like nothing Lena had ever felt before.

Kara captured Lena's bottom lip between both her own, sucking lightly and tasting her lipstick. When she touched her waist, it sent goosebumps up the performer's back. 

They took their time, exploring each other slowly, and when Lena felt a warm tongue slide along her bottom lip hesitantly- asking for permission- she couldn't deny it. The performer opened her mouth, allowing the blonde to deepen the kiss, and when their tongues touched Lena let out a quiet gasp, the feeling setting her entire body ablaze.

Kara tilted her head to the side, trying to get even closer, and felt sparks flow right down to her toes- a warmth blooming in her chest. But before she could go any further, Lena pulled back with a pained expression, her hand falling from the blonde's face- making her miss it immediately.

Lena's chest was instantly filled with fear as the reality of what she'd just done set in. _Of course_ she didn't want to stop, but she'd let herself get lost in the fantasy for too long. She was married to a dangerous man, and knew she had to end this for Kara's own good- to keep her safe. 

_What would Michael do if he found out?_ The thought frightened her beyond belief, and suddenly she couldn't breathe. 

She took a step back, putting some distance between them, and releasing a shaky breath through tingling lips, "Don't follow me." She whispered, turning on her heel and running out of the alley before Kara could even get a word out.

The blonde felt like Lena had just ripped her heart out and ran with it- the ache there proving her point. She leaned against the wall behind heavily, trying to wrap her hazy head around everything that'd just happened.

She'd never wanted that kiss to end, and would've happily done it for the rest of her life if Lena had let her. Nothing had ever made her body react so strongly before, and it made her feel like she could finally breathe.

The thought of Lena making her way back to the train alone worried the blonde, but she respected her wishes and didn't follow. She stayed in the alleyway for what seemed like hours before making her way into the quiet town- the mere opposite of what it was minutes ago. 

Although, Kara then remembered she didn't know her way back to the train and considered not going back. She pondered the thought that maybe the circus life just wasn't for her, and that she should just let Lena go, that it was the best thing for everyone. But as she walked out of town, she convinced herself that she had to stay to protect Ruby and Lena, because Michael couldn't be trusted. 

_Maybe I'm the one that can't be trusted._

When she could finally see the familiar carts in the distance, the sun had risen and she could smell the crisp early-morning air. 

She jumped into Ruby's cart heavily- feeling like her heart was weighing down on her- and the elephant flapped her ears immediately at the blonde's presence.

Kara sighed tiredly as she lay against the elephant's side, "Co ja robię, słodyczka?" _What am I doing, sweetness._

Ruby just placed her trunk into the blonde's palm in response, and Kara held it gratefully- the action becoming familiar. She let herself succumb to sleep, her thoughts quieting, and body relaxing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey- _hey."_

Kara opened her eyes slowly, the feeling of someone nudging her shoulder bringing her from her blissful escape. She squinted up tiredly at the person responsible, seeing Winn.

"Something's wrong with John." He whispered worriedly. "Come on."

Kara got to her feet drowsily, trying to rub the sleep from her eyes and not disturb Ruby- worry spiking in her chest.

They made their way outside and along the train, down to his cart. As soon as Kara entered, she spotted John sitting on the floor, Alex and Jimmy next to him.

"Hey, kid." He greeted, trying to put up a front. "How nice to see you."

"Hey, John." She replied, giving him a timid smile and crouching next to him. "What's wrong?"

 _"Aw_ I don't know. I woke up this mornin' and my feet were all floppy.. I just.. I just can't feel them right."

Kara started to gently touch his foot, trying to see if she could find anything. 

"And it's not just that though, there's.. there's _other_ stuff too." He informed lowly.

"Like down there- man stuff?" Winn asked.

John nodded, "Yeah."

"What's wrong with him, doc?" Alex asked anxiously, turning to Kara.

"It's jake leg." Winn interjected, and they all looked to him in surprise. "I've seen it before."

"No such thing- is there, doc?" John asked.

Winn continued, lifting an empty bottle of his alcohol, "Manufacturers started putting this plasticizer in this to get around regulations that can make ginger extract not be sold as booze." He turned to John, "You're not supposed to drink this stuff you know."

"What the hell am I supposed to drink to stop the shakes!" He exclaimed. "It's prohibition, I ain't no astor."

"It's okay John, tomorrow's payday- we'll get you some moonshine." Alex assured, touching his shoulder comfortingly.

"Don't lie to the man, if we were getting payed Otis wouldn't have red lighted nine men." Jimmy informed firmly.

Kara looked at him with shock, "It can't be true."

"Nine men dissappered between Goshen and Weehawken, and we didn't make no stops."

Kara scoffed in disbelief, her brows furrowing, "Well is he going to get better?" She asked Winn.

"If Otis or Morgan see John like this- it's _over._ We need to get him out of sight, Kara." Alex urged.

Kara nodded, swallowing nervously, "Alright, we'll move him to mine and Winn's cart."

The blonde hooked her arms under John's armpits as Jimmy lifted his feet, and they made their way outside, getting to their room as quick as possible, Winn and Alex keeping watch.

Once they manovered through the small door, they lowered him onto Winn's bed gently, Alex and Jimmy helping him get comfortable.

Winn pulled Kara aside, lowering his voice, "Kara, in a week he'll not be able to move his legs at _all."_

"Listen, he told me he has a son in Redding and we play there in three weeks- _three weeks,_ that's all he needs. Otis and his men don't patrol performer carts." She replied, trying to stay positive.

He sighed, "Okay, you're right." Then suddenly looked up, gesturing to her face, "By the way you've got red all around your mouth." He stated knowingly. 

Kara eyes widened as she rubbed at her lips furiously, and Winn would've laughed if he wasn't so worried.

"We'll talk later." He warned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara had changed and was heading to breakfast like usual, not wanting to arouse any suspicion. As she walked across the field towards the buzz of noise in the small tent, her heart rate picked up with nerves. The thought of seeing Lena after what had happened the night before made her palms clammy, and she wiped them on her trousers.

Kara caught sight of raven hair flowing down a slim back, and swallowed thickly as she edged closer.

"Morning." She greeted once she was standing beside her table, wringing her hands nervously.

Lena looked up immediately, eyes flashing with fear and her heart aching. She tried keeping her facial expression composed, hoping the blonde wouldn't be able to see right through her. "Morning." She replied, giving a tight-lipped smile.

"Um.. d-do you mind if I sit?" Kara asked, gesturing to the chair opposite the performer.

"Of course."

Kara took a seat, clasping her hands together on the table, and Lena kept her gaze down focusing on her task at hand- knitting- knowing if she looked into those ocean eyes she wouldn't be able to do it.

The blonde cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence, "Uh.. can we speak privately later?"

Lena kept her eyes down, her chest clenching, "Why- is something the matter?" She asked innocently, continuing to wove the material together.

"Well, I.. I just wanted to apologise about what happened last night." She stated softly.

The sound of Kara's quiet, unsure voice made it so much harder, but she pushed herself to laugh, knowing it was the best thing for her, "Well, that's silly Kara- why would you apologise. You weren't even there."

Kara's brows furrowed in confusion as hurt flashed across her face, and Lena knew if she looked up her will would break, so she continued with a tight chest, "I explained to Michael what happened, as best as I could remember it- you know the champagne just overwhelms me. I remember there was a crowd, and people were pushing, and I was running-"

"Morning children!" Michael exclaimed brightly, taking the seat beside Lena.

The performer was relieved but also uneasy about the interruption, and she finally risked a quick glance at the woman opposite, which proved to be a bad idea as it made her heart stutter. Memories of soft lips and gentle hands entering her mind, but seeing the confusion and hurt on the blonde's face immediately filled her with guilt.

"That was quite an adventure we had last night. I'm glad I didn't have to bail you out of jail." He expressed to Kara, laying a napkin neatly over his lap. "How'd you get home?"

"I-I took the.. fairy."

 _"Brilliant,_ and cheap- good woman." He grinned widely, "I slept like a baby after last night." He boasted, pulling Lena into his side and kissing her cheek suggestively. "Thank you _my darling."_

"Michael _please_ we're in public." Lena chastised, her stomach turning nauseatingly.

 _"What!_ Nothing to be ashamed of. Man and wife reuniting in the marriage bed- it's a sacred act." Michael declared pointedly, looking at Kara.

The blonde lowered her head, trying to cover the sadness showing on it, and suddenly there was a lump in her throat and an ache in her chest.

"My Lena has forgiven me! All's well with the world again." He informed happily as Lena kept her pained gaze down, brows furrowed.

Kara tried giving him a smile but it just felt more like a grimace. She hoped he didn't notice.

After a very awkward and quiet breakfast, Kara and Michael went into the main tent to work on Ruby's commands, the elephant getting better with each practice.

"Stanie na rękach!" _Hand stand._ Michael ordered, and Ruby slowly raised onto her front two legs, trunk curling eloquently.

"What's this one?" He asked quietly.

"Um.. spacerować." _Walk._ She muttered.

"Spacerować!" 

The elephant started her walk around the tent and it was the first time Kara had smiled genuinely that day. Michael turned to her with one of his own.

 _"Beautiful,_ Kara." He stated, but his expression changed to something more serious, his eyes turning stony. "You know I was really worried about you two last night. If anything had happened to Lena... if anyone had harmed her or.. as much as _touched_ her- I'd hate to think of it."

Kara swallowed thickly and pushed her hands into her pockets to stop them from fidgeting. She turned back to Ruby as he asked for the next command.

"Stoisko!" _Stand._ He shouted, and the elephant raised onto her back two legs perfectly, without any hesitation.

Kara stayed quiet for the rest of the practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She returned to her room with a headache, heart ache, and feeling sick to her stomach. As soon as she entered the small door, she was greeted with four sets of eyes.

"You look like shit." Alex stated, snatching the bottle of alcohol from Jimmy and shoving it into her hands. "Join the party."

Kara tilted her head back, taking three big gulps- that she immediately regretted. _"Ughh_ why didn't I learn from last time." She choked, collapsing onto her bed beside Winn and petting the dog laying next to him.

"Are you feeling okay? Alex was right- you do look like shit." Winn rubbed her shoulder.

"Thanks guys." She mumbled, making them all chuckle.

"It looks like you need to talk." John gruffed knowingly.

"Is it about 'you know who'?" Alex mused, lifting her eyebrows. "Cause I'm interested in knowing how _that's_ goin'. We all saw your lips this mornin', we're pretty sure it wasn't your own lipstick."

Kara sighed, her shoulders deflating, "Yeah."

"Am I the only one who don't know who this person is?" Jimmy asked with confusion.

 _"Yep."_ They all replied in unison.

He looked at them all expectantly and Alex rolled her eyes, "Lena- you idiot. Keep up."

His eyes widened in shock.

"We kissed last night." The blonde informed lowly, her chest hurting with the memory.

Alex chuckled, "Well, that's what we all got- _except_ Jimmy- about the-" She gestured to her mouth.

"Right, well I spoke with her at breakfast this morning. I wanted to apologise for it... But she wouldn't even _look_ at me." Kara breathed, trying to prevent her blue eyes from becoming glassy.

Winn rubbed her back soothingly, "I knew this wasn't going to end well." He sighed, "Lena's probably _terrified_ of Michael and how he'd react if he ever found out."

"Yeah.. about that." Kara started sheepishly, "I-I think he threatened me today."

_"What!"_

"Not directly." She rushed, "I just got the feeling he might be suspecting something."

"This was what I was worried about- it's why I told you to stay _away!"_ Winn exclaimed, raising his pointer fingers to his temples.

"I know but I couldn't.. and now-" Kara felt her heart beat faster at the thought, "I.. I'm in _love_ her."

His eyes widened with bewilderment and his shoulders tensed with worry, "Kara, you've known her for a few weeks."

"I know.. I know it sounds ridiculous.. but I am- I'm in love her." She revealed, more confident now.

John tried sitting up, getting help from Alex, and looked to Kara with understanding, "When I was around your age.. I met the mother of my son. She was a beautiful girl, long dark hair, deep brown eyes... and we fell in love within a week. So, it's not ridiculous.. it's the real kinda love. The love you've gotta hold onto forever. Now, I know your situation is a lot harder because- well, she's married- but also because of the man she's married to. But if you really love each other, everythin' will work out the way it's meant to."

Kara gave him a small nod, "Thank you, John."

"No problem, kid."

"What was her name?" Alex asked curiously with a smile.

"Megan.. and hopefully everythin' will work out with us too once I get off this train."

"I'm sure it will John." Winn expressed optimistically, the worry from before slightly eased. "And I'm sorry Kara for doubting-"

"It's fine, Winn." She assured, pulling him into a hug, "I know you're just worried."

"We _all_ are." Alex interjected, gesturing for them to come over, and she pulled the four of them into a crushing hug.

Kara and Winn accepted it happily whereas Jimmy huddled himself in awkwardly, making John chuckle.

"I'm so glad you guys didn't shoot me." Kara muttered, making them laugh.

Winn shot up abrubtly, confusion and shock in his voice, _"What!?"_


	6. Come With Me

Two weeks had passed by quickly, and Ruby was performing to perfection. Crowds had been piling in to see the elephant, making the circus large amounts of money and Michael a _very_ happy man.

This lead to everyone celebrating the recent success, which was how Kara found herself walking towards the large white gazebo in the middle of the field, playing upbeat jazz music.

Couples were dancing underneath the twinkling fairy lights that'd been placed above, and the loud chatter coming from the circus members could be heard a mile away.

"Why couldn't we have just stayed with John?" Kara asked exasperated, her eyes naturally falling onto the one person who'd avoided her for the past two weeks, causing her heart to race and her stomach to turn nervously.

The only time she'd seen Lena was at shows, and she wasn't embarrassed to admit she'd went to every one.

 _"Because_ we have to act normal, we don't want to make anyone suspicious." Winn replied lowly. "He'll be fine, I'm sure Jimmy's _great_ company."

Alex chuckled, _"Great."_

Kara ignored their banter, stuffing her hands into her pockets, "I just don't like these types of things."

"Oh don't be a drag- you just don't wanna see Lena." Alex stated matter-of-factly, her eyes shining knowingly.

Kara scoffed, "What- _no!_ That's not-" Her excuse died in her throat when she caught sight of the woman in question being pulled into a long kiss by Michael. She swallowed thickly, her chest suddenly tight.

Alex touched her shoulder comfortingly, following her line of sight, "Listen, we're just goin' to stay for a little while so we can say we showed up- we'll be leavin' before you know it."

The blonde cleared her throat, swallowing down her hurt, "Okay, if you say so." She muttered, reluctantly stepping under the gazebo with a sigh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lena was pretending to have a good time, like smiling when she was supposed to and reciprocating Michael's abnormal affection when he expected her to, but none of it was helping replace the ache in her heart from avoiding Kara- the one person who'd made her _feel._

She felt nothing as Michael pulled her into a kiss- it actually made her stomach turn nausiatingly. Although, she had thought it was normal, that it was how you were supposed to feel kissing someone, but her perspective completely changed once she'd kissed Kara.

Kissing Kara felt like _everything._

As she got obnoxiously twirled by Michael, she caught sight of the woman consuming her every thought, making her way into the gazebo. Her blonde hair was up in a messy ponytail and her navy shirt unbuttoned lower than usual, so low she could see the start of her white tank top and the soft, tan skin of her chest- she suddenly had the urge to run her hands along it.

Lena also observed the slight crinkle above her left eyebrow, and the way she kept her gaze down as she sat at one of the tables. It flooded Lena with guilt, she didn't want to be the reason for Kara's discomfort.

"You can go and take a seat, I'm going to get more drinks." Michael expressed over the loud music, leaving her alone in the middle of the dance floor.

Another man offered his hand immediately, but she declined politely and made her way back to their table- one on the opposite side to where Kara and her friends sat.

The performer risked a glance at the blonde- it's what she'd been doing the past two weeks- but instantly averted her gaze away when the familiar blue eyes were already on her. She could still feel Kara's intense gaze burning into the side of her face as she looked down, making her flush.

"Are you alright, darling?" Michael asked, suddenly appearing next to her and setting down their drinks.

"Oh, um.. yes- just warm from all the dancing." She assured, trying to calm the way her heart was racing, and grabbed a glass of the cool liquid, taking a gulp.

He took the seat next to her, wrapping his too large arm around her shoulders possessively, and Lena had to stop herself from instantly pulling away.

"I've thought of a new and better act for you and Ruby..."

He continued to talk into her ear, but Lena wasn't paying any attention, and his voice just became distant- a quiet muffle in the back of her head- as her gaze gravitated back towards Kara's table.

She was surprised to see Lucy Lane leaning against it, her smile dazzling and eyelashes fluttering. She was speaking to Kara, clearing flirting with the girl, and making her cheeks flush a light pink. It made something twist in Lena's stomach- something she didn't like, didn't have the right to feel.

The performer knew she couldn't be _jealous._ Kara was a grown woman and could do whatever she pleased, she didn't have any obligations to Lena. But she couldn't help the way her chest tightened as Lucy grabbed the blonde's hand and dragged her onto the dance floor.

She couldn't help the pain in her heart as Lucy wrapped her arms around the blonde's shoulders and whispered something in her ear, making Kara laugh- that loud, chest warming laugh.

As she continued to watch, she couldn't help but wish it was her in Kara's arms, making her laugh instead.

"Lena.. _Lena-_ are you even listening to me." 

Michael's irritated voice pulled her from her spiralling thoughts, her eyes finally breaking away from the two women dancing in the distance.

"What are you staring at?" He asked, his brows scrunching as he tried following her line of sight.

"Nothing." The performer rushed, turning to him with a smile and changing the subject. "Tell me more about the new act."

His face showed reluctance, and Lena worried he might not let it go, but he eventually resigned, sighing and continuing his explanation- Lena released a breath in relief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara couldn't deny that she was having fun, Lucy was a nice distraction from 'sulking in the corner' as Alex put it. But she couldn't help herself from occasionally looking in Lena's direction, her eyes able to find her easily in the crowd.

The sight of her made the blonde's heart race, and she couldn't help but think Lena was the most beautiful thing to ever grace the face of the Earth. If she still had the honour to look at her in ten, twenty years from now, she was sure her heart would always react the same, it would still beat for her.

Kara was glad to see Winn having a good time himself, dancing with one of the acrobats and showing off his stupid moves, letting go for once. Alex was also dancing- although reluctantly at the start- with a nice brunette named Maggie, and she'd never seen her smile so brightly before.

"Looks like Alex is goin' to have good time." Lucy murmured, nodding in her direction, and Kara looked over Lucy's shoulder, spotting the woman in question getting pulled out of the gazebo by Maggie, both if them giggling and eyes filled with intention.

She smirked knowingly, "Good for her."

Lucy suddenly leaned in close, her lips brushing the shell of her ear, "Do you wanna get out of here too? I can give you one of my.. _private_ shows."

Kara nearly swallowed her tongue, her cheeks flushing crimson and eyes widening in surprise, "I-I'm sorry.. I can't.. I-I've got to.. go and c-check on Ruby." She stammered, nearly giving herself a facepalm right there.

"Oh, that's alright, another time then?" 

Lucy never got an answer, because Kara was already exiting the gazebo- she had ran out of there, _ran-_ leaving Lucy alone on the dance floor.

 _God, why am I such an idiot?_ She thought, shakily filling her lungs with the fresh air of the night, and making her way towards Ruby's small, temporary barn.

_Why can't I just let her go?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lena had seen the blonde run out of the gazebo- it wasn't a surprise since she'd been watching her all night- and she seemed distressed.

Her body started moving without her brains consent, her heart acting before her head could get a chance to process anything.

"Where are you going?" Michael asked firmly.

"I'm going to get some air." She responded quickly, and was pushing through the countless dancing bodies before he could respond, trying to follow the blonde- although already knowing where she would head.

Lena made her way out of the gazebo and to Ruby's barn, the sounds and smells coming from the party drifting off into the distance. It was getting darker the further out she walked- no streetlamps nearby- and Lena felt herself nearly trip a few times, her heels sticking into the mud below.

With each step she took, she could feel herself becoming more and more anxious, _what am I going to say to her? I've avoided her for two weeks, she'll not want to talk to me now._

She blamed her heart for getting herself into this mess, if she'd just stayed at the party she wouldn't be thinking about it at all. Hell, _none_ of it would've happened in the first place if Lena had just stayed away to begin with, like she'd said she would. 

As soon as she laid eyes on Kara she knew she'd be dangerous, and the performer promised herself she would keep her distance, she knew she had to. But Kara pulled her in with that bright, charming smile, her kind heart, and those warm ocean eyes she just wanted to drown in forever.

Lena was too busy spiralling that she hadn't even noticed the dark silhouette of the barn ahead, and the blonde that stood in front of it.

Kara lifted her head quickly, hearing the approaching footsteps as she opened the barn doors.

"Lucy, I'm sorry but I can't right now." The blonde sighed in annoyance, not wanting to reject the woman a second time.

Lena hesitated to answer, swallowing thickly, "It's... it's me."

Kara's eyes widened, caught off guard by the familiar soft voice- the voice she hadn't heard in awhile, but was almost relieved to hear again.

 _"Lena."_ She breathed in shock, "What are you doing here?"

That was the question Lena was dreading, the one she didn't have an answer to, "I.. um.. I don't really know.. I just- I saw you leave the party in a hurry, and wanted to know if you were alright?"

Kara chuckled dryly, "You haven't seemed to care about that the past few weeks." She retorted, the hurt she'd been holding back showing in her words.

"Of _course_ I care." Lena breathed, her brows furrowed with confusion, as if doubting it was the most ridiculous thing she could ever do.

"Yeah, well you have a funny way of showing it."

Lena paused at that, the words hitting her heart full force and making her chest feel tight, "That's fair." She stated quietly, taking a few steps forward with her arms wrapped tightly around herself, whether it was for warmth or protection she didn't know, "Listen, I know I haven't been a good friend the past few weeks, and I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have avoided you, it was stupid, and I'm sorry... I'm just so sca-"

"Dance with me?" Kara asked, cutting the other woman off and surprising herself with the words. 

The blonde, for now, just wanted to live in the moment and hold onto it for as long as she possibly could, to pretend for a little longer that Lena felt the same. She knew she'd get the rest of the apology later, and what would surely be the rejection she'd replayed over and over again in her head ever since the kiss, but she just wanted one more night before she had to let go.

Lena's heart spiked, shock and confusion taking over her features, although she decided to go along with it, "But there's no music."

Kara shrugged, knowing Lena wouldn't be able to see the action, "We can make our own." She answered, disappearing into Ruby's barn, and leaving Lena in the middle of the dark field, filled with complete confusion.

"Come on, girl." Kara directed softly, reappearing with Ruby in tow. "Utrzymać." _Hold._ She asked, handing the elephant a small lantern- which she took with her trunk- and the warm, orange glow lit up the side of Kara's face.

The blonde's attention landed back onto Lena as she offered her hand to the performer, and Lena tried her best to hold back a smile as she slid her hand into the awaiting one- she couldn't help but notice the way they fit perfectly together, almost like they were made to.

Lena inhaled sharply when a gentle but sure hand curled around her waist- resting at the small of her back- bringing her closer and surrounding her with the warmth that was simply just _Kara._

She hesitantly let her hand rest over Kara's shoulder, the lantern held above their heads enabling her to see every inch of the woman before her; the slight curl to the corners of her soft lips she'd been dreaming about for weeks, the defined, sharp cheekbones she wanted to trace with her fingers, the slope of her nose that lead to the crinkle above her left eyebrow- giving away her nerves- and those ocean blues that held all the answers to everything left unspoken between them.

Kara leaned closer, her cheek grazing Lena's temple, and started to softly hum in her ear, swaying them to the sound. The puffs of air coming from her humming hitting Lena's earlobe and sending goosebumps down her spine.

The performer recognized the song immediately- Home by Peter Van Steeden- and felt tears spring to her eyes, breaking the walls she'd put up ever since their kiss. She let herself sink into the blonde, burying her face into Kara's neck and sliding her hand around the back, grazing the hairs there- trying to prevent her tears from spilling over.

She could feel Kara's smile pressed against the side of her head, and she itched to cover it with her own. Suddenly she wanted- _needed-_ to feel the touch of her warm skin, and slipped her hand beneath the blonde's collar until she was caressing the soft skin of her chest- the chest that'd been crying out for her touch at the party.

The contact made Kara suck in a quick breath, her heart coming alive under Lena's palm, but she eventually relaxed into the gentle touches- Lena's fingertips leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake- and let her cheek rest atop the head of raven hair.

Although, during the performer's ministrations, she suddenly felt a protruding object underneath the blonde's tank top, and pulled on it to get a better look. Two golden rings were looped through a chain and she inspected them curiously. "Is there meaning behind the rings?" She asked quietly, keeping her head tucked into the other woman's chest as she ran her fingers over the objects in question.

Lena felt Kara stiffen against her and immediately started backtracking, "I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me- I didn't mean to-"

"No, no it's okay- I just... I haven't told anyone before.. but then again no one's ever asked." Her words were muffled by raven hair, but the performer could hear her perfectly. "They, um, were my parents wedding rings, the only property of theirs I could keep- everything else was taken by the bank." Kara sighed at the thought, her arm tightening around Lena's waist.

"The rings are the only piece of them I have left, so I keep them close to my heart." Kara swallowed thickly, trying to determine if she wanted to say the next part. "And I hope one day.. I can wear them with someone special, someone I look at the way my parents looked at each other."

Suddenly there was a lump in Lena's throat, "That's sounds lovely, Kara." She whispered, gently tucking the rings back under her tank top, and knowing whoever received one would be the luckiest person alive.

"Yeah?" Kara asked, uncertainty clear in her voice.

Lena pulled back, catching the gaze of the woman in front of her, and giving her a smile that didn't reach her eyes, "Yeah."

They continued to dance under the orange glow held by Ruby, the dark field not feeling as eery anymore with Kara's arms around her, and Lena found the symbolism of it all quite ironic. The two of them dancing in the dark, away from any prying eyes, whilst a huge party was going on just five hundred metres away. 

It made Lena's heart ache, because she realised she could never have this, she could never dance with her at a party or wake up next to her every morning, matching rings on both their fingers- she could never have _Kara._

But, she hoped the blonde would find someone who could, because even if Lena had to continue living her miserable life, at least she would know she'd managed to keep her safe from Michael, even if it meant breaking her own heart in the process.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara awoke the next day with a sore back and neck- sleeping on a hard floor the reason for it- but she didn't mind, knowing John needed her bed more than she did.

She lifted her head with a wince and squinted brows, seeing John already awake, "Morning." She rasped, getting to her feet and going to sit next to the man she's come to look up to. "How're you feeling?"

 _"Ugh,_ same as yesterday and the day before that." He gruffed, disappointment in his tone. "I know I'll probably never be the same again."

Kara turned to him, brows furrowed with determination, "Don't say that, it's only been two weeks. Your body could still recover."

"If you say so, kid." He muttered, clearly already accepted the fact he may never walk again. "Anyways enough about me, what's goin' on with that girl of yours."

Kara's heart fluttered at that- _girl of yours,_ "Well, we danced last night." She revealed shyly.

"At the party?" 

"Um, not really. Just.. outside the party." She explained quietly.

"Ahh, I see." He smiled knowingly. "And did you tell her your feelin's yet?"

"Um, no.. I-I can't." Kara replied with a loud sigh, her shoulders dropping heavily, "I'm certain she doesn't feel the same."

"And what makes you say that?" John asked expectantly.

Kara shrugged, "Well, ever since our kiss she's avoided me like the plague. And last night I was sure she finally came to tell me that I'd gotten it all wrong, and she didn't like me like that."

John hummed lowly, like he knew something she didn't, _"Or_ maybe she wasn't, and she's just scared of her feelin's, and don't want it to all blow up."

"What do you mean?" Kara questioned, brows creased with confusion.

He repeated her earlier action, lifting his shoulders in a tired shrug, "Maybe she's scared of Michael and don't want to be the reason you get hurt."

Kara raised her brows, processing the thought, but was abrubtly interrupted by the small door swinging open, and a happy looking Alex stepping through. She slapped the back of Winn's sleeping head on her way past, and made him bolt up right with a jump. 

"Well, look who _finally_ showed up!" Kara exclaimed loudly, startling Jimmy from his spot on the floor, "Enjoy your night?" She asked with a smirk, earning herself her own slap on the head.

"Don't even start." Alex stated flatly, trying to hide her smile, and making John chuckle in the process.

"Was Maggie's bed comfortable enough?" Winn teased, his sleepy eyes filled with amusement.

Kara laughed, "I'm sure it was." She muttered, just glad it wasn't her getting teased for once, as Jimmy wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

Alex rolled her eyes, trying to hide the growing blush in her cheeks, "Ha ha, guys. I'm sure you're happy with yourselves."

"Oh, we won't be forgetting about it anytime soon, so be prepared for a lot more teasing- this is only the start of it." Winn expressed, a smug smile etched across his face that Alex wanted to wipe off immediately. "But, I actually can't believe you _ditched_ us to go get it on with Mag-" 

Alex stepped forward with an outstretched hand, interuppting him, and ready to slap his head again. But, Winn ducked quickly, loud laughter filling the small room as Alex jumped onto his bed, tackling the wiggling boy.

 _"Kara!_ Help me get this _mad_ woman off!" He yelled through laughs and squeals.

Kara just grinned, lifting her hands in surrender, "Sorry, buddy- you're on your own."

 _"Traitor!_ I'm getting a new best friend!"

Kara laughed loudly, "Good luck with that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael blew his whistle, the sharp noise interrupting the chatter in the main tent as he stood on a small plattform- everyone gathered around for an announcement.

 _"Shh,_ children." He chastised the noisy circus members, waiting for all their eyes to focus on him, and they did almost immediately, "The circus is nothing without it's traditions- it's a family- and like any family, when a new member is born it's arrival has to be greeted with _celebration_ and with gratitude."

He paused, scanning the crowd, "Now, I know we've all been kinda busy lately with _sold out performances-_ thank the _Gods!"_ He yelled, raising his hands to clap above his head, everyone else joining in with cheers.

Although, Michael immediately composed himself, quieting them again before continuing, "But, right now I want to take this moment before today's show to gather together... we close our eyes." He explained, making a point by closing his own, everyone else following. "And we thank whoever's up there- that sends desperate people running for the rails-" A buzz of laughter errupted amongst the crowd.

"Because it was a lucky day when _Kara Danvers_ jumped our train!"

Before Kara knew it she was getting shoved to the front, hands patting her back as she passed, and a timid smile etched across her face.

Michael continued, "It's because of _her_ discovery that we have the greatest star attraction in the Daxam Brothers _history!"_ He proclaimed, raising his hand high in the air expectantly.

The blonde looked down- away from everyones gaze- as they cheered and applauded her, and she crossed her arms shyly.

Michael raised his voice as he stepped down from the platform, meeting Kara's gaze with a grin, "And so, to officially welcome her into our family- we open our eyes..." He slowly walked towards her like an animal approaching it's prey, "..and give her the traditional Daxam Brothers _pieing!"_ Michael suddenly yelled, pulling out a bottle of water from behind his back, and spraying it all over the blonde, whilst other circus members smashed plates of cream into her face.

Lena laughed in joy at Kara's shocked expression, and watched as she tried to wipe the cream from her eyes with a smile, resulting in it slipping to her shoulders. Bottles of water and champagne seeped through her clothes, leaving her soaking wet, and all the blonde could do was laugh as Winn pat her back and Lucy kissed her cheek.

A flock of women followed after Lucy, waiting for their turn to kiss the girl's cheek, and Kara felt flushed at the amount of lips on her face. Soon enough it was Lena's turn, and she made her way towards the disoriented blonde- it was tradition, she had to.

Well, that's what she told herself as she raised onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips to the corner of Kara's mouth- the taste of cream on her tongue. "Congratulations, Kara." She murmured, allowing her hand to linger on the blonde's neck and slip down to her messy shoulder, feeling the cream beneath her fingers.

Lena moved until her lips were grazing Kara's ear, and the blonde leaned down instinctively, "Could you bring Ruby to my tent after this, and don't tell anyone, okay?"

Kara met her gaze, nodding subtly, and only let a smile take over her face once the performer had left.

Little did they know, Michael had been watching the interaction from afar, with creased brows and a deep frown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara's stomach fluttered- just like the stars in the sky- as she made her way towards the orange glow of Lena's tent from across the dark field, Ruby in tow. The lead in her hand rubbed against her sweaty palm uncomfortably as her boots sunk into the grass below, her chest tightening with each step.

As the blonde got closer, she spotted Lena waiting, looking so breathtakingly beautiful with her long hair falling in waves just like her dark dress.

Kara was stunned for a moment, but Lena met her gaze, so she cleared her throat nervously, worried no words would escape, "Where do you want her?" She asked, leading Ruby closer, aching to say _so_ much more.

"Oh- um, if you could hitch her right there, that would be great." Lena replied softly, pointing to a post nearby, and Kara made her way over, tieing Ruby up securely. 

"I'm planning a little surprise for Michael, I've never seen the company so happy before- maybe we _will_ give Krypton Brothers a run for their money."

Kara felt her heart sink, _of course it's for Michael, why would she want to see me._

"Do you need anything else?" The blonde asked quietly- holding Ruby's trunk for comfort- and just wanting to get away before Michael arrived- she couldn't watch him put his arms around the performer one more time.

"No, thank you." Lena assured politely, lifting up a bottle of champagne, but struggled to open it, "Um, actually." She laughed slightly, and Kara was already next to her, offering her hands. "Thank you." Lena murmured, looking up at the blonde with those piercing eyes.

"It's alright." Kara shook off, taking the bottle and popping it open instantly, giving it back to the performer with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

 _"Well,_ what's this?" A curious voice asked, suddenly emerging under the tent and making Kara's back straighten, as well as the hairs on her neck.

Lena spun around quickly, "Oh, this is for you- _surprise!"_ She breathed, a big- almost nervous- smile on her face as she looked to Michael, "Congratulations, darling."

Michael grinned, stepping closer to them both, "Thank you my darling."

Kara rubbed the back of her neck, turning to leave with a heavy heart, and touched Ruby's outstretched trunk on the way past.

 _"Kara,_ where are you going?" Michael asked, his voice low, an undertone of a threat, and the night air suddenly felt thick.

"It's your thing." She responded easily, turning around to continue walking, just wanting to get _away._

"No _please,_ join us- come!" He exclaimed loudly, waving at her to come back, but Kara was still hesitant. He turned to his wife, "Lena."

The performer looked to Kara quickly, "Um, of course." She replied, a slight nervous shake to her voice she hoped no one noticed.

Kara edged back with a tight-lipped smile, taking the glass of champagne offered, her stomach turning uneasily.

"To Michael, a genuine miracle man for making a star attraction out of me." Lena raised her glass for a toast and clinked it with the others.

"Many thanks- many thanks to both of you." He expressed, sipping his glass until it was empty, and sighing pleasantly, _"Ah,_ forgive me for arriving too soon and spoiling the surprise- I could go back out and give you more time." He paused, raising his voice with a grin on his face, _"Or_ better yet, I could yell _raid_ and clear the place out! In fact, it gave me an idea for the show- a new act." He informed, falling into the seat behind him as Kara stood uncomfortably, a bad feeling seeping into her chest.

"This is a story- a first dance- two characters." Michael smiled, lifting his fingers to emphasise. "A young awkward man, hopelessly in love with a woman beyond his _reach-_ who teases his affections."

Kara swallowed thickly, her hands clasping together in a nervous habit as Lena looked to her- her eyes saying a million things.

Michael continued, waving his cigarette about, and keeping his voice light, "We start with a romantic melody that _sweeps_ them onto the dance floor.. he wraps his arms around her." Michael moved his eyes to Kara, his gaze immediatley turning icy, and his voice lowered, _"He wraps his arms around her."_

Kara lowered her head, not meeting his gaze or giving in to his demands, worry forming in the pit of her stomach at the threat in his voice.

"Come on, _please- indulge_ me!" He encouraged, lifting his hands, "I'm inspired, and you dress like a man- seem to think you are one."

Lena was the first to step forward, meeting Kara's gaze worriedly, and placed her hand on the blonde's shoulder, much like many times before. Kara gave in, allowing her hands to rest on the performer's waist with furrowed brows.

"The audience will _love_ it!" He stated loudly. "Now, they look into each other's eyes-"

Lena went to protest, "Michael-"

 _"Look_ at her!" Michael yelled angrily, jerking forward in his seat with creased brows, and the outburst made Lena jump. When she obeyed, his face instantly relaxed, going back to normal as he continued, "And she touches his cheek-"

Lena did as she was told, gently grazing her palm against Kara's cheek, and continued to hold her composure as her heart beat erratically against her chest. She tried her best to convey how sorry she was for getting the blonde into this mess through one look.

Michael continued, "And gently runs her hand down his neck, playing with his hair." He smiled, Lena doing it immediately. "Never leaving his eyes- _never_ leaving his eyes.. making him believe she's his." Michael paused, taking a drag of his cigarette, "He slides his hand lower and _lower,_ below her waist. _But,_ she slaps his wrist as if to protect her honour against this _rude_ lothario."

Lena looked down, a pained expression on her face as she slapped Kara's hand, and Michael laughed.

 _"Yes,_ that's it- the audience will eat it up, they _love_ the illusion. They'll never guess you have honour to protect." He stated simply.

Lena sighed tiredly, trying to play it off with an eye roll, even though she was terrified inside, "Michael, _please."_

He ignored her, "It's funny, how things pan out, I've always known the kind of woman you _really_ are. Sitting in front of your dress shop, watching the parade, those little girl lost eyes, this beautiful almost translucent skin- well, translucent to _me,_ I could always see _straight_ through you." He chuckled lowly, "You know, I'm sorry to say that you're really _common_ type, darling-"

"Lena, we should go." Kara interrupted, trying to meet her lowered gaze.

Michael stood abrubtly, an almost wild look in his eyes, "Is that the plan, you're leaving me for _her-_ a _woman_ _!"  
_

 _"No."_ Lena argued, frustration in her tone, covering the fear.

"No?"

"Michael, _please-"_

"If she doesn't mean anything to you, tell me to fire her." He demanded, looking straight into her steely gaze, trying to find any ounce of doubt in them.

She paused for a moment, searching his angry eyes, before answering firmly, "Fire her."

He raised his brows, "Tell me to unleash Otis and his men to teach her a lesson not to touch my things."

Kara shook her head, "Lena.. Lena, it's alright."

"Kara, just _go."_ The performer ordered lowly, looking at the blonde from the corner of her eye, her chest starting to ache.

Michael's face lit up, _"Ohhh,_ decension in the ranks, betrayal trumps lust!" He exclaimed excitedly, a big smile on his face, _"That's_ what sells tickets, kids!"

 _"Michael,_ look at me- _look."_ Lena demanded, grabbing his face between her shaking hands, "I'm not going _anywhere,_ I'm _right_ here."

"Do you want to leave me?" He asked, his voice suddenly unusually small.

 _"No,_ but I'm your _wife,_ I'm not one of your things." Lena retorted sharply, her voice low with anger.

"Prove it."

Lena got to her knees in an instance, the grass staining her dress, and grasped Michael's hands with her own, _"Look_ at me! Nothing is going on- _nothing,_ do you hear me?"

Michael lowered to his own as Lena continued, "I'll never leave you." She whispered, leaning in to kiss the man, and Kara looked away in anger, her fists clenched and shaking from the way Michael was treating the performer.

As they broke apart, Michael rested his head against Lena's shoulder, her hand running through his hair, "Of course.. an innocent woman wouldn't have to get on her _knees."_ He muttered accusingly, lifting his head to meet her gaze, "But, you can't help it can you, just force of habit for a woman like you."

Lena felt all anger finally bubble over, and before she could think her hand was swinging back and slapping his cheek- _hard._

It caused his head to whip to the side, and shock crossed his face as they all listened to the way it echoed around them, but he turned back with full unadultered anger burning in his blood. He suddenly swung his fist, backhanding Lena's cheek and sending her flying into the table behind, knocking it over and hitting her back.

Kara immediately charged towards Michael with an angry yell, tackling him to the ground heavily, and punching him in the face once, twice, before he managed to get his arm around her neck, twisting her until she was in a head lock.

In an instance Otis and his men were over, pulling Kara from Michael's grasp and keeping her hands behind her back. Otis held her wrists tightly as she continued to fight against his hold with growing fervour.

Michael got up sharply, his body shaking with anger and eyes wide and crazed, grabbing the champagne bottle from the table, and emptying it quickly onto the grass. Once there was a puddle at his feet, he moved towards Kara, instantly swinging the heavy glass back, ready to hit her across the head.

Kara closed her eyes tightly in anticipation, and just as it was about to make contact, Otis blocked it with his arm, passing a struggling Kara to the other men, taking the bottle from Michael's shaking hand, "Boss, we'll be _ruined."_

Michael quickly checked his surroundings, slowly coming back to himself when seeing the shocked circus members gathered around, watching the disruption with widened eyes.

Morgan continued to push Kara back, one hand gripping her neck, the other a fist of her shirt, "Walk away, man. Or this can get a lot worse a lot _faster."_ He threatened lowly, giving her one final hard shove.

She nearly stumbled to the ground, coughing and trying to gasp in air.

"I got her- _okay!_ I got her!" Winn exclaimed breathlessly, suddenly next to the blonde and urging her back with his arm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They burst into their cart quickly, the sudden noise making John jump from where he was laying.

"The only thing keeping you alive right now are those people- Michael hates witnesses." Winn informed shakily, rummaging under his bed.

"Oh, jeez, kid- what did you _do?"_ John exclaimed worriedly, straightening slightly with a wince.

"I'm not leaving her with him." She stated firmly, making her way back towards the small door with determination, but suddenly Jimmy and Alex rushed into the room.

 _"Get in-_ shut the door!" Winn shouted to them both hurriedly, and Jimmy held Kara back with force.

"I have to _find_ her!" She yelled angrily, struggling against Jimmy's strong hold.

"You go after her, Michael can have you shot and nobody can stop him." Jimmy explained lowly, trying to get her to stop fighting.

"Look, you just got fired, that makes you a trespasser." Winn clarified, his voice shaking with nerves, but suddenly there was a loud knock at the door, interrupting them, and Winn reached for his knife in a flash.

"Kara!" Lena's worried voice breathed, opening the small door cautiously.

Kara's face immediately relaxed at the sight of the performer, "Lena, are you alright?"

She nodded shakily in response, looking behind her anxiously, "The girls overheard Michael giving Otis the order, they're coming after you as soon as we start to move- you have to get off this train _right_ now."

Just as she finished, the train bells rang, and the train started up, they all felt the rumbles beneath their feet.

Kara swallowed thickly and grabbed her jacket, quickly throwing it on as she stopped next to John at the bed, gripping his hand tightly with her own. He gave her a nod, and she smiled, her eyes glassy, but trying to show her all her thanks in one look.

She wanted to say so much, like _thank you for everything,_ but couldn't find the right words, worried they wouldn't come out at all, she hoped he understood.

She turned towards the others- the people who'd became her family- her expression conflicted, but Winn touched her arm reassuringly, like always, knowing what she needed, _"Go."_

And Kara did, turning to follow Lena without looking back, knowing if she did, it'd be too hard.

"If we don't get too far there's a hotel nearby." Lena informed, using all her body weight to pull open the cart door, the wind nearly knocking her off her feet, her dark hair whipping around her face. "But don't stay longer than the night!" She urged, her voice shaky and raised to be heard over the deafening sounds of the train.

"Just come with me." Kara suggested simply, the air rushing from her lungs all at once.

 _"What?"_ Lena gasped, her eyes widening slightly, and mouth falling open in shock.

"You think there's nothing out there for you, but there is, you just can't see it." The blonde stressed, everything she'd wanted to say for the past month flowing from her, and she couldn't stop it- didn't _want_ to stop it.

Lena paused, taking in the moving world before her, and for a moment she let herself dream, but immediately shut down the possibility, sighing defeatedly, "Kara, you don't understand- I _can't._ He'll _find_ me-"

 _"Lena,"_ Kara breathed, cutting the performer off, "There's a better kind of life that's meant for you, whether that life is with me or not.. whether you love me or not- it doesn't matter." She turned towards the open cart expectantly, "But it's gotta be now."

Lena's chest was raising and falling at an alarming rate, and when Kara lifted her hand to rest in the space between them, the offer was unmistakable. Lena looked to the outstretched hand wearily, knowing it was the step to a better, happier life.

Could she take the leap? 

Her eyes fell back to Kara's, and when she looked into those ocean blues, her mind was already made up. The performer released a shaky breath, and slowly slipped her trembling hand into the warm, awaiting one, the feeling she got from the touch.. everything she'd ever wanted.

But suddenly there was a loud bang, and both their heads whipped towards the sound, catching sight of Otis and his men marching towards them, brows furrowed and eyes blazing.

Lena quickly looked back at Kara, and they shared a nod, the blonde giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

They both held their breath, and together, they took the leap.


	7. I Love You

Their backs hit the grass with a dull thump and Kara groaned at the force of impact, unheard over the raging sounds of the train flying past.

Lena stayed silent beside her, unmoving, and before Kara could panic, she'd seemingly snapped back into action, already up and tugging at their still joined hands with urgency, "Come on, we have to keep moving."

Kara nodded with a wince, quickly raising to a stand, and as soon as her feet hit the ground they were running towards the town lights shining in the distance, hands never leaving one another's, and Lena's heels echoing down the dark, empty road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara opened the door to their hotel room, cautiously peeking her head into the darkness before allowing Lena to enter, their arms brushing on the way past.

The performer edged into the small room slowly, her eyes falling onto the only piece of furniture against the far wall, spiking her heartbeat. A double bed sat by the window, full of intension, and she stood still in the silence, listening to the click of the door shutting, and then the turning of the lock. 

Warm arms were suddenly around her waist from behind, and she let herself sink into the embrace, the back of her head falling to rest against a strong shoulder. Lena took one of the calloused hands between both her own, lifting it to her mouth and pressing tender kisses to each of the bruised knuckles, proof of the damage done to Michael's face.

Light kisses were pressed to her shoulder in response, and Lena's head rolled to the side, her eyes fluttering shut when they followed the movement, drifting up her neck.

Lena suddenly turned in Kara's arms, eyes dark with an unspoken intensity, and she leaned up to nuzzle her nose with Kara's, insisting her closer. Kara tenderly pressed her lips to the bruise forming on the performer's cheek, the bruise there from Michael's doing, and her brows furrowed at the thought of him harming something so delicate. 

Lena trailed her hands up Kara's arms and over her shoulders, fingers lightly grazing the blonde's neck and gliding across her cheeks, before reaching the familiar crinkle creased into her forehead, smoothening it out. Her fingertips traced Kara's lips on the way down before settling around her neck, urging her closer, willing her to close the space between them, there in the darkness. Their lips stayed a fraction away, hovering, breathing the same air, and even in the dark Lena saw the way they trembled.

When the blonde's lips met her own in a gentle kiss, she immediatley felt her body melt, the soft feeling unlike anything she'd ever experienced before, and she wanted _more,_ didn't think she'd ever get enough.

Lena kissed her back with intention, an unrecognizable heat clawing at her insides, desperately calling for Kara's touch. She slid her fingers into Kara's hair, her nails digging into the blonde's scalp, pulling her closer.

Kara groaned into her mouth, lightly sucking on Lena's bottom lip, her breath hitching and heart hammering.

Lena slipped her hands beneath Kara's collar, searching for warm skin, but the blonde quickly pulled back, breathless and unsure, "Lena, we don't have to."

Lena immediately shook her head, gripping the cold material of Kara's jacket tightly between her fists, "I.. I want to." She whispered, resting her head against Kara's, "If you do too."

Kara chuckled, "Of _course_ I do." She breathed, squeezing Lena's waist gently, reassuringly, "I just- I don't want you to feel like we have to."

"I know," Lena whispered, nuzzling her nose softly, "But, I'm telling you.. I _want_ to."

She emphasised her point by pushing her hands beneath Kara's jacket, the garment slipping off the blonde's shoulders and falling to the floor, landing in a heap at their feet, "I want you."

Kara's hands slowly moved up to cup Lena's cheeks, the blue of her eyes reflecting the moonlight coming in from the small window and something _much_ deeper. "I want you too." She murmured, feeling like she'd just revealed a secret she could never take back, but also feeling like it wasn't enough.

Lena smiled, turning to press her lips to the palm on her cheek before pulling Kara back into her space, their bodies pressing together perfectly, and before Kara knew it, Lena was kissing her again, and all her senses were suddenly consumed with _Lena, Lena, Lena._

Lena's soft lips on her own, Lena's warm hands at the base of her neck, scratching, Lena's body pushing against hers with urgency, and Lena's wet tongue sliding into her mouth.

Kara couldn't help the groan that escaped, but Lena swallowed it with her eager lips and started undoing the blonde's shirt buttons quickly, failing a few times with her trembling fingers.

The shirt had the same fate as the jacket, and Lena's hands roamed the newly exposed skin of Kara's toned arms, slipping under the hem of her tank top and tracing the bumps of muscle there, making Kara shiver.

Kara pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses to Lena's jaw and down the slope of her neck, earning a breathy whimper in response, and Lena tilted her head up, giving the blonde more room to suck on the soft skin there.

Kara's hands slipped up Lena's back, searching for the zipper of her dress, and when she found it, pulled back with a nervous expression, "Can I?"

Lena tried to hide her smile, biting down on her bottom lip with a nod, and felt Kara slowly tug down the zipper. The dress slipped from her frame and gracefully fell to the floor, revealing an ungodly amount of soft alabaster skin.

Kara gulped, her throat suddenly dry, and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she took in Lena, just a bra and underwear between them, "You're so beautiful, Lena." She breathed, hands clasped at her sides, scared to touch something so perfect.

Lena looked down nervously, her cheeks flushed, but Kara gently lifted her chin up with her fingers, pressing their lips together in a slow kiss.

Lena's mind turned to mush, any worries immediately forgotton, but reminding her of the low throbbing between her legs. She started undoing Kara's belt buckle with growing urgency, their kisses turning heated, and Lena felt the blonde's touch burning the exposed skin of her waist. 

Lena quickly made work of the blonde's button and zipper, and then Kara's jeans were slipping down her legs and landing around her ankles, leaving her in her boxer briefs.

The performer's hands continued searching, and she desperately pushed at Kara's tank top, throwing the garment aside once it was removed, feeling breathless at the sight.

Kara's lips trailed down Lena's neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake, and stopped to suck on her pulse under her ear. 

_"Kara,"_ Lena gasped, threading her fingers through blonde locks, keeping her in place. _"Please.._ take me to bed."

Kara didn't argue, instantly leaning down to grab the backs of Lena's bare thighs, hoisting her into her arms. Lena's legs immediately wrapped around her waist, fingers threading into her wavy blonde hair, and she kissed Kara like the world was ending.

Kara carried Lena across the small room blindly, Lena's lips the only thing on her mind, and when her shins bumped into the edge of the bed she slowly lowered Lena onto the mattress, her body quickly following, melting into the one below.

Lena sighed at the feeling of Kara's soft skin sliding into place against her own, warm and solid above her.

"Is this okay?" Kara whispered, lips beautifully swollen and hair tousled around Lena's fingers. 

Lena stared up at her in adoration, watching the way Kara's face showed all of the care and consideration she'd ever wanted, and her heart thumped in her ears as she sat up, reaching behind her back to unclasp her bra.

"Yes." Lena breathed, her eyes dark and certain, allowing the bra straps to slip from her pale shoulders.

Kara swallowed thickly, feeling her entire body shake, and her hands moved on their own accord, slowly sliding from Lena's waist to cup her breasts. Lena gasped, her body arching up into Kara's hands, and Kara stared at her in awe, leaning down to suck on the skin of her collarbone.

 _"Kara,"_ Lena moaned, her nails digging into the blonde's back, but Kara couldn't feel it, too preoccupied with sucking Lena's nipple.

When Kara moved to Lena's other breast the performer let out the loudest moan yet, and the blonde felt sharp heat shoot to her core at the sound.

Kara continued her trail, wanting to kiss every inch of Lena, and as she worked her way down Lena's body, the performer became more unsettled, squirming at the attention.

"Kara, _please."_ She begged, unable to control her voice, lifting her hips for something, _anything._

But Kara stopped before reaching Lena's underwear, catching sight of a few small purple bruises on her waist. They were finger indents, like someone had been grabbing her too hard, and Kara's heart ached.

 _"Oh, Lena."_ Kara breathed softly, immediately allowing her lips to kiss each one gently, wanting to replace the pain with love.

Lena combed her hand into Kara's hair, shaking her head gently, wanting the blonde to know it was okay now, she had her.

Kara understood, returning to the waistline of Lena's underwear, and when she met her eyes pointedly, Lena nodded with a shudder. 

Kara slowly slipped the undergarment from her waist and down the smooth skin of her thighs, throwing it behind her. She kissed her way up the inside of Lena's thigh, reaching Lena's now exposed centre, feeling the heat radiating from her, and the performer urged her forward with a tug to her hair, encouraging her.

Kara moved Lena's thighs to rest over her shoulders, pulling her closer, and took a deep breath as she swiped her tongue through Lena's wet folds for the first time. Kara groaned at the feeling and held Lena's waist as she jerked forward, the performer's head falling back with a moan. 

Kara felt her tongue being surrounded with warmth, and the hand in her hair got almost painfully tight, her name falling from Lena's soft lips.

Kara moved her mouth up, searching for Lena's aching bud, and when she found the bundle of nerves, she sucked softly, earning a loud throaty moan.

Lena's hips jerked, starting to rock, and Kara slipped her hand down Lena's thigh, finding the heat with her fingers. Lena's mouth fell open and she added a finger slowly, allowing the performer a moment to adjust before adding another, "Are you alright?" Kara asked breathlessly, groaning at the feeling of silky walls surrounding her fingers.

Lena didn't answer, just nodded, and Kara was suddenly struck by the view infront of her. Lena, naked and panting, her beautiful alabaster skin glistening with sweat, and her dark hair spread out on the pillow behind in waves, but she couldn't stare long before Lena was urging her back into place, her nails digging into the back of Kara's scalp, and she followed gladly. She tried keeping up with Lena's quickening pace, meeting her hips with each thrust.

Lena's moans became desperate, her breathing speeding up, and Kara moved her other hand to Lena's pale, shaking one. The performer intertwined their fingers, gripping her hand painfully.

 _"K-Kara,_ don't stop. I'm close." Lena gasped, her hips continuing to move with the blonde, and when Kara curled her fingers _just right,_ her mouth sucking on her clit, Lena's body let go.

Her head flew back with a silent scream and her back arched, her thighs shaking on Kara's shoulders and the blonde helped her ride out her high, slowly lapping at Lena's centre with her tongue.

When she removed her fingers, Lena let out quiet whine at the loss, and Kara stared at her from her spot across her thigh.

Kara knew then for certain, she was in love.

Lena suddenly let out a breathless laugh, her teeth shining brightly in the moonlight, and Kara smiled.

"So, that's how it's supposed to feel?" Lena asked herself, chest still rising and falling heavily, her dark eyes finding Kara.

Kara chuckled herself, and allowed Lena to pull her up by their intertwined hand. They shared a slow kiss and Lena moaned into it, her hand stroking Kara's face as she pulled back, nuzzling her nose.

"Your turn." She whispered, throwing her leg over Kara's hips, straddling her. But her expression suddenly became nervous and she worried her bottom lip with her teeth, "But I... I haven't done this before, so could you just.. walk me through it?"

"Lena, you don't have to-"

"No," She cut off, "I've already told you, I _want_ to." She urged, running her finger along Kara's jaw. "Just.. let me love you, okay?"

Kara stared up at her with a smile, "Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lena stirred, instinctively reaching out for the warm body next to her, but instead of her fingers meeting soft skin, her hand was met with nothing but cold sheets.

Her eyes flew open in a panic, _What if Michael's got her? What if Otis and his men have already killed her?_ But her eyes immediately found the blonde by the windowsill, in just her tank top, seemingly deep in thought.

The golden light shone through the window, casting the small room in an orange glow, and making Kara look otherworldly, a halo around her blonde locks, the waves falling over her bare shoulders. She wasn't so sure now, maybe it was Kara brightening up the room.

Lena sat up slowly, enveloped in the smell of Kara, the blonde's button up shirt wrapped snuggly around her torso, it slipped off one shoulder, "How long have I been asleep?" She asked, her voice becoming panicked.

Kara turned to her and a bright smile was immediately directed her way, "Morning."

Lena's insides fluttered at the toothy grin, but she couldn't dwell on it, "We can't stay here, Kara. We have to keep moving-"

 _"Hey,"_ Kara soothed, rounding the bed and coming to sit next to her, her hand landing on Lena's, warm and comforting, "Don't worry, we'll get the first bus out of here, then we'll make our way to Ithaca. I'll call my dean, take my finals- we do whatever job we can until my licence comes in- and then we go to Krypton." She finished, an excited smile spreading across her face.

Lena sighed worriedly, "Krypton's a tough act to break into, you can't just walk through the door."

 _"No, no,_ _no."_ Kara murmured, tucking a piece of stray hair behind Lena's ear, she leaned into the touch, "Not if we offer ourselves as a team. You as a performer, me as a vet, that's a pretty sweet deal- _right?"_

Lena, just for a second, let herself believe the possibility, a small smile etching onto her face, "You think they'll take it?"

Before Kara could answer, the door to their hotel room burst open with a loud bang, the sound of the lock breaking echoing around the room and making them both jump.

In a flash Otis was in front of the bed, hitting Kara's cheekbone before she could react, and Lena didn't have a chance to respond. Suddenly large hands were gripping her by the waist and lifting her off the bed, ripping her away from Kara, _"No! NO- Kara!"_ She screamed, struggling in the man's arms as he hawled her from the room. His hands rough and painful, unlike the soft, loving ones that were on her body only hours earlier.

The last thing she saw before rounding the corner was Otis holding down a fighting Kara, knocking her out with a final punch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing Kara felt was pain- _everywhere._

Her body was aching and throbbing all over, her limbs heavy, immobile. She couldn't get herself to move. Her eyes opened slowly, squinting at the harsh light coming in from the window above, and for a moment she thought it had blinded her.

She tried sitting up with a wince, the dried blood on her face proving the expression to be difficult. But she pushed herself, immediately recognizing the hotel room floor she was laying on, and suddenly everything came flooding back with force, causing her to sit up sharply, memories of Lena's screams and Otisis' fist, then black. Only one thought ran through her mind, _I have to get to Lena._

She got off the carpeted floor- now stained dark with her blood- and to her wobbily feet, leaning against the windowsill for support, her knuckles turning white from the sheer pressure.

When Kara saw herself in the reflection of the window, it both startled and scared her- she looked _terrible._ The blonde could see a large bruise purpling on her left cheekbone and a swollen, black eye above it, it was only then she realised she couldn't fully open it. She flinched at the pain when touching her bottom lip, the skin sensitive and seemingly busted, and her entire face was covered in dark, dried blood that seemed to have mostly came from her numb nose.

 _I need to wash this off before leaving, I can't draw any attention to myself,_ she thought, slowly making her way into the tiny bathroom to her left. 

When Kara entered, she shakily turned on the tap, immediately splashing the cold water over her face and gasped as it ran down her neck, soaking the top of her bloody tank top. The blonde pushed through the pain, her entire face stinging, and watched as the water quickly turned red before slipping down the drain.

Once she was as presenible as she could be in her state, she clenched her fists until her nails broke the skin of her palms, and quickly stormed out of the room, passing the busted door laying on the ground at her feet, determination filling her glassy eyes.

_I'm coming for you Michael._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara had walked all day, her shoulders slumped but determined, following the train tracks leading out of town, trying to catch up to the circus.

By the time she'd finally caught sight of the red train it was dark, it's lights glowing in the distance, and smoke drifting through the air. Rain fell from the night sky in force, running down her face and dripping off her chin, it stung the cuts and made her clothes stick to her body uncomfortably, but she didn't care, she'd finally found them.

Kara cut off the tracks and into the trees nearby, sneaking closer to the front of the train, but quickly came to a halt when low voices vibrated through the trees. She cautiously peered out of the dripping leaves and spotted Otis and a few other men trying to move a fallen tree off the tracks.

Once they threw it aside, they moved to head back, and Kara quickly ducked into the bushes, watching them enter the train as the bells rang, signalling the train staring up.

As the train started moving, the smoke wafted around Kara in a cloud of white, _I've done it once before, I can do it again,_ she thought, getting herself ready to jump aboard.

When Kara pulled herself on, her heavy, wet boots thudded with the movement, and she quietly made her way to the small, familiar door, the sight of it instantly filling her with relief.

 _"Winn,"_ She whispered, _"John."_

When Kara opened the wooden door, she expected to see John at his usual spot on the bed, and Winn on his, maybe even Alex and Jimmy, but she didn't expect this- definately not this.

The room was empty, and Kara immediately felt sick, _"No, no, no."_ She searched the small room frantically, her eyes wide with shock, _they're gone, Michael found John, he threw them off, oh God, he threw them off._

Kara shoved her fist into her mouth, biting down to prevent herself from yelling out in anguish, and let her head rest against the post in the middle of the room, closing her eyes, trying to release the anger bubbling up through her nose. She tightly clenched her jaw, throwing her fist at the post with as much force as she could muster, over and over, not being able to feel the pain, the one in her heart much _much_ worse.

The blonde's breaths were heavy and shaky as she swallowed the yells aching to be released, and as she tried to calm down, her eyes caught sight of something shiny on the ground. She immediately recognized it as Winn's knife, and reached down to grab it with her shaky hand, clenching it tightly between her fist.

When she turned to the door, her expression was deadly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara climbed her way up to the roof of the train, just like Michael had shown her all those weeks ago, and jumped from cart to cart. The knife stayed clenched in her fist as she continued working her way up the carts, her eyes set, the strong wind not catching her off guard like the first time.

When Kara reached the cart she was looking for, she dropped down quietly, slowly opening the glass door with her free hand, her body vibrating with all the anger and adrenaline running through her veins. Her hair was soaked and continuously kept dripping onto the carpet below as she crept into the room.

Keeping her back against the wall to sneak around the corner, she peeked around the pulled back curtain that lead to the bedroom, and spotted him, sleeping with his arms around Lena, trapping her.

She squeezed the knife in her hand, and with a deep breath, edged into the small room. As she crept closer, Lena stirred, and suddenly green eyes were on her own, one of them were black, and it made Kara shake more. The blonde silently shook her head as she lifted the knife to Michael's neck, and when Lena spotted it, immediately shook hers back, a pleading look in her eyes.

Kara kept the knife in place, her face scrunched and hand vibrating violently, it was just _so_ close, she could finally end it all, but when she met Lena's desperate eye again, she knew she couldn't do it. So, with furrowed brows and a clenched jaw she shakily lowered the knife back to her side, breathing out of her nose heavily.

Lena closed her eyes, and let out a small sigh in relief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara jumped from her sleep when a hand shook her shoulder.

"Kara, it's okay." Lena assured, sitting on the edge of Winn's bed, voice hushed, "I don't have a lot of time."

Kara raised her head, wanting to ask but already knowing the answer, "Where's Winn and John?" The words slipped from her mouth desperately, and she hoped maybe she was wrong about it all.

Lena took her hand, the touch gentle, "When we jumped the train last night Michael went crazy, he had Otis red lighting men all night." She sighed, her voice sofening, "Winn, Alex and Jimmy hit soft ground and they found John- he had hit the rocks." Lena took a deep breath, squeezing her hand, "He didn't make it."

Kara felt her heart stop for a beat, and swallowed thickly, trying to stop the bile edging up her throat. He was gone, and only a few days before he was supposed to get off and reunite with his family, Kara felt sick.

Lena raised her hand to her cheek, rubbing it soothingly, "Alex and Jimmy are going to take Michael down- I don't know how- but you have to get out of here."

Kara cleared her throat, nodding quickly and blinking away tears, "I'll stay hidden until the matinee starts, and then I'll make my way to town, there's got to be a church or something."

"There is." Lena replied quickly, her hand rubbing soothing circles into Kara's back.

Kara sighed deeply, allowing herself to believe their plan might actually work, they could be together, "You do the spec, but when the show starts, come and meet me. Michael won't know you're gone until the second act so we'll get a head start."

Loud yelling was heard from outside the cart, and Lena stiffened, "I have to go."

Kara leaned closer, her forehead touching Lena's, "Lena, just promise me you'll come... or I'll come back for you- I swear it."

"I'll be there." Lena reasurred firmly, placing her hands on Kara's cheeks and pulling her into a lingering kiss, "I love you." She breathed, meeting her eyes purposefully, pointedly, and Kara allowed herself to smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ladies and gentlemen, and children of _all_ ages! Welcome the stars of the Daxam Brothers most _spectacular_ show on _Earth!"_ Michael yelled, blowing his whistle as the audience applauded.

The music started, and the circus members made their entrance. When Ruby appeared, Lena on her back proudly, the crowd grew louder.

Kara walked away from the tent steadily, heading to town and not looking back, when suddenly the music came to an abrubt stop. Kara paused, and then there was loud screaming.

Kara spun on her heels, sprinting towards the noise, like many of the others outside the tent, and as she got closer, she could hear the roars of lions mixed in with the screaming. Her heart dropped.

When Kara pushed inside the tent, what she was met with couldn't be described as anything other than total _chaos._

Alex and Jimmy had released all the animals from their cages, and they were _everywhere._

The lions were chasing the screaming people from their seats, and hyenas ran around in circles, startling the horses and leading them to run into the posts keeping up the tent. The pieces of wood collapsed and slowly the tent started to aswell.

Suddenly a panicked horse hit Kara's shoulder from behind, sending a sharp pain through her body and knocking her to the ground with a grunt. When she finally raised to her feet again, the horde was coming toward her, and that's when she spotted Lena in the middle of the crowd, still on Ruby.

 _"Lena!"_ She tried running through the frantic crowd, everyone banging into her and keeping her back, _"Lena!"_

There was finally a small opening, but before she could run through, a red blur instantly attacked her. It was Michael, and he hit her over the head with his cane, shoving her against one of the still standing posts.

Kara managed to hit his jaw, but he threw her to the ground and landed on top of her, they were almost getting trampled by the horde. He punched her already bust lip, sending blood flying, and grabbed her by the collar, continuing to repeatedly hit her face- Kara was too disoriented to fight back.

But, suddenly Michael stopped, crying out wildly in pain as Lena hit his side with the dropped cane, and he immediately turned to her with a sneer, getting up stiffly and advancing toward her with a deathly glare.

Lena hit him again as hard as she could, this time on the arm, but it didn't deter Michael at all, and she dropped it in a panic, turning to run instead.

Kara sat up, slowly coming back to herself, and watched as Lena ran towards Ruby. She could see them clearly as the crowd had thinned out, and she watched Michael grab Lena by the leg before she could reach the elephant, dragging her across the ground as she screamed.

Kara quickly got to her feet, eyes set on the pair, but was immediately sent to the ground again by Otis' fist. 

She could hear Lena's screams, and caught sight of Michael over her, holding the cane across her neck. She got up again with determination and hit Otis twice across the face, but he didn't move, continuing to hold her back as she struggled to get to Lena, _"Lena!"_ She yelled desperately, watching Michael continue to crush the cane against her neck, closing her airways.

Ruby yelled in distress, standing on her two back legs, tugging on the chain keeping her in place.

Lena's screams became weak, and Kara continued to fight against Otis, but he was just _too big._ Otis hit her to the ground again.

Michael stayed relentless, and pushed the cane against Lena's neck harder and _harder,_ watching the life slowly leave her eyes, as her struggling became weaker.

When Kara lifted her head, she spotted Ruby's trunk curl around the nail keeping her in place, and suddenly remembered, she could get out herself, she'd done it once before, "Ruby." She breathed weakly, desperately, pleading her to help.

Ruby lifted the nail out of place with a roar, _"Ruby!"_ Kara shouted, willing her to understand, and that's when the elephant swung.

The nail hit the back of Michael's head, and his eyes glazed over, he fell limp beside Lena. The weight was lifted, and Lena desperately gasped for air, sucking in every bit she could.

All the performer could see was Ruby, and she stared up in disbelief as the elephant rose her trunk, trumpeting loudly, her large ears flapping.

Kara looked up in time to see Otis pull out a knife, but only had the chance to panic for a split second before Jimmy and Alex were there, hitting him in the knee with a metal pole and knocking him out, dragging him away.

Kara raised to her feet shakily as Lena got to hers, the performer still breathing heavily as she looked towards Michael's dead body in shock, before stepping over it and running towards her.

They made their way to each other quickly, only breathing properly once they were finally in each other's arms again, and Lena whimpered into Kara's neck. The blonde rubbed soothing circles into her back, holding the back of her head delicately with the other.

They didn't say anything, just held onto each other like it was the last, because that's what they needed.

They could've stood there for minutes or hours, Kara didn't know, before she gently steered Lena towards the exit, Ruby following suite. The performer still gripping her around the waist tightly like she'd disappear if she ever let go.

Kara pressed her lips to Lena's forehead, and they walked out of that tent, never once looking back, leaving the Daxam Brothers and Michael behind, forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! That's the first time I've ever written something like that so hope it was okay. The next chapter will be an epilogue, I can't believe it's coming to an end, but thank you for getting this far and sticking around. I'll see you in the next one :)


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for sticking with the story and coming on this journey with me. Every comment and kudo really made my day and I appreciate each and every one of them. It was my first multi fic and I was so nervous to post it, but all of you have been so kind, and I appreciate all of the lovely things you have said about the story, so thank you.

It was early, rays of sunshine filtering in from the small window of their cart, shining over their bed, and Kara watched the way it danced across Lena's exposed shoulder. She couldn't help but lean forward, pressing her lips to the soft alabaster skin.

Lena let out a small sigh, pulling on the arms around her waist, making them tighter, "Five more minutes." She mumbled.

Kara continued pressing kisses to the back of the performer's neck, a grin on her face, "We've got an early show today, miłość." _Love._

"Don't remind me." Lena grumbled, rolling onto her back and running a hand through her messy dark locks, "This is your fault, _you're_ the one who kept me up most of the night."

Kara kissed down Lena's jaw, her hands squeezing the performer's waist, "Well, I don't remember you complaining at the time."

Lena hummed, the corners of her lips tilting up as she combed her fingers through golden hair, "I suppose you're right."

"Of course I am." Kara retorted, half the sentence muffled by Lena's lips.

Lena moaned softly into the kiss, but pulled back with a raised eyebrow, amusement in her green eyes, "Aren't you so sure of yourself."

Kara chuckled, her smile matching Lena's, "Maybe you should stop talking." She breathed, trying to chase Lena's lips.

Lena pulled back again, a smirk etched across her face, "Didn't you just say we have show to be getting ready for?"

Kara sighed, propping her head on her elbow, "I can still have a kiss." She pouted for good measure.

"You just got one." Lena stated.

"I want one more."

Lena smiled up at her, lifting her hand to caress the blonde's cheek, "No, definitely not, because one will turn into two and then two to three, and then before you know it we'll be having sex for three hours." She finished, dramatically pressing her lips to Kara's cheek and getting out of bed.

Kara huffed and threw herself back onto the mattress, "That's not fair," She complained, pout still in place, "I have to see you in that leotard all day."

"What, this leotard?" Lena asked innocently, sliding the garment in question up her legs.

Kara lifted her head just to immediately throw it back down again, an annoyed groan escaping her lips. Lena laughed in response, loud and beautiful.

"You are a fool, Kara Danvers." She muttered adoringly, throwing a button up shirt at the laying woman. "Now get dressed, we're going to be late and you still need to get Ruby ready."

Kara had done as she'd promised and finished her degree, allowing them to try out for the Krypton Brothers, and as she'd said, they got in- much to Lena's shock.

The circus had taken Ruby in with open arms, she was a great addition to their show, and Kara had made it clear she'd be treated fairly. Winn, Alex and Jimmy also got accepted, Winn with his dog act and Alex and Jimmy as extra helping hands, all respected and in much better living conditions than before.

Kara fought her jeans up her legs, the shirt Lena had threw at her head hanging from her shoulders as she looped her belt.

"Come here." Lena insisted, tiara in place and as beautiful as ever. She pulled Kara closer by her collar, and started buttoning the blonde's shirt with her delicate hands.

"You look beautiful." Kara whispered, allowing her hands to touch Lena's waist and her lips to graze her cheek.

Lena reached the blonde's top button and gave her a warning look, "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm one of those marshmallows you love so much!" She exclaimed, "That looks only good for one thing- making us late."

Kara threw her head back in laughter, the corners of her eyes crinkling, and she pressed her lips to Lena's head, "I'm just too irresistible for you."

Lena rolled her eyes with a grin, "Not as irresistible as Clark Gable."

Kara's mouth dropped open, her hands immediately raising to poke Lena's sides, making her squeal.

"Take it back!"

Lena escaped from her arms, rushing towards the door.

"Take it back you traitor!" Kara reached her before she could escape, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind.

Lena squealed again, her head thrown back with laughter, and Kara took the opportunity to pepper kisses all over the performer's neck, her arms keeping her in place. "Do you really think Clark Gable is irresistible?" She asked, her lips grazing Lena's ear.

The question made Lena laugh more, and Kara's brows creased in confusion, the performer turned in her arms with a smile, "No, darling, I was joking." Lena raised onto her tiptoes, pressing a gentle kiss to Kara's lips, "You're the only person irresistible to me."

Kara's dopey smile in response made Lena's heart flutter, and the blonde leaned down, her breath hitting the performer's ear, making her shiver "I got my kiss."

Lena smacked her on the arm with a roll of the eyes, "You're insufferable."

"And you love me anyway."

"I do," Lena murmured, "I do."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, Kara, it's _perfect."_ Lena breathed in awe, walking through the dark oak door and down the long hall. Her hand tugging on Kara's excitedly. "Come on, I want to see the kitchen."

"Why, are you gonna learn how to cook for us?" Kara asked coyly, allowing herself to be pulled through the house.

"Well, someone's gonna have to, and it won't be you."

Kara chuckled, "Fair enough."

When they reached the end of the hall, turning right to walk under an archway, Lena gasped. She dropped Kara's hand, immediately running to the marble counters and letting her fingertips trace them.

"It's beautiful." Lena whispered, her sparkling eyes meeting Kara's, "Can you imagine us here, living a normal life." She closed her eyes, a smile on her face, "You coming in dirty and tired after a long day, and me making us dinner."

Kara could see Lena playing the scene over in her head as she walked closer, and she slipped her arms around the performer's waist, pulling her close. "It sounds perfect."

"Really?" Lena's eyes fluttered open to meet Kara's, her hands landing on the blonde's shoulders.

Kara nodded, pressing her lips to Lena's head, "Really."

Lena sighed, relishing in the warmth of Kara's arms, "Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I could have this." She traced Kara's jaw with her fingertips, tucking a loose curl behind her ear, "I've always dreamed of having a place of my own, somewhere I can finally settle... somewhere I can call home."

Kara pulled her closer, "As long as you have me, you'll always have a home."

Lena smiled so hard the corners of her eyes crinkled, "Well aren't I lucky."

Kara leaned down, giving Lena a chaste kiss, "I promise you, this place will be ours soon. We've almost saved up enough money to cover it, and once we do, we'll be able to leave the circus." Kara smiled, "And I'll finally start giving you the life you deserve- a happy one. Just me, you and Ruby."

Lena smiled right back, "I can't imagine anything better." She pressed a kiss to the blonde's cheek before escaping from her arms, "Now, come on! I want to see the bedroom."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara made her way towards her group of friends, her heart hammering and hands shaking. They were lounging in the field nearby and she dropped beside them heavily, feeling the grass stain her trousers.

"Well, how're you feeling?" Winn asked, letting his hand fall to rest on Kara's shoulder.

"Terrified." She answered quickly, her knees bouncing up and down as she wiped at the sweat on her forehead. _"God,_ this is a bad idea- isn't it? I shouldn't e-"

"No." Alex stopped, her hand raising to silence her, "You've been plannin' this for months, you can't back out now."

"I know, I know," Kara sighed, her palms getting sweatier by the second, "But what if I ruin everything and she says no. What if-"

"Kara, she's not going to say no." Winn assured, his eyes soft, empathetic, "She left her entire life behind for you, remember?"

"Yeah, you can do this." Jimmy added, his head nodding with confidence, "This is nothin' to what you've been through."

Winn shook his head in agreement, "He's right. This'll be a walk in the park, so stop looking so worried and go make that girl yours."

"Like she's not already." Alex muttered, trying to hide it with a cough.

Kara pushed at her shoulder, the box in her pocket starting to feel a little lighter, "I just, um, I want to say thank you, to all of you. You've always been there for me when I need it and I really am grateful." Kara chuckled lightly, "I know if John were here he'd say I'm being stupid."

"You're _damn_ right he would." Alex scoffed, "He'd say 'That girl looks at you like the stars, now stop bein' a fussbudget and go tell her you think so too'."

They all laughed, heads nodding in agreement, because they knew that's what he'd want, them taking joy from his memory. And they did try their damn hardest to do it as often as possible, but the memory of John still had a distant ache in all their hearts, even after the few years that had gone by since his death.

Winn sighed, "That man always did know there was something special between you two." He squeezed her arm, "Now go and-"

"Hey!" Lena greeted, suddenly appearing behind the group with a bright smile, and Kara almost choked. "What're yous taking about?"

"Oh, nothing interesting."

"Kara's dumness."

"Kara's actually plannin' on askin'- _ow!"_

Alex quickly nudged Jimmy in the ribs, giving him a glare, and Kara sat up sharply.

"Kara's what?" Lena asked, a confused look on her face as she lowered to sit beside the blonde, her hand landing on Kara's knee.

Kara swallowed thickly, the ring in her pocket feeling heavy again, "Oh, um, nothing, we were just talking about the party tonight."

"Oh, yes, I can't wait!" Lena expressed excitedly, "You have to dance with me all night, none of your 'sitting in the corner and observing'." She teased, "Andrea tell her."

Andrea, Lena's best friend, also joined the group, sitting down slowly with a hand on her lower back, her face scrunched up in a grimace.

Kara rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile as Lena pressed a kiss to her cheek, "Fine."

Alex made a fake gagging noise.

Kara looked to Andrea, ignoring the brunette, "How are you keeping? The baby's not long from arriving now."

Andrea gave a tight-lipped smile, "Oh, I know. It certainly feels like they're ready, I just wish they'd hurry up and save me all this pain."

Lena reached over to rub her shoulder soothingly, "I'm sorry it's causing you so much discomfort." She consoled, her eyes full of concern.

They'd all met Andrea on the first day they'd arrived at Krypton Brothers, her smile the most welcoming and her eyes kind as she showed them around. The brunette was an acrobat for the circus, often working with the horses, and she and Lena had became instant friends.

"Has Mark gotten back to you yet?" Lena asked with distaste.

When Andrea had fallen pregnant it came as a shock to all of them, but especially Mark. Andrea and Mark had had an on and off thing, they were together one week off the next, nothing serious, so when Andrea told him about the baby, the next day he was gone. They'd heard nothing from him since.

Andrea scoffed, "Nope. Not one letter. I guess I'm on my own with this."

Kara touched her other shoulder comfortingly, "You're not alone. We're all here for you, for whatever you need."

Andrea smiled sadly, "Thank you. I really appreciate it." She then looked to Kara pointedly, her eyes turning amused, knowing, "Kara, didn't you have something to show Lena?"

Kara swallowed, her throat suddenly dry, and she stood quickly, nearly tripping over her own feet, "Um, yes, I do."

Lena raised her head to look up at the blonde, a confused crinkle on her forehead.

Kara offered the performer her hand, "I found a nice spot nearby, and I wanted to show you."

The confusion was still clear on her face, but the crinkle disappeared, "Oh, okay, darling." She turned to Andrea, "Will you be alright?"

Andrea waved her off, "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I've got Winn here to keep me company."

Lena turned back to Kara, taking the blonde's hand, "Okay, let's go then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kara, where are you taking me?" Lena asked, breathless and giddy, allowing the blonde to lead her through bushes of green.

"We're almost there. I promise." Kara assured, coming to a stop abrubtly and turning to the performer, her eyes filled with expectancy. "You go first."

Lena eyed her wearily before taking a slow step forward, parting the bushes with her hands, and what she saw behind immediately took her breath away. "Oh my god, Kara. It's beautiful." She breathed, her eyes widened in surprise, "How on earth did you find this?"

Lena walked up to the medium-sized lake slowly, the water shining and reflecting the beautiful sunset in the distance, making the water look orange.

As Lena observed the view in awe, Kara quickly pulled the small box from her back pocket before she could change her mind, taking the ring she had previously removed from her chain between her shaking fingers.

She took a deep breath, "Lena, I-"

Kara's breath got caught in her throat as Lena turned to look at her, the sunset behind the performer, hitting her raven hair perfectly and putting every other human being to shame. She looked otherworldly.

Kara fell to one knee before she could even comprehend what she was doing, and all that was heard in the quiet evening was Lena's gasp. It felt like everthing was in slow motion, like they were the only two people to exist, and Kara tried forming the words she'd practised for hours and hours.

"Lena, I know.. I know we can't do this officially," Kara swallowed thickly, trying to clear her dry throat, "But I want to be able show you and everyone else that I'm yours.. completely. I want to make this promise to you, the promise to love you forever, until my last breath."

Lena's eyes shone with tears, her shaking hands raising to cup her gaping mouth.

"Before I met you, I wasn't in a good place. I'd just lost everything and everyone I'd ever known, my heart completely overtaken by grief." Kara sighed, her brows creasing at the memory, "But then I met you, and you slowly started to fill the gaping hole in my heart my parents death had caused."

Lena's eyes softened behind the glassy shine of tears and she dropped her hand to caress Kara's cheek, the other covering her own chest, feeling the erratic beating of her heart.

"I love you, Lena. And I want to continue loving you for the rest of my life. So," She raised the ring between them, the sun catching it and making it glow, "Will you do me the honour of being my wife?"

Time seemed to stop and Kara held her breath as she waited for an answer.

Lena's tears finally spilled over and a blindly bright smile spread across her face, "Of _course_ I'll be your wife, Kara."

Kara released a sigh in relief, a grin similar to Lena's taking over her own face as she allowed herself to be pulled up into a hard kiss, their smiles pressing together.

When Lena pulled back, she stayed close enough that her lips kept grazing the blonde's, "I promise to love you forever too."

"Thank God." Kara breathed, sliding her mother's ring onto Lena's finger, and the performer laughed as Kara lifted her off the ground, spinning her in circles, pressing her lips everywhere she could reach. But the reflections hitting the water caught the blonde's eye and suddenly she had an idea. She kept Lena in her arms as her legs started moving quickly, heading towards the lake.

 _"Kara!"_ Lena screamed, "Kara, I _swear_ to God if you drop me in here, I'm taking it back!"

Kara laughed, the water already up to her knees, "It's too late now, the rings already on- no take backs!"

"Kara, don't you _dare!_ I'll-" 

Lena's protests were cut short, her body suddenly submerging into the water of the lake, and when she came back up spluttering for air it was to see Kara dying of laughter, and her eyes squinted into a glare, "Oh, you're for it now, Danvers."

By the time they'd finished their fight in the lake they were both equally as drenched as the other, their hair sopping and clothes sticking to their bodies uncomfortably, but they didn't seem to care as they kissed under the moonlight, the stars on full show, watching over them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _"Kara!"_ Lena yelled frantically, "Kara, please come here. It's Andrea!"

Kara quickly stepped down from the cart she was working in, setting down her pitchfork and spotting Lena trying to hold up a very pale and unconscious Andrea across the field. She ran over, worry and panic all over her face, "What happened, is she alright?"

Lena blinked back tears, "I-I don't know. We were just talking as usual in the barn and the next minute she's hurled over in pain. I think she fainted.. a-and she's bleeding. Kara, she's bleeding." Lena's voice quivered in fear.

"Okay, okay. It's going to be alright. Just.. give her to me, you go and get some help, okay?"

"Okay." Lena breathed, gently removing Andrea's arm from around her shoulders and giving her over to the blonde. As soon as Andrea was in the safety of Kara's arms Lena ran to the train. Kara had never seen her run so fast before.

Lena had managed to get the circus doctor, Charlie, and all their friends to help with Andrea, and Jimmy helped Kara move Andrea into a cart where she could rest. Sweat had gathered on the brunette's face and she still seemed to be unconscious.

"She's lost a lot of blood." Charlie said, his fingers reaching for her pulse, "We need to get the baby out now. It's not looking good for her."

Lena's tears spilled over and she tucked her face into Kara's neck. Kara rubbed reassuring circles into her back.

Kara cleared her clogged throat, "I know she's been having problems and this is looking bad, but surely there has to be something we can do."

Charlie sighed, "I'm sorry but this is severe. If she's bleeding this much before childbirth, after, well..." He trailed off, not wanting to say what they were all thinking, dreading, and he continued to tap Andrea, trying to get her to wake.

When Andrea's eyes finally flickered open, her brow creased uncomfortably, "Wha.. What happened? I-" She released a groan in pain.

"It's alright Miss Rojas, we're going to get your baby out." Charlie assured, "I know it's painful but you're going to have to work with me- okay?"

Lena grabbed Andrea's hand, squeezing it comfortingly, "You'll be fine, Andrea. We know you can do this. You're so strong."

Charlie turned to them, "Would you all mind giving us some space. One of you can stay, just more than that will overwhelm her."

"I will." Lena rushed, already moving closer, and Kara pressed a kiss to her head before leaving, Winn, Alex and Jimmy following her.

They all gave Andrea one last comforting look, and the brunette tried to smile back, but it looked more like a grimace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara had been sitting outside for hours, just staring at the dried blood that covered her hands, Andrea's blood, and she couldn't believe what was happening, it felt like a nightmare she couldn't wake up from.

Winn had a similar expression, his eyes glazed over, staring into the distance, not looking at anything in particular and everything at the same time.

"It's not good- is it?" Kara rasped, voice scrachy after hours of not using it.

"I.. I don't think so." Alex muttered, her teeth picking at the skin around her fingernails. "We'd just had breakfast with her this mornin' too, like everyday. It was just supposed to be another normal day."

Jimmy touched Alex's shoulder, the creases on his face somber.

Slow footsteps suddenly approached, and Lena stepped down from the train. They all stood from their spots on the ground, their gazes immediately zoning in onto the bundle in her arms, wrapped in a blanket.

Lena was looking down at the baby with tear-stained cheeks and an adoration in her eyes Kara had never seen before, and when Lena raised her head to look at them all, they didn't need to ask, they knew she was gone.

Lena sniffed, and they all moved to huddle around her, giving each other the comfort they needed as they let their own tears fall for the loss of another friend and the gain of a new life.

"She.. She made me p-promise to look after him.. said I was the only person she'd t-trust enough to do it.." Her voice broke, "and that Kara and I would be the b-best parents her son could ever ask for." Lena cried then, sobs shaking her entire body, she'd managed to hold it in for so long.

Kara cried too, and she held Lena and the baby with such care, scared if she touched this new tiny human wrong she might break him, "She would've been a great mother."

"The best." Lena sniffed, her fingertip tracing the edge of the sleeping baby's face.

"Is everythin' okay with the him?" Alex asked, wiping away her own tears, and gesturing towards the baby.

Lena nodded, trying to give a shaky smile, "Yes, Charlie says he's as healthy as they come." The performer swallowed thickly, "He tried everything he could for Andrea, but it just wasn't enough."

A peaceful silence washed over them all as they looked at the new human with wonder.

"He looks just like her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The weeks went by one day at a time and the pain in their hearts got slighty easier with every new day. The absence of Andrea was felt by the entire circus, and they had to take a few weeks off, the once bubbly and excited circus members now quiet and mourning the loss of a friend.

When the shows did return, they made a point of mentioning Andrea and the great person she once was, how her perormances mesmerized anyone watching and her presence lifted the circus when they most needed it.

Kara and Lena didn't know the first thing about being parents, they'd never expected to be thrown into the role so suddenly, but they were trying, for Andrea and this baby.

They'd named the baby John, after the man who's saved Kara's life when she most needed it.

"Are you sure?" She had asked Lena one night when the performer had brought it up with a nervous smile.

"I'm sure." Lena whispered, trying to stay quiet, their baby in his crib nearby, "John Rojas Danvers." She nodded her head in finality, "It sounds perfect."

Once John turned five months old, they decided it was time to leave the circus, living on a train wasn't easy with a baby and they'd finally saved up enough money to move into the house they'd been looking at for years, dreaming of.

"I can't believe this is ours." Lena breathed, walking through the door with their suitcases, Kara not far behind, John in her arms.

"I know." Kara pressed a kiss to her lips and John gurgled into her neck, "I'm going to go show Ruby her new home."

"Oh, okay. I'll take him." Lena smiled at the baby, "Come to mommy, baby boy." She cooed.

"No, it's okay. I'll take him with me. You can help, can't you buddy?" She asked, adjusting him on her hip, "He loves Ruby anyway."

"Yeah, more than us it looks like." Lena grumbled, pulling the suitcases into the house, "Have fun you two." She shouted back to the retreating forms heading for the elephant, a fond smile on her face.

"Look who it is." Kara murmured, moving to pat Ruby, allowing John to press his tiny palm to the elephants rough skin, and he squealed happily.

Ruby lowered her trunk to pat Kara's head before coming down to ever so gently rub John's face, and John's blue eyes widened in wonder.

"Come on, Ruby. Let's take you to your new home." Kara lead her to the big barn beside their house, opening the wide doors and allowing Ruby to enter, her ears flapping happily. "This is all yours from now on. You deserve it. Kocham Cię." _I love you._

"And I love you too." She pressed her lips to John's blonde curls, smiling at the smell of him, some peach shampoo Lena had bought.

"We're gonna be happy here, J." She whispered, "I promise I'm gonna try my hardest to give you the life your momma wanted for you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _"Mama! Mommy!"_ The little body jumped onto the sleeping pair, "Swim! Swim!"

Lena groaned, peeking one eye open, "It's your mama who's taking you, she's the one that promised."

 _"Mommy!"_ John squealed, happy to see one of them awake and talking, "You swim!"

"No, no. Mama's swimming with you, not me."

"No, you!" John exclaimed, and it made Kara laugh. "Mama!"

Kara sat up, pressing a kiss to John's head, "Tell your mommy I'm only taking you if she comes too."

 _"Nu uh._ That's not what we agreed to." Lena insisted, pulling John closer to get a hug.

"Well it is now, Mrs Danvers." Kara teased, joining the hug with a grin.

Before Lena knew it she was walking down to the lake with her family, the lake was right by their house so they let Ruby join them too, and John couldn't be more excited.

He was on Kara's shoulders, swinging his legs, and once he caught sight of the lake he was yelling, "Swim! Swim!"

Kara got into the lake with him, holding the toddler in her arms tight, and Lena sat nearby, Ruby resting her trunk in her lap.

Lena watched the way Kara kept ducking her head beneath the water and coming back up with a funny face, making John laugh, and the sound filled Lena's heart with so much warmth.

The blonde was then throwing him up into the air and catching him, and Lena couldn't help but shout a 'be careful' as she stroked Ruby's trunk.

Awhile later Kara made her way out of the lake, "You make sure you stay here, I don't want to see you going out any further okay. It's dangerous." She warned John, allowing him to stay where the water only reached his knees.

"Okay, mama."

When Kara fell beside Lena, dripping wet, she pressed a kiss to her cheek and Lena moved away quickly with a laugh, "Don't, you're gonna make me all wet."

Kara raised an eyebrow and Lena slapped her shoulder, "I'm serious." She laughed as Kara ignored her request and continued pressing kisses down her neck.

"I love you." Kara breathed, grabbing Lena's left hand and looking at the ring there with a smile.

Lena caressed Kara's cheek, her eyes softening, "I love you too." She moved to rest her forehead against the blonde's, "Thank you for giving me a beautiful life, Kara Danvers." 

Kara grinned, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she pulled back to look into green ones, "You're a beautiful woman Lena Danvers, you deserve a beautiful life- that's all there is to it."

Lena pulled her in for a kiss, their teeth hitting from smiling so hard, and when they pulled back Lena rested her head on Kara's shoulder, forgetting all about getting wet.

And as Kara watched John in the distance, wobbily making his way over to Ruby and screaming gleefully when she sprayed a cloud of water over him, her heart filled with love and happiness, and she knew then, she'd found her home, and _God_ was it beautiful.


End file.
